I've been trying to read this book forever, but now with the intention of reading "The Plague"--so fitting during the current pandemic--I am forcing myself to understand the rebellious morality first before proceeding to the infected town and its philosophical consequence. The problem is that Camus' book has a lot of references on figures of … Continue reading Reading “The Rebel”
Author: haoyando
Last Chapter
Now I am at the last chapter of "In Defense of Women" and I just can't help laughing that Mencken is railing against women who are more interested in taking jobs, gaining financial independence, and having fun than jumping into marriage. Obviously he's not happy about this. In the previous chapters, he's railing against women … Continue reading Last Chapter
Where Is It
I thought about something-- an idiosyncrasy, a trait observed through a common behavior, something universal yet with an Asian twist. How wonderful. I was cooking and I didn't write it down, trusting my memory, disregarding my usual forgetfulness. Despite numerous evidence to the contrary, I still believe in my ability, especially in the realm of … Continue reading Where Is It
A Phone Call
A stranger on the other end of the radio waved cell phone signals, and she laughed at the things I said, I mean everything I said, all my failed attempts at being serious and funny. I was so flattered that I made more attempts. Isn't it strange that I can't entertain anybody I know, but … Continue reading A Phone Call
Finishing “My Life in Middlemarch”
I found this book much more interesting than "Middlemarch", George Eliot's life more exhilarating and gratifying than the characters she created, for example Dorothea, the description of the relationship between Eliot and George Henry Lewes more interesting than most of the relationships described in novels--I mean many novels including "Middlemarch". Although I read it long … Continue reading Finishing “My Life in Middlemarch”
Never Say Never
Whatever I tell, you will never hear. Whatever I think, you will never know. Every time I hear about Woodbridge and its virus cases, I worry about you. I wish you've already left there. No soccer tutoring for the school there; no reading to kids in a straw hat; no photo with the mayor. I … Continue reading Never Say Never
Finishing “In Defense of Women”
"In Defense of Men" should be the more apt title since throughout the book men are described as being defenseless in face of the scheming women in almost everything and especially in marriage. I don't believe a word of it and I can hardly believe that Mencken believed in what he was writing. The book … Continue reading Finishing “In Defense of Women”
Mob Mentality
I never know I have mob mentality. Probably due to my sloth personality and my dislike of physical activities, my mob mentality has never had a chance to manifest itself. Well, not until recently. Finally the pandemic has unleashed my inner mobster, if not in anything else, at least in buying things. I bought so … Continue reading Mob Mentality
Finishing “Choose Your Own Autobiography”
I should stop buying things just because they are on sale. I should, but I won't. This book appears in my audible library and at first I thought it's an easy read. However, I've never watched "How I met Your Mother" and have never watched anything that's mentioned in the book except "Titanic", in which … Continue reading Finishing “Choose Your Own Autobiography”
Dreams
A night of happy dreams-- no nightmare, no phantasmagoria, no mad rush to find a bathroom, not chased by beasts, not falling from stairs-- disrupted and couldn't go back to sleep. You appeared in my dream, a little haggard a little tired, but eyes burning in good spirit. Never any conversations in dreams, why? Probably … Continue reading Dreams
Reading “My Life in Middlemarch”
It's like a book review runs amok, extending from the convention of a mere essay of several pages to an entire book of 293 pages. I bought this book due to its title and the brief description in amazon website. I never really like "Middlemarch", and I am very interested to see how and why … Continue reading Reading “My Life in Middlemarch”
Face Mask
Suddenly people are all wearing masks in stores and even in parks--something that was not considered advisable for more than a month is becoming advisable now. I don't know what's the underlying reasoning for wearing mask now, for not wearing masks before, for the change of direction. The news have been continuously depressing. It's more … Continue reading Face Mask
Apparition
Longer lines outside of the stores; More masked face with wary looks; No more toilet papers, rubbing alcohol, hand sanitizers; A friend talking over the phone-- but he's not interested in conversing. He's not into anybody or anything, not even himself. Enjoying sanctioned pleasures, he feels superior; not enjoying unsanctioned pleasures, he feels even more … Continue reading Apparition
Reading “Slouching Towards Bethlehem”
The title must mean something. Something biblical? I have no idea. I didn't know how it ends up in my audible library, when I bought it, why I bought it. I guess it was on sale during one of the previous holiday seasons and I bought several in one shot. The incomprehensible title, the discount, … Continue reading Reading “Slouching Towards Bethlehem”
Rambling
I've never admitted that I like to read rambling lines, but I think I do after finishing another round of "S & S". Austen rambled happily and one character can talk incessantly for half to one page at a time. I didn't notice this before, probably because I had often jumped forward in previous times. … Continue reading Rambling
Here and There
Wherever I go, I wonder about the likelihood of you being there. The chance is slim, but the dream continues. Not the same locations, not the same time. Like the possibility of seeing another planet full of life, theoretically yes, but practically no. Remember when we were young, we criticized the plot of a movie … Continue reading Here and There
Unfinished Love
Suddenly life seems so fragile, ephemeral. It can end prematurely, accidentally, unexpectedly by a smallest RNA with a protein coat gaudy with red dots sticking out. I've never thought about death before, something too far away to be of significance. Now I think about it, I feel fine. I can accept death better than declining … Continue reading Unfinished Love
“The Plague”
It is said more people are buying the book "The Plague" by Albert Camus due to the coronavirus. I've always thought I would read it, since my college days, but I've never done that. The problem is that I'm stuck with "The Rebel", the topic of which is relevant to my life and endearing to … Continue reading “The Plague”
“In Xanadu”
There's no better time to finish "In Xanadu" than right now, when I am eager to escape to another world, if not physically at least mentally, away from the depressing virus news and the seemingly never ending lockdown. Yet I'm not able to proceed from the 27% mark of the book which I had forced … Continue reading “In Xanadu”
Rumors
There's a rumor that all the Asian grocery stores in the region are going to be shut--dwindling supplies, scared cashier quitting jobs, and probably the stress of keeping up with the cleaning of the aisles and the protection of the staff. Face masks are nowhere to be found for a while and it would be … Continue reading Rumors
You and Me
I imagine you are sick, lying in a hospital bed. I want to come to you, to help you, even if just to lift your spirit. Suddenly sickness and death seems not so far away in the era of coronavirus. Death will make nothingness out of our love. I am not a Buddhist; I can't … Continue reading You and Me
Reading “Ego Is the Enemy”
It should be named "Ego Is Both the Friend and the Enemy". The story of Howard Hughes is very interesting--the worst businessman ever who is famed for losing money in every business adventure he's involved in, lol. Although I don't know much about all these prominent figures, I somehow watched "The Aviator", probably dragged to … Continue reading Reading “Ego Is the Enemy”
How Do I Remember You
How do I remember you? "Let me count the ways" like Elizabeth Browning. Well, I am not an invalid and no poet. We are too ordinary to boast "the depth and breadth and height", too cool to call up the "old grief" or "childhood faith". I remember you with your polite smile and I guess … Continue reading How Do I Remember You
Rereading “S & S”
I've read this book long time ago, but can't remember much about it; I've watched the movie a long time ago, with Ang Lee as the director, but can't remember anything except Hugh Grant as Edward--a great portrayal of the role, exactly as what Jane Austen had portrayed him. Emma Thompson played Elinor, who's a … Continue reading Rereading “S & S”
A Chance Encounter
"Excuse me. Can she steer the wheel so that I can push the van?" A driver said to us, his van dead by the roadside. It's an empty street and no other passersby available. We could be his last resort. I was a little insulted. Do I look like a feeble woman unworthy to be … Continue reading A Chance Encounter
A Nearby Park
A surprise discovery of a nearby park today--no need to drive to the wooded area near Menlo Park Mall, or to the walking trails near Rutgers University. The real distance between this park and where I live is only 1500 feet, but there's no direct road possible. I have to walk the opposite direction, pass … Continue reading A Nearby Park
About Austen
Another round of reading of Austen books. After finishing P&P, Mansfield Park, Persuasion, and Emma, I proceed to S&S. It has become a routine for me every once in a while. I could have used the time to read books about modern women or something more informative. I could and I should. I acknowledge it … Continue reading About Austen
I Wonder
I wonder where you are, in Woodbridge, Red Bank, Edison? I hope you are healthy, in the era of spreading virus and frayed nerves. I hope you never grow old, and in my mind you never will. Woodbridge is in the news, with mounting infection. You don’t live there anymore, I pray. Wherever you are, … Continue reading I Wonder
Am I Positive?
There's a new drive-through virus testing place in Monmouth County opening up. I really want to know if I am one of those people who's positive but without symptoms. Should I go? My friend said that I need to drink a large cup of hot tea to raise my temperature first before I can be … Continue reading Am I Positive?
Love and Hate of Cooking
Cooking has become a part of my daily entertainment since the virus locked down began. I've had a love hate relationship to cooking all my life, starting from the day when I heard my mom complaining about the responsibility of cooking. That was a sunny day and we were about to have lunch. I pointed … Continue reading Love and Hate of Cooking
Reading “The 48 Laws of Power”
I bought this book on sale from Audible and thought that it should be named, "The 48 Laws of Wicked Power". Intelligence is used for manipulation, kindness for popularity, generosity for future advantage, agreeableness for influence. It's a bit too depressing to read. I can just imagine anybody who practices these 48 laws will soon … Continue reading Reading “The 48 Laws of Power”
Rereading “Emma”
The reason I reread "Emma" is because I watched a video of Dr. Cornel West who said that "Emma" is his favorite book among all Austen's books. I've heard this line before, but never really thought about it much until now. I thought "Emma" is not as good as "Pride and Prejudice" in its sarcastic … Continue reading Rereading “Emma”
Romance in the Mind
Somehow it feels that a big jump in the number of virus cases will come soon. The grim foreboding. You don't want to face it, but you feel that you can hear the approaching sound of terror. Today the number of virus cases are climbing a frightening steep curve to 427 in New Jersey. Maybe … Continue reading Romance in the Mind
Uncertainty
Somehow I can’t concentrate today, for unknown reasons. Reading “In Defense Women”, no concentration; reading “Emma”, without going forward for several pages; writing is equally without progress. Feeling my own weakness and lack of improvement, but still dreaming of improvement. Reasoning cannot deter a person’s unreasonable thoughts about herself, me being the best example of … Continue reading Uncertainty
Reading “In Defense of Women”
I select this book purely for its name, the kind of judging a book by its cover, which I confess that I've always practiced even if I hate myself doing that. Mencken is mostly jesting and never being serious. So some of the negative reviews are really taking him too seriously, which he had no … Continue reading Reading “In Defense of Women”
Reading “1876”
I've read "Burr" and so I think reading this sequel is inevitable. Since I am not so familiar with the early history of the States, I don't quite know which characters are fictional and which characters are historical figures. The same for the book "Burr". Is Charles Schermerhorn Schuyler a real historical figure? It really … Continue reading Reading “1876”
Virus, Virus
No rubbing alcohol No hand sanitizer No toilet paper No vinegar "Why vinegar?" I asked. "Boil it and the vinegar steam will disinfect." My friend told me. "Try the God and Silver Flower, the herb of little sticks, bitter flavor. It kills the virus." My friend told me too. Well, this is my virus strategy: … Continue reading Virus, Virus
Love Revisited
The building was still there, dark exterior of glass panels, reflecting the blue sky with floating clouds, its weathered uneven face spoiling the effect intended. Still, its silent sturdiness, its presence is a statement--I'm here to stay. It's where we met, where unspoken messages sent, through burning eyes; where sentiments alluded through unsentimental marketing strategies. … Continue reading Love Revisited
Allergy or Not
I haven't seen any flowers around, though it's the early spring, though the weather turns almost 70 degrees today. Yet I have the allergy. It's a sore throat, mild, not bothering me except when swallowing, not getting better or worse but not going away, for a week by now. At first I didn't know it's … Continue reading Allergy or Not
Love In the Era of Coronavirus
I wonder what you are doing. I hope you won't go to a bar, a meeting, a gathering? I hope you don't get the bug. I know you are susceptible-- last time I saw you, you were having a cold. I felt wretched hearing you sniffling, knowing I couldn't help but wished I could. With … Continue reading Love In the Era of Coronavirus
At the Mall–Empty Due to Virus Scare
Menlo Park Mall was quite empty in the evening, compared to its usual state of bustling liveliness. No doubt it's caused by the fear of the new coronavirus, the figure of which climbed to 23 of confirmed cases in New Jersey, according to the hanging flat screen at the dry cleaner. The children's play area … Continue reading At the Mall–Empty Due to Virus Scare
Remembrance
Melancholy remembrance of a good time, too short, too transient, too weak to stand the cruelty of the passing time; of a bad time, too bad, too persisting, too lasting that even time cannot wipe away. Why did you talk as if you were answering questions? Why the strained look on your face as if … Continue reading Remembrance
Reading “The Art of Writing and the Gifts of Writers”
I chose to listen to this book because I like the "The Screwtape Letters" by C. S. Lewis very much. I like to know what he has to say about writing and writers. However I haven't got any useful tips for my own problems in writing. I guess everybody has his own problem and he … Continue reading Reading “The Art of Writing and the Gifts of Writers”
Flu or Not Flu
There's an ache in my throat, sometime better--usually in the morning, sometime worse--usually at night. I thought it would go away but it has lingered, for three days now. A mild form of the most feared coronavirus that is widespread? Who knows. It's so much like a common flu and it's so mild that I … Continue reading Flu or Not Flu
Awkward
I am not afraid of awkwardness. Very often, awkwardness makes me alert, piques my interest, perks me up for explanation. Yet I hate our awkward conversation that day. "They don't look alike." "Well, if you have met those in between them, you'll understand they belong to one family." "I have another question for you ..." … Continue reading Awkward
Reading “Even The Stars Look Lonesome”
I really enjoy this book. The prose is deliberately poetic, but with none of those affected erudition that's hard to understand. From its deliberate simplicity, wisdom and wit are conveyed. I don't think she meant to be funny but there are many humorous places--the marriage to end all marriages, abstract figures that only their labor … Continue reading Reading “Even The Stars Look Lonesome”
Intrusion
Whenever I start to write something, you emerge as if mocking me that I can't write without you, as if begging me to write something for you first, as if reminding me of the awkward dinner party, for which we sat face to face, for which I racked my mind to find something to say, … Continue reading Intrusion
Reread “Mansfield Park”
It's another round of Jane Austen for me. After finishing "P&P", "Persuasion", I am proceeding to "Mansfield Park" and "Emma". I don't think I would go so far to "S & S" and "Northanger Abbey" and "Lady Susan". I draw a line here. I can't help comparing "Mansfield Park" to "Dreams of Red Chamber" since … Continue reading Reread “Mansfield Park”
It’s You Again
I review your websitewith changes once in a while;I follow your LinkedIn account,short of clicking on “connect”.I watched the YouTube videos ofthe Chamber of Commerce luncheon,and the early spring township parade.I download the PDF file with you in it,standing right next to somebody, smiling,or wearing a straw hat in the local primary schoolwith kids all … Continue reading It’s You Again
A Sloth Girl’s Love
Long ago, a morning or an afternoon,exact time forgotten,I was walking towards the auditorium,with several others,along the narrow hallway, that lined withoffices on one side, and administrative cubicles on the other.I don’t know why I turned around, but I did.There you were, at the end of the hallway,your arm resting on the raised desk of … Continue reading A Sloth Girl’s Love
“The Korean War” by Bruce Cuming
After reading "In the Ruins of Empire", my curiosity of Korean War just gets more intense. There are several books to choose from and I hesitated between this one and "The Coldest Winter", which I have it in my kindle library for quite a while but haven't had the time to read. Listening will be … Continue reading “The Korean War” by Bruce Cuming
At the Dumpster
She was several steps before me and went to the recycle bins first. When she turned back to the big dumpster, we met face to face. I was carrying six bags of garbage—all plastic bags which have been a source of my guilt for quite a while as somebody deserving a scolding by an environmentalist. … Continue reading At the Dumpster
It Must Be You
Lights dim, voices simmering,shadows of people standing up or sitting down.Somebody was staring at methrough blurred space.For real or just imagination?Does it matter?It must be you.Even if it’s not you, I would think it’s you.My heart thinks soand won’t allow otherwise.
The Sloth Girl
I accidently saw a Fran Lebowitz video on youtube, in which she talked about her sloth like habit and her indolence. I feel like sloth too, for example, today. Other than reading books, I am motivated to do nothing at all. There are quite a lot of things to do—laundry, checkbook balancing, vacuuming, shopping for … Continue reading The Sloth Girl
Reread “Persuasion”
The book ruined my weekend. I couldn’t put it down before finishing it and ended up spending Saturday and a large portion of Sunday reading through it.I don't know how many times I've read this book, but reading it again enables me to find something new. The narratives are accurate, persuasive, eloquent, and witty. The … Continue reading Reread “Persuasion”
Reread “Pride and Prejudice”
I liked this book when I was young, but then as years pass by, I can't help noticing the laughable implausibility of the main characters, the summary and unsympathetic rejection of Charlotte's views on marriage which were held by many women due to necessity rather than preference. Thank goodness the society has progressed and "well-educated … Continue reading Reread “Pride and Prejudice”
Reading “In the Ruins of Empire”
I'm glad that I find this book and it is one of the best history books I've ever read. I only wish it is longer, including more of the Chinese Civil War and the Korean War and the Vietnam War, which of course is too much to wish for. I, like most people, only know … Continue reading Reading “In the Ruins of Empire”
Read or Not Read “Quotable Winston Churchill”
I've always wanted to read a book by Churchill or about Churchill, but never done it. The problem is once I start to read a book, I want to finish it even if I don't like it. I am afraid that I won't like a book of Churchill because of his prejudices against people from … Continue reading Read or Not Read “Quotable Winston Churchill”
Little Women
I know this book is an American classic, but I have never got around to read it. Then I binge watched several seasons of "Friends", in which Joey read the book, and Rachel forced a couple of spoilers on him. I thought of reading it at the time, but then I didn't, because I didn't … Continue reading Little Women
A Witty Conservative–About A Book of Churchill’s Quotes
I wish it is longer. My favorite quote, "Success consists of going from failure to failure without loss of enthusiasm." "A woman is as old as she looks, a man is as old as he feels…" Since I've never read any book of his or any book about him, I really don't know much about … Continue reading A Witty Conservative–About A Book of Churchill’s Quotes
Logic or No Logic
Reading Girl Logic: The Genius and the Absurdity by Iliza Shlesinger I especially like the beginning portion of the book where the author pointed out the contradicting expectations the society put on women. More so right now than in the past. I really laughed hard, but I don't want to spoil it for anybody. However … Continue reading Logic or No Logic
Exercise
It's difficult to summon up enough will to exercise every day. Even though I contrived various ways to distract myself during the exercise, so that it doesn't feel as boring as it really is, exercise is something unfavorable akin to taking medicine or going to a dentist. When I was young, my mom loved herbal … Continue reading Exercise
What’s “On the Road”
I didn't think I would like this book, but it turned out I really like it. Still I don't understand all the fuss about this book and all the significance. The same kind of puzzlement can be also applied to the book 1984, and several other dystopian focused works. When I was young, in primary … Continue reading What’s “On the Road”
Climbing
I didn't think I would like this book, "Climbing with Mollie", but after reading it, I do like it. The only regret is that it is too short and I would like it to be longer, with more characters, more climbing stories, more dangerous situations etc. The book really piqued my interest in the life … Continue reading Climbing
What to Write
Thoughts are so scattered, disjointed that it is hard to string them together. I feel that they seem to exist in defiance of being put together into something coherent. I can write notebooks after notebooks of one thought after another, but it seems that I just put them onto a dusty shelf to be stored, … Continue reading What to Write
Vice Island
I bought the book "Island of Vice" from a local grocery store, but haven't got the time to read it. Eventually I had to buy an audio book version so that I can listen to it when driving or exercising. I really like the book even if it doesn't get into the characteristics or personal … Continue reading Vice Island
Don’t Know How To Argue
After finishing the book, "Argumentation: The Study of Effective Reasoning", I still don't know how to argue. The problem is that I enjoy neither winning nor losing, and will not be happy either way. Another problem is that I often sidestep my track or lose my temper or become frustrated along the way. The book … Continue reading Don’t Know How To Argue
What to do?
Reading just cannot be done in the same day with writing. At first I thought I could just order my mind to do the switch, but it just couldn't happen. Once the mind is hooked on reading, it refuses to go to reading, and vice versa. Not only our heart has a will of its … Continue reading What to do?
Don’t Panic
Yesterday, I went to buy sneakers and found a really good pair of Under Armour brand, among the last three pairs on the shelf. One's sized 7.5 and it's on sale. At the checkout, a woman queuing behind me coughed continuously. It's a dry cough with no sound of sniffling nose, which inevitably reminded me … Continue reading Don’t Panic
Agree or Disagree (continued)
It is not just a simple question of standing up for one's own opinion, of having a liberal leaning or a conservative one, of caving in to peer pressure and group mentality. It's not as simple as that. The usual conceptions, easy delineations, well accepted categorizations are as helpful as they are damaging in our … Continue reading Agree or Disagree (continued)
Agree or Disagree
Dinner yesterday at Season 52 with one of my friends. We went early, 4:30PM. The place was half empty. Our conversation veered towards Hmart and Lotte, two competing Korean grocery chains, both located in Edison, one on Route 27 and one on Route 1. I told her that in Hmart I met at least two … Continue reading Agree or Disagree
Cold or Flu
After a week of taking NyQuil for my cold, I can't fall sleep at night anymore without taking any pills. This must be the sign of aging since for many years I don't take any medication for my cold. However now I won't be able to go to sleep at night with all the sniffling … Continue reading Cold or Flu
About “In Xanadu”
It should have five stars, but most people only gave this book four stars. The reason is not difficult to guess--it's a bit heavy on rarely used terms to describe ancient ruins and garments of unfamiliar people. If it is not for the author's exceptional skills in writing, such a lengthy description of Middle East … Continue reading About “In Xanadu”
Old Habit
It took me all the perseverance I can muster to finish the book "The Unabridged Journals of Sylvia Plath". Pages after pages of mundane descriptions. However years of education has trained me to finish whatever I've started, which in light of all the real life events I have experienced so far is the worst habit … Continue reading Old Habit
Zhuangzi and New York
It is said in the bad old days, New York City mafia only charges small businesses 3 to 5% for helping frighten away business competitions so that nobody would open a similar business right across the street from you—3% for doing the job and an extra 2% if bribing officials is involved. That doesn’t sound … Continue reading Zhuangzi and New York
Fireworks
Why is it called 'fireworks', not 'firespectacle' or 'firefestival'? One can't reason with English. Fireworks seems to be a word more appropriate for a stove fire to cook meals or a furnace fire for porcelain—fire is called upon to work to produce products just like the way humans are employed. Of course you can say … Continue reading Fireworks
Specialty Shops
One of the things that have always puzzled me is the existence of the specialty shops for candle, chocolate, mattress, and ice creams. Each of these shops only sell one special item, nothing else, and they can not only survive, but also thrive. I have always thought that in order to attract more customers, one … Continue reading Specialty Shops
Haoyan Do 