A girl falls in love with a guy, but the guy doesn’t reciprocate. The girl goes to the King, who forces the guy to marry her. The guy does what he’s forced to do, but leaves her right after the wedding to the frontier to fight the invaders. While he’s fighting the enemy, the girl has to steal his ring, bribe his lover, fake her own death, and finally show up where he’s trying to get himself engaged to somebody else. In the happy end, the girl gets the guy.
I thought this is a ridiculous story at first. Such a nice and vivacious girl should find somebody who loves her, not this heartless philanderer. With so much energy for love and sacrifice and hard work, she should get someone worthy of her love. I didn’t believe such an event had ever happened or would ever happen; I didn’t believe such a girl had ever existed and would ever exist. It’s just theater and drama, “All’s Well That Ends Well”. Also Shakespeare is never very good with his plot design. Think about “King Lear”. The beginning where King Lear insists on being ardently loved by his three daughters is quite absurd. Do parents make such outrageous demands on their children? “Declare your unconditional love for me, kid. Or I will punish you.” This kind of question will surely receive an answer like, “Dad, are you OK?”
Then I met this girl C in college. She went to a dance and met this guy T. We were all in the same college. The girl asked him out, but the guy was not interested. He even deliberately asked other girls out in front of her, but that served as no deterrent. Every girl T tried to go out with would receive a visit and a plea from his ardent admirer C. After several rounds, they eventually became girlfriend and boyfriend, at least for a while. So it’s really like what is described in “All’s Well That Ends Well”.
After that, I’ve met several couples like that. The girl would do everything, cooking, cleaning, serving, and running errands. She’s very happy with her sacrifice, and he’s content with being loved. All’s well that ends well.
Of course I can never do things like this since I am never a very eager person to start with. More importantly I am always concerned how other people will react to me. Their reaction is as valid as my own feeling to me, if not more valid.
Then I read this passage:
In other words, if you are always more concerned about how someone will react to you, and if you’re worried someone will react negatively, then you’re less likely to say anything at all.
…
Recognizing, speaking to, and honoring our truth is the correct path to fostering love and intimacy; that such communication is difficult only underscores the impact of this positive and open connection.
“Let Love Have The Last Word”
It’s true, isn’t it? If we are too concerned of the negative reaction of other people, we are going to stop expressing ourselves altogether. Sometimes we just have to honor our truth, despite all the oppositions, even the oppositions from the person we love. Without this, it is hard to reach love and intimacy.
Haoyan Do 
Agree – we are not born in this world just to impress but more so to express 🙂
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That’s so true. Our flawed self is endearing and it takes courage to express.
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It kind of feels like the storyline of Shakespeare’s play, and your story of C, are the girl equivalent of the “nice guy.” I thought this was a thing guys did, but I guess it’s just people in general, think that if they are attracted to someone and are just always there, that love will eventually be reciprocated. It ends in marriage in Shakespeare’s play, and at least a short-term relationship in your story, but in reality, every individual person should have consent for his/her body. If you’re not into someone, and politely turn them down, it may hurt to be refused, but no means no, no matter who’s saying it and no matter what the reason is for that person’s saying it.
I think it is good to put yourself out there. You should be able to be honest, and you should be able to mess up sometimes, and still be loved. It takes bravery to be true to yourself – on a related note, it’s important to also listen to the truth of others.
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Thank you for visiting and commenting. I agree with you totally–individual person should have consent for his/her body. When the guy or the girl is obviously not into something, you have to stop pursuing. “All’s Well That Ends Well” is a little overboard about this. LOL. I wonder if it will really end well. On the other hand, we should all put ourselves out there, expressing ourselves and not being afraid of rejections. There’s a balance…
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Yes, definitely a balance. All’s Well that Ends Well is also one of the Shakespeare plays I haven’t yet read – I’ll need to fix that soon! It’s interesting, though – it’s definitely a comedy, since it ends in marriage, but I wonder if even Shakespeare meant it as a “happy ending.” His own marriage doesn’t seem like it was a very happy one. I feel like I’m getting off-course a bit – there’s so much to think about related to your post! With respect to your last comment, I agree, it is important to put yourself out there, and I truly think if you do, the right person will love all the pieces of you (even the pieces they don’t agree with), although it can take awhile to find your person.
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Love these powerful words.
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😊😉😃
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I think the best love is wanting the other person to be happy, which also means being able to let go. Then again, it is easier said than done.
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Yes, that’s true. I think so too. Then again, I don’t have the experience of loving somebody who totally rejects me. You are right if it is really happening to me, it will be easier said than done.
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Mostly it’s because of the fear of rejection. But then good things come to those who take action.
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That’s true. Be true to one’s own heart and follow one’s heart despite all the resistance.
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I liked this post. It is important to be true to yourself and not worry about what other people think.
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Thank you for reading. Yes, sometimes we just have to say something despite knowing that we will face negative responses. So the balance shifts towards how to manage the negative responses, rather than how to restrain ourselves from saying things we feel true.
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