Stage 1 — Pure Fantasy
This is when you were seven years old and first discovered that rhyming language is fun. You wanted to be her (click here for her story) who lived 900 years ago and who wrote beautiful lines. The sadder she was, the more beautiful she wrote. Then you started to enjoy music theater and wanted to be a performer–this is before you found out that you don’t have a voice; you are not musical; you can’t perform. Reality is so dream crushing.
Stage 2 — Popularity Is Everything
You want to be as popular as these beautiful actresses, despite the mirror you look into every morning tells you otherwise. “Shut up, Mr. Mirror. You are wrong.” You wear make up; you try to be agreeable to opinions you despise; you spend way more time on clothing and gossips than what you truly like to do–reading.
Stage 3 — The Woman Warrior
Now you crave to be a woman warrior to fight against “the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune” and “take arms against a sea of troubles”. You can’t believe that you wanted to be popular in the past–so young, so naive. You consider your past very unworthy of your intelligence and capability. You really want to be a tomb raider, an assassin, a kung fu lady with double daggers. You don’t have a specific enemy, but you are itchy to fight.
Stage 4 — Understand Who You Are
Finally, after years of detour, you realize that you are never going to be popular, and you are never going to be a warrior. If anything, you hate competition as much as you hate violence. You are a little book worm without much muscle power, because you enjoy the literary diet, not the muscle building protein meal. The beauty of words is the most beautiful of all. This completes the evolution of beauty in your life.