Writing is much more preferable to speaking, especially when English is concerned. Let's just take vowels for example. I can't distinguish between "pet","port", "pot", "pat", "part". They all sound the same to me. This means whether you are telling me you own a cat, a harbor, a cooking utensil, or a role in a TV … Continue reading Differences Big And Small
Category: Diary
18% Oxygen
https://twitter.com/Haoyando/status/1351596520274075649 How can one know if a room has less than 18% oxygen? LOL. I try to recall the high school chemistry classes, which happened such a long time ago. Is there an easy way to know the percentage of the oxygen in the air? I mean is there something called oxygen-meter that can check … Continue reading 18% Oxygen
The Favorite Of 2020
I dislike competitions and strive to avoid them as best as I can, because competitions always make me feel dreadful. If I lose, I feel bad; If I win, I feel bad for people who haven't won, and simultaneously I also can't help wondering if the sense of triumph is shallow, short-lived, giving me the … Continue reading The Favorite Of 2020
Thoughts New And Old
Growing up, I've never heard any of my neighbors having any trouble with the police. Of course that's very much a half rural, almost un-industrialized environment where almost everybody knows everybody else. Even if you don't know that particular person, you know somebody who knows him. The unemployment rate is very high among young people … Continue reading Thoughts New And Old
Breach Of Resolution
Only two weeks into 2021, let me count all the breaches of my new year's resolutions. I know it is a little too soon, isn't it? What can I do? #1 breach: I won't watch any show about cooking or eating in 2021. That was my resolution, but in the past two weeks, I've watched … Continue reading Breach Of Resolution
No Exercise
I've tried every possible way to make at home exercise more pleasant, or rather less painful, but to no avail. I still haven't exercised despite trying to get myself to do it the entire week. DVD, online videos, Fitness Marshall series, book reading while throwing limbs back and forth, making an exercise plan, imagining good … Continue reading No Exercise
Without Concentration
No concentration today. I have a lot to do, but my mind just seems not interested in the goal anymore. Probably because yesterday I wrote something about politics, and I did it in the mildest way possible, but still somehow I feel somebody is annoyed at my post. However I don't want to change just … Continue reading Without Concentration
Predictions
The TV show "Alpha House"(of eight years ago) has one episode about the chaotic scenes after an overenthusiastic republican senator pulls out a gun to assert her rights to bear firearms in the hallway of the Capital. She is a beauty with straight blonde hair, sweet smile and a true killer attitude. The alarm is … Continue reading Predictions
Throwing Away
I need to start throwing away things because there are just too much stuff. I actually made a rule in 2019 that if I buy one item, I will make sure to throw away one item. Of course this is a rule that has no teeth and no claw to help me adjust my behavior. … Continue reading Throwing Away
New Year’s Resolutions
Avoid carbohydrate as much as possible. I know this is impossible to achieve. I've been trying to do this for years, only succeeding in making carbohydrate more appealing to me. It's with great self restraint that rivals the most lauded stoic figure in history that I stopped myself today from buying sticky rice snacks at … Continue reading New Year’s Resolutions
Interview Before Christmas
My friend is going to have a Zoom interview before Christmas and she has been dreading the terrifying moment for a week now. Interviews are usually hard to deal with. Interviews are especially hard to deal with for introverts, for people who tend to be nervous and diffident, for women above a certain age. If … Continue reading Interview Before Christmas
Let It Snow
It's really not too bad, only a foot of snow. In certain parts of nearby states like New York and Connecticut, it can be two feet. One would think global warming has made snow obsolete for the latitude and the altitude we are in. For the past three years, it seems true. We've had no … Continue reading Let It Snow
Christmas Lights
For years, we have been practicing this holiday routine of driving in the surrounding neighborhoods in search of the house with the best Christmas lights. In order to do that, you have to have several friends in one car, driving around to comment, evaluate, praise the arrangement, the variation, the scale of the lights on … Continue reading Christmas Lights
Holiday Shopping
If something is oversized, you want to think it over. That's the first rule for holiday shopping. It's a two pound ball in a deep red dress, smiling at me and begging me to take it. So my heart takes a little leap and I give in. A two pound pomegranate reminds me of my … Continue reading Holiday Shopping
Life Goes On
You scream, you curse, you throw items to the wall--make sure they are non-valuable low-impact items so that you don't feel bad for the item or the wall later on. You send "rescue me" messages to others to vent your anger. You think about existential questions like why you were born, why you live. You … Continue reading Life Goes On
Monkey’s View On Equality
It is said that when scientists gave one monkey a grape in exchange for its pebble, and gave the second monkey a slice of cucumber for its pebble, it caused a little row. For monkeys, grapes taste better than cucumber slices. The second monkey, when observing the better deal the first monkey received, rebelled immediately … Continue reading Monkey’s View On Equality
Drama In Asian Restaurant
https://twitter.com/Haoyando/status/1336750990666706947 This picture doesn't do justice to the cute restaurant in this local strip mall. It was a little snowy outside and I was driving past it to go to the Kam Man grocery store to buy lunch. The tents used to look much better during the summer months, more shiny, more in shape, certainly … Continue reading Drama In Asian Restaurant
Weekday Outburst
Two women meet in the grocery store. They are very happy to see each other and it looks like they haven't seen each other for a while, glad to accidentally meet in one of the refrigerator aisles. They talk and talk. At the checkout, one woman says loudly, “It’s the doom’s day. We are too … Continue reading Weekday Outburst
How To Give Delicate Advice
"What do you think?" or "What will you do if it were you?" You are pressed to say something on a delicate situation, for which you'd rather have no opinion or pretend not to have an opinion. The situation becomes more dire when it concerns your friend's love life. If you don't give an answer, … Continue reading How To Give Delicate Advice
Misconception And Misinterpretation
I am not surprised that there are so much disinformation, conspiracy theories, frauds, fraudulent claims of fraud right now. The reason is that as an immigrant, I am used to misconceptions and misinterpretations for years. The English we had learned in classroom is not the English people really use here; The stories of immigrants we … Continue reading Misconception And Misinterpretation
The First Try
Someone said, "The first experience can never be repeated. The first love, the first sunrise…" and I agreed immediately, being good-natured as I am, afraid of offending by disagreement, eager to smooth things over at the expense of self expression. However, I don't agree with such an overt admiration for the "first". There are just … Continue reading The First Try
A Road Trip
If your friend suggests a road trip together during the holiday season to visit another friend in a different state, please be strong and deny it right away despite the fact that you heart is tinkling with the desire for some activities. You have to be firm and don't betray any sign of hesitation or … Continue reading A Road Trip
Dreary Topic And Dreary Day
I really don't want to write this since I have no interest in politics. I uphold the long Asian tradition--staying away from politics and governments as much as we can, even to our own disadvantage. However I have to write this to get it off my chest. There's no better time of doing this than … Continue reading Dreary Topic And Dreary Day
Thankful Reflections
I think we should all be thankful to others this year. However that's not what I want to talk about here, which is being thankful to ourselves. Many of us don't feel that we are being appreciated enough. Part of the reason is that we don't thank ourselves enough. Worse, some of us even hate … Continue reading Thankful Reflections
To Go Or Not To Go
Please don't ask me whether we should go shopping on black Friday. I won't answer that question. If you have already made up your mind of going or not going, do not plague your friends with your soliciting tone, "what do you think? To go or not to go?" I know a couple who would … Continue reading To Go Or Not To Go
Holiday Evolution
Holiday cooking is a happy hazard, meaning it is never perfect and something a little hazardous is bound to happen to twist the holiday cheers. It is almost an old tired tune to repeat if I say turkey was only cooked once in the past ten years and there are several reasons for it. First … Continue reading Holiday Evolution
Happy And Happier
One thing good about the holiday season is that one feels happy about one's own grumpiness. All the stress of experiencing cheerful things, the boredom of shopping trips, the mental anxiety of trying to say something less like holiday cliches can add up and make anybody grumpy. But we tell ourselves, "it's a holiday. We … Continue reading Happy And Happier
Remember Or Not
My friend said his father is getting forgetful, but his father's doctor told them that his cognitive ability is at the top 5% of his age group. The family should be celebrating rather than worrying about his mental state. So I asked how the doctor made the judgement call and my friend said the doctor … Continue reading Remember Or Not
The Happy Surprises
I woke up this morning, surprised that I had a good sleep last night. Insomnia gone, headache nonexistent. Sometimes happiness descends from nowhere. I almost felt that I don't deserve it. Have you ever experienced the moment when your friend did or said something that happily surprised you? I have this friend who's so gentle … Continue reading The Happy Surprises
To Admire A Place
The best way to admire a place is from a distance. Once you live there, it's a very different story. I know a couple who admired a house in South Brunswick township for a year when it was being built--that was years ago when many new development were happening there--and as soon as it came … Continue reading To Admire A Place
How To Fight The Winter Blue
I guess this is all caused by the fact that the sun set at 4:40PM and darkness swallows several hours of an afternoon. The crisp autumn air and the mild temperature cannot save the day when daylight shrinks so much. When you have the winter blue, just think about those people who live closer than … Continue reading How To Fight The Winter Blue
When I Look At This
Last night I stared at this picture, but no sleepiness comes. By the way I checked the copyright of this picture, for which the painter Redon died in 1919, more than 100 years ago and I guess we can post the image just as freely as we can with Van Gogh. I've never had a … Continue reading When I Look At This
Today’s Mishaps
Insomnia is overlooked by people. Nobody considers it as a sickness but it is. It has almost no remedy and people who suffer from it have a nightly dread of going to bed. Although I failed with valerian roots, I am thinking of trying chamomile next. Will meditation work? https://www.instagram.com/p/CHb7tGSH8nP/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link Thinking about friendships... https://www.instagram.com/p/CHbv-kGngsA I … Continue reading Today’s Mishaps
Let Me Sleep
I am so afraid of my insomnia that I started to dream of not sleeping last night. I dreamed of myself walking about in dread of going to bed to lie there without feeling sleepy. My grandma appeared in my dream too telling me that if I am not as headstrong as I have always … Continue reading Let Me Sleep
Thoughts At The End Of The Day
Try not to reflect. Whenever I do reflect, I find a lot to regret about. This is why I never like to reflect or meditate or look back. The past is like an endless list of embarrassing moments, unfulfilled desires, flawed decisions. Even if those things I did well, I can see that I could … Continue reading Thoughts At The End Of The Day
Capacity And Incapacity
I haven't calculated anything for ages. Even the monthly budget and expenses are done by the spreadsheet automatically. Suddenly I find myself unable to calculate numbers. Actually very easy numbers. If 87% is reporting in Nevada, Biden has 627,104, Trump has 606,967 votes. What's the total number of Nevada votes and the remaining uncounted votes? … Continue reading Capacity And Incapacity
Comprehend A Little Bit More
Although I didn't watch it on Tuesday night, I spent many hours watching last night, throwing aside other things I need to do. I really don't understand why many swing states can't finish counting their votes while all the non-swing states have no trouble at all to finish the counting on election night--except Alaska. These … Continue reading Comprehend A Little Bit More
Comprehend The Incomprehensible
The electoral college is as as mysterious as American football to me. I can understand neither. It's rules, its operations, its strategies--all mystery. I guess many immigrants are like me because the rest of the world don't have the electoral college system except in those rare places and on rare occasions. The same happens to … Continue reading Comprehend The Incomprehensible
I Am Not Going To Watch Tonight
I used to watch TV for hours and hours on election night. What a crash course on American politics. Pundits, commentators, reporters all come out to analyze the past, the present, the exit polls, the historical similarities and differences with past elections. Reagan and Nixon are mentioned very often, which I don't know why. How … Continue reading I Am Not Going To Watch Tonight
Computer Puns
I only knew cat lovers love to conjure up puns for their purr-fect pets, but I didn't know computers have so many pun-able words too. I only just discover this. One can never underestimate one's ignorance. It's not that I didn't know these words; I just never connected them with puns. They are hiding in … Continue reading Computer Puns
Halloween: Lost And Not Found
This happens all the time--lost at home and never to be found. My socks are continuing disappearing after every wash and they don't usually walk away in pairs. One of the pair walks away and what can I do with the remaining one sock? My Good Grips peeler is nowhere to be found yesterday. I … Continue reading Halloween: Lost And Not Found
“Hallowe’en Party” And The Change Of Taste
I thought I was going to read Agatha Christie's "Hallowe'en Party" today, but I just can't bring myself to read it. I feel that I am trying to squeeze myself into the jeans I used to wear when I was a teenager. Not that I wore jeans in those days. I was so skinny then … Continue reading “Hallowe’en Party” And The Change Of Taste
Scary Things I’ve Encountered
I really haven't encountered scary things in my life, and now I feel that my life is strangely inadequate in this aspect. Probably many people are like me in this way, and probably this is why many people like Halloween, just to be scared once a year, to have the experience of fear and the … Continue reading Scary Things I’ve Encountered
Binge Watching Scary Movies
Years ago in Pittsburgh, my friends liked to go to the popular local Halloween parade around this time. Often they brought back descriptions of what they saw--for example someone who painted his body with paints with blood dripping from a fake wound. I don't believe that's body paint. Since it is cold, like today, around … Continue reading Binge Watching Scary Movies
Feeling Today’s Right Yesterday’s Wrong
I often feel today's right yesterday's wrong. I don't know why. It's strange that it is rarely the other way around, although let's be fair each has equal claim to be correct. Well, how about I grow wiser as time passes by, which obviously benefits today more than yesterday? That's possible only to a certain … Continue reading Feeling Today’s Right Yesterday’s Wrong
Struggle With Broth
Last weekend, I had to struggle with the question--what broth to use--all because the local Trader Joe's runs out of the low sodium organic chicken broth. This Trader Joe's on Route One in the township of North Brunswick is too small, probably only three thousand square feet, which as a store is not much at … Continue reading Struggle With Broth
That’s No Joke
"Alexa, tell me a joke?"Silence. My Kindle Fire is hitting a mini glitch. "Alexa, hello.""It's Sarcasm Awareness Month, and I say 'hi'.""Alexa, can you tell me a joke?""Why do zombies make such excellent golfers? They really know their way around a corpse.""I can write better jokes than that." I say to my friend immodestly. "Really? … Continue reading That’s No Joke
Good And Bad On Standing Up
I can't remember who told me this--a person has to stand up or walk around for at least four hours a day. If not, the bones will not be healthy and the body will be in decline. Well, if the decline is impossible to stop, at least the four hour rule will help slow it … Continue reading Good And Bad On Standing Up
Friendly Advice
I got a friendly advice today when N told me to sanitize the second hand book I ordered from betterworldbooks.com in case there are remnants of Covid19 clinging to the pages ready to jump on anybody who touches it and send the person to fever, ventilator, or even an early grave. "You know the virus … Continue reading Friendly Advice
Life’s Discrepancies
Years ago one of my acquaintances told me this. At the time, I didn't really think about the merit or the moral of the story. I should have, but I didn't. I am not completely impervious to learning, but I pick up hints or wisdom very slowly. Now I can't even remember it was a … Continue reading Life’s Discrepancies
Things I Don’t Want To Do
Things I don't want to do, like weekly chores, suddenly don't seem to be so bad when I am stuck, blocked, not able to proceed for one more line. At such a moment, my self doubt is everywhere, sitting on this very chair, filling up the four corners of the room, clinging up to the … Continue reading Things I Don’t Want To Do
Backyard Farming
I call them backyard farmers, but they probably don't agree with me. It's popular among Asian immigrants in New Jersey to engage in backyard farming every year. I even know a couple who don't live in a house and don't have a backyard to grow their produce. What do they do? They rent a plot … Continue reading Backyard Farming
When You Don’t Have An Appetite
I don't have an appetite today and I don't know why. Is it because of the melatonin pills I've taken these past two weeks for my insomnia? It could be. It is said online that melatonin is a naturally occurring hormone in our body and taking a little won't have any side effect on the … Continue reading When You Don’t Have An Appetite
Binge Watching
Just binge watched "Billions" for eight episodes on showtime from Amazon, starting last night. Now I am feeling exhausted, hungry, eyes hurt, whole body ache. It's a wonderful show no doubt--the plot is quick paced, the acting quite convincing, the actors too handsome, the actresses too beautiful, the human relationships full of twists and barely … Continue reading Binge Watching
Word Confusion
Some words are created to communicate, while others just to confuse. I thought I read "ruminative" on an article about what Fran Lebowitz has to say about her current state of staying at home, but it is actually "remunerative". I don't know about native speakers, but as a person learning English as a second language, … Continue reading Word Confusion
Ghost Arriving Before Halloween
I am talking with two friends in a cafe. One of them asks me to look at a picture on his laptop. I lean over and stare at the screen. Minutes later, when our attentions come back to the hot tea arriving at our table, we notice the other friend's absence. At first we think … Continue reading Ghost Arriving Before Halloween
The Thrill And Peril Of Imitation
Living in the Asian community in New Jersey, one can't help learning stories about engineers and scientists. One of these widely circulated stories is this: A newcomer in one of the research institutions, where people are madly nerdy and competitive, finds that everybody in the department is sharpening their pencils with a knife. Everybody has … Continue reading The Thrill And Peril Of Imitation
Insomnia vs. Somnia
"Somnia" is not a word; "insomnia" is. That's just English. Non-native speakers (like me) beware. There are as many exceptions to the rules as those that follow the rules. Not only many words starting with "in" don't have corresponding antonyms that lose the prefix "in", but also some "in" and non-"in" pairs completely disregard the … Continue reading Insomnia vs. Somnia
Things I Want To Do But Can’t
Such a beautiful day today that one just wants to go out and walk about, but instead one's stuck here staring at the computer screen. Sunny, a few clouds floating decoratively, 72 degrees, humidity not too high to mess up the hair and not too low to dry up the skin. There are only ten … Continue reading Things I Want To Do But Can’t
Event Before Election
"Have you registered to vote?" The lady behind the thick plate of glass asked. "No." I answered."Why do you answer for her? I am asking her?" The lady said, pointing to my friend W. I translated for W and W shook her head. So I said "No" across the glass barrier again."Do you want to … Continue reading Event Before Election
Can’t Live With Or Without Impulse
I hate impulses, especially impulse purchase. I went to Trader Joe's today and bought a big bunch of things. Completely over my budget. Do I really need the "Tomato Basil Hummus"? No, but it is so good that I can finish the whole thing before I start my dinner. Do I really need the one … Continue reading Can’t Live With Or Without Impulse
Things Coming To Mind While Driving
I've had four consecutive days of insomnia, which was barely controlled by taking cold medicine even if I don't have a cold. Knock on the wood. I will make sure I don't have cold or flu this coming winter since any cold symptom is a suspect for the more serious COVID-19. It's ten hours ago … Continue reading Things Coming To Mind While Driving
Courage Misunderstood
My friend Y once told me that he had traveled to Russia and Ukraine to run his small business of selling household goods. That in itself is not terribly uncommon since I heard of Asians businessmen carrying goods to Russia to sell and carrying Russian specialties back. So I asked him if he's afraid since … Continue reading Courage Misunderstood
A Mild Heartbreak
I am not really nursing a broken heart, but I am trying to use the word "heart" and "break" in the title, like Shaw's "Hearbreak House" or Wallace's essay on a tennis star who broke his heart--I can't remember the exact title or the star's name. Too lazy to look it up. My heartbreak is … Continue reading A Mild Heartbreak
At The Store
She stared at the money I handed over as if she wanted to say something, so I said, "No changes. I don't want any change." She said, "All right. But do you have 80 cents?" I hesitated and then pretended to look into the inner crease of my wallet, which held coins more than a … Continue reading At The Store
What Does It Mean?
What does the word "russet" mean? Also words like "orb", "presage", "quaff", "brogue", "dirigible", "druid", "patisserie"? I have no idea. Some of them I've already looked up at least several times, but still I forget what the meaning. It must be my disappointing memory, but that's another story for another day. It sounds rather exhausting … Continue reading What Does It Mean?
Throw Caution To The Wind
I wish I can throw caution to the wind, but I can't. Today I read this piece of news that more than half of the new Cov-19 cases are from people who have gone to restaurant. One minute you are enjoying your food and the next thing you know you come down with all the … Continue reading Throw Caution To The Wind
Who’s Afraid Of Ghosts
Some differences are in our head, and what's in our head are even more difficult to change than visible and perceptible aspects of differences like accent and manners etc. Not that I can change my accent or my manners. I can't. However I know it's there and I've developed a way to deal with it. … Continue reading Who’s Afraid Of Ghosts
Different Body
I've heard similar incidents happen again and again here in the Asian community in New Jersey. This is one story I heard about five years ago. One manager in a big drug company suddenly fainted. He is middle-aged and held a lower level management position, which is reachable by Asians before hitting the usual bamboo … Continue reading Different Body
Visible And Invisible Masks
Our invisible social masks are not enough. Now we have to wear visible masks, which have more advantages than merely shielding our breath and preventing the spread of virus--under the cover of a mask, we can do with a lot less makeup or even no makeup. How much time we waste every day on beautifying … Continue reading Visible And Invisible Masks
Fragmented
Regular strawberry or organic strawberry? They taste the same. If there's any difference, it must be due to the power of imagination. Regular soy milk or organic soy milk? I don't understand. Can genetically modified soy be considered organic? Are all the soy crops genetically modified? And all the corns? Should I make parsley dumpling, … Continue reading Fragmented
Nothing And Everything
Have you ever had that feeling of dread that when you open your refrigerator, which is filled up nicely, but can't find anything to eat? Soy milk--I just drank it for the breakfast. Tomato soup--I had it yesterday. Vietnamese pizza with rice wrap underneath--I tried it twice already within 48 hours. Bean curd--too bland. My … Continue reading Nothing And Everything
Lost In Translation
No matter how I explained, he just wouldn't understand. Or probably it's just his pretensions which offer him his rights to insist on his own idea. Show your stubbornness long enough and other people would mistake that for your strength. What a wish. Go your own way; enjoy your freedom of making your own mistakes … Continue reading Lost In Translation
Old News and New News
I've often seen the phrase "old news", but never seen the phrase "new news", which is obviously considered as redundancy, pleonasm, tautology or whatever other pedantic words available. However in the age of frantic pace of various media, there should be a phrase "new news" to distinguish the news within two or three hours, from … Continue reading Old News and New News
Fall Is My Favorite Season
When I first came to America, I was surprised to learn that autumn is commonly called "fall" here, probably due to the falling leaves. The autumn foliage of red and yellow and orange in Pennsylvania is spectacular. Nothing characterizes the autumn better than the word "fall" of these beautiful leaves in such a scale. Though … Continue reading Fall Is My Favorite Season
The Year Of Change
I ordered the book "The Barbarians Are Coming", borrowed the book "Pangs Of Love" from Archive.org, and are planning to proceed to Chang-rae Lee's books sometime later. I haven't read any books by Asian American authors for a long time, all because of "Joy Luck Club". It's not that I don't like the book. On … Continue reading The Year Of Change
Likes And Dislikes
I like that here when it is quiet it is truly quiet. Probably this is unachievable in New York City, but in New Jersey it is common. Still it is not as quiet as in the rural area in the nearby state. That's dead quiet. At night, one can hear the howling of coyotes from … Continue reading Likes And Dislikes