I know M who is prone to traffic accidents. Not big ones, usually small incidents like scratching somebody's bumper or rear ending the car before him at a red light. Mostly his own fault. He takes it in a strange fatalistic way as if it is something that befalls on him, rather than something caused … Continue reading Recipe For Mishaps →

George Orwell's essays often point out our foibles and failings without pessimism or cynicism or anger. I love his optimism and his fighting spirit. Often I feel that each of his essays can be extended into a book, and a lot of nuances and details can be elaborated even further. I wish Audible can make … Continue reading Quotes Of The Day #5 →

Whether April Fool's day originated in England, France, or Netherlands, it is still in dispute, however in modern times, it has spread throughout the world. For many years, playing practical jokes on this particular day has become popular in Asian countries too, which is at least partially fueled by government officials who want to put … Continue reading April Fool Unfooled →

My true self is very interested in useless activities, like endless chatting, binge watching, reading aimlessly online, and indulging in a fantasized nostalgia. If I practice being myself, I will never get anything done. My healthy existence is dependent on me staying away from my true self. If I were a bird, I would be … Continue reading “Being Yourself” vs. “Not Being Yourself” →

I don't know if this should be called anniversary. I've always had the impression, probably a wrong one, that the word is used to commemorate something wonderful rather than something sickly and virus related. Still, by definition, it is an anniversary. It has been one year already since New Jersey started its first lockdown in … Continue reading Anniversary →

My Friend: Do you think I should get a gun? Me: No, you shouldn't. You are too emotional to own a gun. I don't want to see you shoot somebody and become a part of Central Jersey news. "Tragedy in Asian community." I can almost see the headline. My Friend: There are a lot of … Continue reading You Never Listen →

Every year, Edison Township has contestants for the Scripps National Spelling Bee, and their cute pictures would be published in the local newspaper. Last year, even if it was cancelled due to the pandemic, an online substitute contest was won by an eighth grader from Edison, Navneeth Murali, who spelled the word “Karoshthi” correctly. I … Continue reading Bee Positive, Bee Yourself →

I know M whose exercise routine is too intense for her body type, to the point that it's almost self damaging. Needless to say, after years of "abuse", her body caves in. Now she has damaged her knees, which require physical therapy. I warned her many times in the past ten years, but she wouldn't … Continue reading March Madness–Everybody Is A Little Mad →

I didn't have time to watch the Oprah interview of Meghan & Harry, but I caught something last night from a channel in Southeast Asia. The cultural differences demonstrated in the comments from the program hosts are so blatant that I just couldn't help laughing. I won't say which channel it is since I don't … Continue reading Cultural Difference On TV →

I have this long running unofficial "feud" with two assistants in the local Barnes & Noble. Once they even sent a temp they hired--a college student of Asian descent--to ask me "can I help you", the polite greeting with the purpose of driving me away from a display table of newest paperbacks. I guess I … Continue reading Love As A Way To Live Our Lives →

That's me, trying to get to the store to buy the carrot cake dessert hummus--the best healthy food invention in my opinion-- but made a wrong turn. And you know if you make a wrong turn in a town like Edison, it will take you twenty minutes to correct it. That's just the nature of … Continue reading Saturday Morning Idiot →

"What are you doing? Drinking tea from a bowl? That's ... unbelievable." "What are you doing? You eat your ice cream with hot tea?" This was many years ago when I was a graduate student. I had two roommates. Since I can't give away too many details, let's just say one is from South Asia … Continue reading Tea For Positivi-Tea →

M gets most of the information about his family member from the social media. M's son and his girlfriend work in a city several hundred miles away from here. For some reasons, M and his wife had some unpleasant verbal exchange with their son a while ago. The next thing they knew, the relationship descended … Continue reading Social Media Family →

Every time I go to Menlo Park Mall, I would visit my favorite item, to see, to touch, to feel its perfection. It's hanging proudly in Nordstrom, an expensive store. A silk long sleeved pajamas with matching silk pants, which I can't afford. It's been there for quite a while, but last weekend, it's gone. … Continue reading From The Humble Worms →

When the lockdown first started in March, last year, there's a big rush to buy rice. I thought it's a little ridiculous, but I still went out and came back with more supply of rice that could be consumed in one year--I didn't want to see myself left out from the madness. And the Asian … Continue reading Stories Of Rice →

Remember Hurricane Sandy eight and half years ago? It happened at the end of October. As a typical procrastinator, I'm usually very busy in the last several days of the month. A lot of things were due and I was in half panic mode. Guess what, Sandy hit us hard and our electricity was knocked … Continue reading A Procrastinator →

H went for an interview to get a contractor job and came back a little distraught. It's a disaster, according to him. I helped him prepare--revising his resume and brushing up his English etc. Well, English is not his first language and the interview is rather important to him. He needed all the help he … Continue reading Over-Preparation →

My friend M called last night from the West Coast that she was being contact traced and had to go for a virus test. It's all because one business meeting she had, during which they didn't wear mask and their talk was very long. M has been very careful indeed, but still things happen. Now … Continue reading She Will Survive →

When Jun Choi was running his mayoral campaign for Edison, New Jersey in 2005, many Asians I knew didn't vote for him, not because they had anything against his candidacy, but rather due to the fact that they were content with the way things were and saw no need to replace the incumbent. That's exactly … Continue reading Politics In Small Town →

Let's just call him Wai, which is not his real name, and I've changed several details so that nobody can recognize him even if they read this blog. However the story is true. I've always felt that at least half of my friends are mad, and I think my friends are probably thinking everybody else … Continue reading My Unbelievable Friend →

of Taiwan died last week and I just want to tell his story since he is a quirky character. However I have to start with Arjin and her husband, who run a small cell phone store and travel agency in one of the strip malls in Edison. I don't know why Arjin and her husband … Continue reading The God Of Gamblers →

She was very young, in her twenties, walking right in front of me, pushing a shopping cart full of daily essentials. Suddenly she turned around, looking past me, and said, "Where are you?" I looked around likewise and saw her husband, loitering in a little distance, with two kids in tow of about four years … Continue reading Love Is A Mess →

These are some of the weird things I witness during the winter. People wear sandals barefooted. I know it is indoors, but still it is winter. Now it almost becomes a trend to be barefooted. Too bad my feet are not pretty and I tend to hide them in socks and shoes. People eat ice … Continue reading Weird Winter →

Maahi is not his real name. Since I am not sure whether he desires this kind of publicity, I have to change his name to tell his story. He's a graduate of Indian Institute Of Technology, and he loves cars. He came to America twenty-five years ago, attending graduate school in New Jersey and intending … Continue reading The Owner Of “Maahi Repair” →

Women give men chocolate as gift on Valentine's day in Japan. It's a tradition since the end of the WWII, when a chocolate company tried to market chocolate to Japanese people. In those days both chocolate and Valentine's Day were something new in Japan--rarely anybody ate chocolate or observed Valentine's day. The chocolate shops were … Continue reading Alternative Valentine’s Day Tradition →

https://twitter.com/Haoyando/status/1358464097520660482 No appetite;no wish to cook,but it's time to eat.What a chore.How about a hotpot?Food cooked without me cooking;one dish with a little bit of everything.

https://twitter.com/Haoyando/status/1358166073791705088 Suddenly everyone is double masked.Me too.Dragon Fruit is $6.88 a piece.Robbery.Bought a book from Betterworldbooks.com with the library label still attached.LOL.Why are these people at the car wash?Don't they know another snow storm is coming tomorrow?Why is this white haired eighty-year-old out and driving today?The road is jammed; half the right lane is ice;the … Continue reading Saturday’s Little Woes →

https://twitter.com/Haoyando/status/1357101310852612097 I even forgot today is Wednesday. Am I losing my mind? The book is falling apart with pages breaking away one by one. A little touch of my finger, a page is off from the binding edge. Also my failed sweet rice chicken dish is waiting for me (in its most unappetizing way) from … Continue reading Wednesday, Not Tuesday →

Shoveling snow is a depressing job. And it might cause some unexpected effects, like weird thoughts rushing into one's mind. I really thought about this when shoveling snow: In heaven, when people first meet, the question they ask each other will not be "what's your job" or "where are you from", but rather "how did … Continue reading I Can’t Believe This →

Spend the whole morning digging out. Just ten miles south of Edison, there's no snow, only rain. How unfair. However New York City is getting more than 2 feet of snow, I heard. So can't complain. https://twitter.com/Haoyando/status/1356677015286464513

It's rumored that Shanzu was a little orphaned girl, living among the urban poor in the capital city of Chang'an during Tang Dynasty, which was about 1400 years ago. It seemed that fate had doomed her in the beginning of her life's journey. What prospect could she have other than being an illiterate servant girl, … Continue reading The Chef And The Snow Storm →

Does each person really make about 35,000 choices every day? I heard it several times, but it is a little hard to believe. This morning, the temperature was in teens--this is in Fahrenheit, not in Celsius, which usually takes quite a while for an immigrant to get used to. Even the facial wipes in my … Continue reading The Salt Truck, The Overflowing Cart, And 35,000 Choices →

I know several people who are so organized that they know exactly what they did ten years ago today and they know exactly what they are going to do ten years later today. I am not exaggerating. If you ask L what she did ten years ago today, she would pull out one little booklet … Continue reading Organize Vs. Disorganize →

The Super Bowl and Lunar New Year usually happen within ten days of each other, but they never fall on the same day. One is decided by somebody in NFL, and the other is decided by the moon or some other celestial powers. The two don't communicate with each other when the dates are determined, … Continue reading Super Bowl And Lunar New Year →

What will happen when negotiations fail? I mean in our life, in politics, in a relationship. The consequence of failed negotiations has been played out live from Fiji, an archipelago in South Pacific with less than one million residents. Whether the events in Fuji has implications for other countries or regions, I don't really know. … Continue reading Lost In Paradise →

A while ago, K told me that she had to move because her neighbor was too loud. Now she lives somewhere at a top floor apartment, in a manicured little gated community, in a township for which she's one of few Asians. Of course it must be close to a major transportation hub--either NJ transit … Continue reading The Difference →

Writing is much more preferable to speaking, especially when English is concerned. Let's just take vowels for example. I can't distinguish between "pet","port", "pot", "pat", "part". They all sound the same to me. This means whether you are telling me you own a cat, a harbor, a cooking utensil, or a role in a TV … Continue reading Differences Big And Small →

https://twitter.com/Haoyando/status/1351596520274075649 How can one know if a room has less than 18% oxygen? LOL. I try to recall the high school chemistry classes, which happened such a long time ago. Is there an easy way to know the percentage of the oxygen in the air? I mean is there something called oxygen-meter that can check … Continue reading 18% Oxygen →

I dislike competitions and strive to avoid them as best as I can, because competitions always make me feel dreadful. If I lose, I feel bad; If I win, I feel bad for people who haven't won, and simultaneously I also can't help wondering if the sense of triumph is shallow, short-lived, giving me the … Continue reading The Favorite Of 2020 →

Growing up, I've never heard any of my neighbors having any trouble with the police. Of course that's very much a half rural, almost un-industrialized environment where almost everybody knows everybody else. Even if you don't know that particular person, you know somebody who knows him. The unemployment rate is very high among young people … Continue reading Thoughts New And Old →

Only two weeks into 2021, let me count all the breaches of my new year's resolutions. I know it is a little too soon, isn't it? What can I do? #1 breach: I won't watch any show about cooking or eating in 2021. That was my resolution, but in the past two weeks, I've watched … Continue reading Breach Of Resolution →

I've tried every possible way to make at home exercise more pleasant, or rather less painful, but to no avail. I still haven't exercised despite trying to get myself to do it the entire week. DVD, online videos, Fitness Marshall series, book reading while throwing limbs back and forth, making an exercise plan, imagining good … Continue reading No Exercise →

No concentration today. I have a lot to do, but my mind just seems not interested in the goal anymore. Probably because yesterday I wrote something about politics, and I did it in the mildest way possible, but still somehow I feel somebody is annoyed at my post. However I don't want to change just … Continue reading Without Concentration →

The TV show "Alpha House"(of eight years ago) has one episode about the chaotic scenes after an overenthusiastic republican senator pulls out a gun to assert her rights to bear firearms in the hallway of the Capital. She is a beauty with straight blonde hair, sweet smile and a true killer attitude. The alarm is … Continue reading Predictions →

I need to start throwing away things because there are just too much stuff. I actually made a rule in 2019 that if I buy one item, I will make sure to throw away one item. Of course this is a rule that has no teeth and no claw to help me adjust my behavior. … Continue reading Throwing Away →

My friend is going to have a Zoom interview before Christmas and she has been dreading the terrifying moment for a week now. Interviews are usually hard to deal with. Interviews are especially hard to deal with for introverts, for people who tend to be nervous and diffident, for women above a certain age. If … Continue reading Interview Before Christmas →

It's really not too bad, only a foot of snow. In certain parts of nearby states like New York and Connecticut, it can be two feet. One would think global warming has made snow obsolete for the latitude and the altitude we are in. For the past three years, it seems true. We've had no … Continue reading Let It Snow →

For years, we have been practicing this holiday routine of driving in the surrounding neighborhoods in search of the house with the best Christmas lights. In order to do that, you have to have several friends in one car, driving around to comment, evaluate, praise the arrangement, the variation, the scale of the lights on … Continue reading Christmas Lights →

If something is oversized, you want to think it over. That's the first rule for holiday shopping. It's a two pound ball in a deep red dress, smiling at me and begging me to take it. So my heart takes a little leap and I give in. A two pound pomegranate reminds me of my … Continue reading Holiday Shopping →

You scream, you curse, you throw items to the wall--make sure they are non-valuable low-impact items so that you don't feel bad for the item or the wall later on. You send "rescue me" messages to others to vent your anger. You think about existential questions like why you were born, why you live. You … Continue reading Life Goes On →

https://twitter.com/Haoyando/status/1336750990666706947 This picture doesn't do justice to the cute restaurant in this local strip mall. It was a little snowy outside and I was driving past it to go to the Kam Man grocery store to buy lunch. The tents used to look much better during the summer months, more shiny, more in shape, certainly … Continue reading Drama In Asian Restaurant →

Two women meet in the grocery store. They are very happy to see each other and it looks like they haven't seen each other for a while, glad to accidentally meet in one of the refrigerator aisles. They talk and talk. At the checkout, one woman says loudly, “It’s the doom’s day. We are too … Continue reading Weekday Outburst →

"What do you think?" or "What will you do if it were you?" You are pressed to say something on a delicate situation, for which you'd rather have no opinion or pretend not to have an opinion. The situation becomes more dire when it concerns your friend's love life. If you don't give an answer, … Continue reading How To Give Delicate Advice →

I am not surprised that there are so much disinformation, conspiracy theories, frauds, fraudulent claims of fraud right now. The reason is that as an immigrant, I am used to misconceptions and misinterpretations for years. The English we had learned in classroom is not the English people really use here; The stories of immigrants we … Continue reading Misconception And Misinterpretation →

Someone said, "The first experience can never be repeated.  The first love, the first sunrise…" and I agreed immediately, being good-natured as I am, afraid of offending by disagreement, eager to smooth things over at the expense of self expression. However, I don't agree with such an overt admiration for the "first". There are just … Continue reading The First Try →

If your friend suggests a road trip together during the holiday season to visit another friend in a different state, please be strong and deny it right away despite the fact that you heart is tinkling with the desire for some activities. You have to be firm and don't betray any sign of hesitation or … Continue reading A Road Trip →

I think we should all be thankful to others this year. However that's not what I want to talk about here, which is being thankful to ourselves. Many of us don't feel that we are being appreciated enough. Part of the reason is that we don't thank ourselves enough. Worse, some of us even hate … Continue reading Thankful Reflections →

Please don't ask me whether we should go shopping on black Friday. I won't answer that question. If you have already made up your mind of going or not going, do not plague your friends with your soliciting tone, "what do you think? To go or not to go?" I know a couple who would … Continue reading To Go Or Not To Go →

Holiday cooking is a happy hazard, meaning it is never perfect and something a little hazardous is bound to happen to twist the holiday cheers. It is almost an old tired tune to repeat if I say turkey was only cooked once in the past ten years and there are several reasons for it. First … Continue reading Holiday Evolution →

One thing good about the holiday season is that one feels happy about one's own grumpiness. All the stress of experiencing cheerful things, the boredom of shopping trips, the mental anxiety of trying to say something less like holiday cliches can add up and make anybody grumpy. But we tell ourselves, "it's a holiday. We … Continue reading Happy And Happier →