Wednesday’s Wandering Thoughts

Image by Ptrixxi from Pixabay

Wednesday is always a tricky day, a little annoying, a little stuck in the middle. The weather too is a little unsure of itself, with clouds darkening in the gathering dusk, and an occasional raindrop falling but not really rainy. I just feel a little moody and whiny today, for no specific reason. I hope I am not becoming like my mother, who complained of her anxiety and discomfort all the time even if nobody dared to bother her, at least in my opinion.

Do you have a friend or a colleague who thinks he or she is a solver of all problems, or a rightful respondent to all questions, or a comprehend-er (what is the word for a person who understand?) of all notions, or the chosen one by deity or fate? I shouldn’t be annoyed but I was–at least a little. I shouldn’t have asked the question, but I did. Well, let it go. Some people only use words to put up a polite front and to block communication. Why do I want to communicate with such people? Why bother? Other people have all given up on this person long ago and I should do the same.

Anyway, I was listening to a book, which is depressing. This also gets on my nerves. I promised that I would not listen to another sad book, but promises sometimes are made to be broken; understanding often turns out to be misunderstanding as far as book reading is concerned. I was cooking and listening to this book while feeling the urge of throwing my kindle tablet out of the window.

I think the root of my unease has nothing to do with the above, but rather it’s about my friend M who is going to go back to mend the relationship and to work on the unworkable. I told her she has to try it and nobody can predict the result; if she wants to give it another chance, she should do it. However in my heart of heart, I know it is risky, if not entirely impossible. The problem with M is that she thinks she is a docile, sweet, malleable girl, but she is not. In my opinion she is as strong and temperamental and stubborn as I am. She thinks she can turn a blind eye to things she doesn’t want to see, but she is not capable of doing that. I mean turning a blind eye needs a much stronger traditional value than she possesses, a much more primitive society than we are in, a much higher economic reward than she can make a claim on.

Well…life goes on no matter what, right path or wrong path, sound or delusional, rain or no rain.

Perish the negative thoughts.