Author: haoyando

The Crazy School Lunch

Akito Nakamura is a typical Japanese boy with an atypical family history. His father is a Malaysian who went to Japan to attend a graduate program, during which he got to know Akito's mom Momoe Nakamura. When the program ended, the two decided to get married. However after Momoe traveled to Malaysia to meet the … Continue reading The Crazy School Lunch →

The New Purchase (Flash Fiction #1)

"Where are you going?" Armei asks. "Relax. I'll be back in two hours." Armei's boyfriend Lee says. "No, you are not. Liar. I will shoot you if you leave me." Armei pulls out the new gun Lee just bought from a gun show in New York City. "Hi, be careful with that. That's not a … Continue reading The New Purchase (Flash Fiction #1) →

New Word #1: Cacoethes

I've always wanted to talk about vocabulary, if only to help others just like myself. Being a non-native speaker, English vocabulary has always been a challenge. There are so many of them and a lot don't even sound like English. Avoiding is not possible; facing it is frustrating. How to deal with the feeling of … Continue reading New Word #1: Cacoethes →

It’s Your Mom I Love

Yola has always loved other people's mom, but she didn't realize that until college. It dawned on her during one of the classes for her elective course European Literature. "Balzac's parents belonged to the first generation of middle class in France, and Balzac's mom always wanted to go up. You know what I mean. She … Continue reading It’s Your Mom I Love →

Recipe For Mishaps

I know M who is prone to traffic accidents. Not big ones, usually small incidents like scratching somebody's bumper or rear ending the car before him at a red light. Mostly his own fault. He takes it in a strange fatalistic way as if it is something that befalls on him, rather than something caused … Continue reading Recipe For Mishaps →

Miscommunication

I can never read a doctor's handwriting. Any doctor. It's just not legible. It's a wonder how pharmacists can get the correct medicine for you based on those unstructured scrawls on a little piece of prescription paper. Is there a secret communication code wired in that illegible writing on the prescription? I don't know. It's … Continue reading Miscommunication →

Poem Of The Day #5

Blue and white and pink with a spring breeze. Flowers smile, grass sing, trees impatient to turn green while I'm sitting here, toiling in front of the computer screen. I dream of going outside. Probably being a farmer, but no farming knowledge, or a gardener, but no gardening skills. How about a nomad, like my … Continue reading Poem Of The Day #5 →

Lovers’ Chance Meeting

Armei and Lee were college sweethearts, but they separated after graduation. One day, Armei found that Lee had not been posting pictures with his girlfriend for a while. She decided to plan an accidental meeting with him at the popular dim sum restaurant, which he and his girlfriend used to frequent, and post their meal … Continue reading Lovers’ Chance Meeting →

Give Friends Suggestions

We often give people suggestions, some giving more suggestions than others. Since I like to talk, when given a chance, and can't shut up--actually I am a typical introvert, not an extrovert at all, and I don't know how I've become a talkative introvert-- I'm often asked for suggestions. Now looking back, I think it … Continue reading Give Friends Suggestions →

Optimist vs. Pessimist

If you ever go to a sales meeting, you will hear a lot of witticisms about optimist vs. pessimist. "An optimist see opportunities in every difficulty; a pessimist see difficulties in every opportunity." "A pessimist see a dark tunnel and an optimist see the light at the end of the tunnel." Or something similar. However … Continue reading Optimist vs. Pessimist →

Poem Of The Day #4

Last week's spring heat bloomed the early flowers. But alas, temperature has since dropped to 27F at night, which is -3C. I don't even know your name-- cherry or dogwood or crabapple-- but I feel sorry for your flowers. How can you survive the onslaught of the fickle weather? Some say "rough winds do shake … Continue reading Poem Of The Day #4 →

Quotes Of The Day #5

George Orwell's essays often point out our foibles and failings without pessimism or cynicism or anger. I love his optimism and his fighting spirit. Often I feel that each of his essays can be extended into a book, and a lot of nuances and details can be elaborated even further. I wish Audible can make … Continue reading Quotes Of The Day #5 →

April Fool Unfooled

Whether April Fool's day originated in England, France, or Netherlands, it is still in dispute, however in modern times, it has spread throughout the world. For many years, playing practical jokes on this particular day has become popular in Asian countries too, which is at least partially fueled by government officials who want to put … Continue reading April Fool Unfooled →

Poem Of The Day #3

It's the spring; it's a spell; something in the air. The thought of you blooms. Another decade, another April. Time hurries away as if in haste. But you're going nowhere. Your shaved chin, your brisk walk, your shoulder bulging the shirt is here forever in my wandering mind, in my knotted brow, in my staring … Continue reading Poem Of The Day #3 →

“Being Yourself” vs. “Not Being Yourself”

My true self is very interested in useless activities, like endless chatting, binge watching, reading aimlessly online, and indulging in a fantasized nostalgia. If I practice being myself, I will never get anything done. My healthy existence is dependent on me staying away from my true self. If I were a bird, I would be … Continue reading “Being Yourself” vs. “Not Being Yourself” →

The Whimsical Grandpa

"Cindy, we need to wear the white funeral dress and cry in front your Grandpa's coffin." Cindy's mom says. "Mom, how can I cry? I hardly know him. I can't just shed tear on command." Cindy says. "Your Grandpa's will says that everybody has to cry. Anybody who doesn't cry is not going to get … Continue reading The Whimsical Grandpa →

Love Stories

A girl falls in love with a guy, but the guy doesn't reciprocate. The girl goes to the King, who forces the guy to marry her. The guy does what he's forced to do, but leaves her right after the wedding to the frontier to fight the invaders. While he's fighting the enemy, the girl … Continue reading Love Stories →

Looking For New Ideas

I've decided that when I have no new ideas, I would stop staring into the air to wish that something would happen. Something would not happen just because I wish it to happen; ideas don't show up just because I'm desperate. Instead I would do something new. Buy a new pink colored mouse and mouse … Continue reading Looking For New Ideas →

The Battle Of Expectation

I've been reading "Let Love Have The Last Word" this month and here is a paragraph about expectation: "I think, throughout my life, I've had pockets where I've wanted the other person to elevate me, or felt as though they were going to provide a kind of boost for me to approach my higher self. … Continue reading The Battle Of Expectation →

A Trip To Cape Cod

"I've never known that cape means a smaller peninsular. Cape Cod is where there used to be a large amount of cod fish." Lulu says while staring at the google result. "Look, I didn't come here to talk about geography or food." Brother Yi is a little impatient. "And Henry David Thoreau wrote a book … Continue reading A Trip To Cape Cod →

Work With Time vs. Race Against Time

I heard the phrase very often that one has to treat time as a cooperator rather than an enemy. I really don't know what that means. Whether a cooperator or an enemy, time sneaks away and disappears fast. If it is a cooperator, it's an irresponsible and fickle one. As to whether it is an … Continue reading Work With Time vs. Race Against Time →

Superfluity

"I can't believe I'm laid off. I've been a chemist for twenty years and I don't know what to do next. 2020 is not only the pandemic year, but also the death to the chemists year. It's the fault of artificial intelligence. Let me tell you something about the pharmaceutical industry. In the past there's … Continue reading Superfluity →

The Evolution Of Beauty

Stage 1 -- Pure Fantasy This is when you were seven years old and first discovered that rhyming language is fun. You wanted to be her (click here for her story) who lived 900 years ago and who wrote beautiful lines. The sadder she was, the more beautiful she wrote. Then you started to enjoy … Continue reading The Evolution Of Beauty →

Poem Of The Day #1

I am staring into nothing, which I hope is something. An hour has passed, I can't come up with anything. I get up, and walk around, like a clown, with a frown, frustration unbound. On the desk, a book spread, I flip through what I've read. Nothing there, except the feeling of dread. Without an … Continue reading Poem Of The Day #1 →

Anniversary

I don't know if this should be called anniversary. I've always had the impression, probably a wrong one, that the word is used to commemorate something wonderful rather than something sickly and virus related. Still, by definition, it is an anniversary. It has been one year already since New Jersey started its first lockdown in … Continue reading Anniversary →

Kitchen Drama

Food is the star of the family drama; kitchen is where the star is born and worked on. Most of the family actions happen there--the rinsing, chopping, stir-frying. Most of the cleaning and tidying up happen in there; most of the curses and regrets are uttered there. Mistakes happen that can ruin a favored dish; … Continue reading Kitchen Drama →

Bee Positive, Bee Yourself

Every year, Edison Township has contestants for the Scripps National Spelling Bee, and their cute pictures would be published in the local newspaper. Last year, even if it was cancelled due to the pandemic, an online substitute contest was won by an eighth grader from Edison, Navneeth Murali, who spelled the word “Karoshthi” correctly. I … Continue reading Bee Positive, Bee Yourself →

March Madness–Everybody Is A Little Mad

I know M whose exercise routine is too intense for her body type, to the point that it's almost self damaging. Needless to say, after years of "abuse", her body caves in. Now she has damaged her knees, which require physical therapy. I warned her many times in the past ten years, but she wouldn't … Continue reading March Madness–Everybody Is A Little Mad →

The Misnomer

Mong The Husband: "Where have you been? It's so late. Almost 10 o'clock. It's dangerous to be out so late." Meimei The Wife: "Come On. This is Piscataway, New Jersey. Not New York City. We had a drama rehearsal at school tonight. The director went on and on and on. He couldn't shut up. It's … Continue reading The Misnomer →

Cultural Difference On TV

I didn't have time to watch the Oprah interview of Meghan & Harry, but I caught something last night from a channel in Southeast Asia. The cultural differences demonstrated in the comments from the program hosts are so blatant that I just couldn't help laughing. I won't say which channel it is since I don't … Continue reading Cultural Difference On TV →

The Young Comedian

"Cindy, you are going to apply for college soon, right? What are you going to study?" People in the lab ask. Cindy doesn't come to visit her mom at her workplace often, but she does on this particular day. "Comedy," Cindy said. "Wow, that's interesting. Is that a drama major? In NYU?" The three people … Continue reading The Young Comedian →

The Argument

Fang Senior: "What are you doing, son? Are you reading?" Fang Junior: "I've been blocked for a week and nothing comes to my mind. What else can I do but to read?" Fang Senior: "Show me what you are reading." Fang Junior: "Dad, come on. You've lived in Philadelphia for decades, but I've never seen … Continue reading The Argument →

Sleepless Vs. Clueless

Sleepless: I just don't feel drowsy at all and lie awake all night for days. Clueless: Maybe it's the tea you drank, or you staring at the computer screen for too long, or your anxiety. Wait, just blame the pandemic. Sleepless: I stopped tea or coffee last month. Zero caffeine now. The worst thing is … Continue reading Sleepless Vs. Clueless →

Love As A Way To Live Our Lives

I have this long running unofficial "feud" with two assistants in the local Barnes & Noble. Once they even sent a temp they hired--a college student of Asian descent--to ask me "can I help you", the polite greeting with the purpose of driving me away from a display table of newest paperbacks. I guess I … Continue reading Love As A Way To Live Our Lives →

Tea For Positivi-Tea

"What are you doing? Drinking tea from a bowl? That's ... unbelievable." "What are you doing? You eat your ice cream with hot tea?" This was many years ago when I was a graduate student. I had two roommates. Since I can't give away too many details, let's just say one is from South Asia … Continue reading Tea For Positivi-Tea →

Social Media Family

M gets most of the information about his family member from the social media. M's son and his girlfriend work in a city several hundred miles away from here. For some reasons, M and his wife had some unpleasant verbal exchange with their son a while ago. The next thing they knew, the relationship descended … Continue reading Social Media Family →

From The Humble Worms

Every time I go to Menlo Park Mall, I would visit my favorite item, to see, to touch, to feel its perfection. It's hanging proudly in Nordstrom, an expensive store. A silk long sleeved pajamas with matching silk pants, which I can't afford. It's been there for quite a while, but last weekend, it's gone. … Continue reading From The Humble Worms →

Before You Think

Read before you think. Somebody said this, but I don't remember who. I don't think it is achievable. For many of us, we think and make decisions long before we read something about it since we have little time to read every day. Sometimes it is a delay of ten years. Finally we read something … Continue reading Before You Think →

A Procrastinator

Remember Hurricane Sandy eight and half years ago? It happened at the end of October. As a typical procrastinator, I'm usually very busy in the last several days of the month. A lot of things were due and I was in half panic mode. Guess what, Sandy hit us hard and our electricity was knocked … Continue reading A Procrastinator →

Over-Preparation

H went for an interview to get a contractor job and came back a little distraught. It's a disaster, according to him. I helped him prepare--revising his resume and brushing up his English etc. Well, English is not his first language and the interview is rather important to him. He needed all the help he … Continue reading Over-Preparation →

She Will Survive

My friend M called last night from the West Coast that she was being contact traced and had to go for a virus test. It's all because one business meeting she had, during which they didn't wear mask and their talk was very long. M has been very careful indeed, but still things happen. Now … Continue reading She Will Survive →

Politics In Small Town

When Jun Choi was running his mayoral campaign for Edison, New Jersey in 2005, many Asians I knew didn't vote for him, not because they had anything against his candidacy, but rather due to the fact that they were content with the way things were and saw no need to replace the incumbent. That's exactly … Continue reading Politics In Small Town →

My Unbelievable Friend

Let's just call him Wai, which is not his real name, and I've changed several details so that nobody can recognize him even if they read this blog. However the story is true. I've always felt that at least half of my friends are mad, and I think my friends are probably thinking everybody else … Continue reading My Unbelievable Friend →

Love Is A Mess

She was very young, in her twenties, walking right in front of me, pushing a shopping cart full of daily essentials. Suddenly she turned around, looking past me, and said, "Where are you?" I looked around likewise and saw her husband, loitering in a little distance, with two kids in tow of about four years … Continue reading Love Is A Mess →

Leave The Lovers Alone

We all know those famous witch-hunts in Europe and North America, but there were witch-hunts in Asia too. As far as human absurdity is concerned, no continent is immune. And I am about to describe one of these concerning a pair of star crossed lovers. I promise there's no gory detail, no hopeless injustice, no … Continue reading Leave The Lovers Alone →

The Argument

Prehistocial man P and H are roasting several big sweet potatoes on a camp fire. Soon it is done. The aroma is irresistible; the skin is charcoaled and broken here and there with tasty sweet texture exposed. It's a bet. P would circle the tribal ground twice while H is supposed to eat the biggest … Continue reading The Argument →

The Reverse Psychology Expert

Lulu the customer: "Don't you think I need to change the rear view mirror? I somehow cracked it with the back of my snow brush." Maahi the auto mechanic:"No need to do that. It's cracked a little on the edge and it won't bother your vision." Lulu: "Don't you think I need to change the … Continue reading The Reverse Psychology Expert →

The Owner Of “Maahi Repair”

Maahi is not his real name. Since I am not sure whether he desires this kind of publicity, I have to change his name to tell his story. He's a graduate of Indian Institute Of Technology, and he loves cars. He came to America twenty-five years ago, attending graduate school in New Jersey and intending … Continue reading The Owner Of “Maahi Repair” →

A Romantic Comedy Or Not

Me: "We need to cook some jollof rice today since we promised that we would do that this weekend and share the result with others." My Mind: "I feel like sitting on the couch all day today. I have to say no. I have also sent messages to the body to stay on the couch." … Continue reading A Romantic Comedy Or Not →

Alternative Valentine’s Day Tradition

Women give men chocolate as gift on Valentine's day in Japan. It's a tradition since the end of the WWII, when a chocolate company tried to market chocolate to Japanese people. In those days both chocolate and Valentine's Day were something new in Japan--rarely anybody ate chocolate or observed Valentine's day. The chocolate shops were … Continue reading Alternative Valentine’s Day Tradition →

Lunar New Year

https://twitter.com/Haoyando/status/1360348311052550151 First day of the ox year, or bull if you prefer to call it. I was hoping to add several photos of festivity to my upcoming "About" page, but alas, all the stores here are out of spirit, with absolutely no holiday decorations anywhere. Blame the pandemic, I guess. For the past ten years … Continue reading Lunar New Year →

Creating An “About” Page

I am trying to create an "about" page and here is the thing I want to say about myself. I am an Asian, living in Edison, New Jersey. The reason I spell out where I live is because Edison township is as famous as New York City-- I mean among Asians. Many Asians who have … Continue reading Creating An “About” Page →

Colorful And Perilous

She's an incorrigible gambler, an incessant drinker, a perpetual presence in local parties, a lover of fine clothes and gossips. She sounds like a typical college girl of the 21st century, except that she lived almost exactly one thousand years ago. Yes, it is true that history repeats itself and the same kind of women … Continue reading Colorful And Perilous →

Long Twilight

Dawn starts from 6AM to a little before 7AM--a wonderful period of twilight that I usually miss except when attacked by insomnia, like today. I like dusk better, which stretches from a little before 5PM to a little after 6PM. The nice one hour twilight. My favorite time, but I didn't realize it is more … Continue reading Long Twilight →

Knowing Yourself And Others

Lulu has finished a long day's work at the Ivy Training Center, which has established classes from 4PM to 9PM every weekday, and all day weekend to cater to students of all grades. She calls it Ivy, never using the full name, just like everybody else. Before 4PM, Ivy also helps translate, fill forms, make … Continue reading Knowing Yourself And Others →

My Mischievous Great Aunt

My great aunt Zu, my grandfather's eldest sister, had long been dead before I was born, even my father had never met her. All stories about her was hearsay. Still my father repeated her story several times. Somehow I suspected that he did this for my benefit--the moral of his story is that aunt Zu's … Continue reading My Mischievous Great Aunt →

Who’s Afraid

of Virginia Woolf? I really like that movie, but I don't really like Virginia Woolf's writing. Long time ago, when I was young and fervent, torturing myself through reading something I dislike was part of my duty. So I thought. That's when I took on Virginia Woolf but I dislike everything, from "Night And Day", … Continue reading Who’s Afraid →

Snow And Romance

Snow and romance, two completely different concepts, share the same central theme of being very beautiful in your dream and being very messy in real life. This is what Lulu is thinking when she is stuck behind a string of cars trying to get into the TJ Maxx shopping plaza. The snow storm three days … Continue reading Snow And Romance →

Saturday’s Little Woes

https://twitter.com/Haoyando/status/1358166073791705088 Suddenly everyone is double masked.Me too.Dragon Fruit is $6.88 a piece -- Robbery.Bought a book from Betterworldbooks.com with the library label still attached.Why are these people at the car wash?Don't they know another snow storm is coming tomorrow?Why is this white haired eighty-year-old out and driving today?The road is jammed; half the right lane … Continue reading Saturday’s Little Woes →

Something In Between

I dislike writing reviews, but I also dislike not saying anything after reading a book. So what to do? Which one I dislike more? Those people trained in writing workshops or master programs know how to criticize without offending anybody, but I'm unschooled in this direction. The compromise will be to read books written by … Continue reading Something In Between →

Kids Protecting Parents

This is a story about me and my friend Ying when we were teenagers. It's when I realized how protective some kids are towards their parents, whether the parents deserve it or not. Ying's father and my mother both worked for a university as English teachers, and both our families lived in the university living … Continue reading Kids Protecting Parents →