Category: Diary

I Can’t Believe This

Shoveling snow is a depressing job. And it might cause some unexpected effects, like weird thoughts rushing into one's mind. I really thought about this when shoveling snow: In heaven, when people first meet, the question they ask each other will not be "what's your job" or "where are you from", but rather "how did … Continue reading I Can’t Believe This →

The Chef And The Snow Storm

It's rumored that Shanzu was a little orphaned girl, living among the urban poor in the capital city of Chang'an during Tang Dynasty, which was about 1400 years ago. It seemed that fate had doomed her in the beginning of her life's journey. What prospect could she have other than being an illiterate servant girl, … Continue reading The Chef And The Snow Storm →

The Salt Truck, The Overflowing Cart, And 35,000 Choices

Does each person really make about 35,000 choices every day? I heard it several times, but it is a little hard to believe. This morning, the temperature was in teens--this is in Fahrenheit, not in Celsius, which usually takes quite a while for an immigrant to get used to. Even the facial wipes in my … Continue reading The Salt Truck, The Overflowing Cart, And 35,000 Choices →

Organize Vs. Disorganize

I know several people who are so organized that they know exactly what they did ten years ago today and they know exactly what they are going to do ten years later today. I am not exaggerating. If you ask L what she did ten years ago today, she would pull out one little booklet … Continue reading Organize Vs. Disorganize →

Clueless

There should be a complete idiot's guide to commonly used terms and slang. The book "Black Rednecks and White Liberals" by Thomas Sowell really makes this guide more necessary than ever, for me at least. What is a redneck, a liberal, a conservative, a Quaker, a Methodist, an abolitionist, a New Englander etc.? I vaguely … Continue reading Clueless →

Super Bowl And Lunar New Year

The Super Bowl and Lunar New Year usually happen within ten days of each other, but they never fall on the same day. One is decided by somebody in NFL, and the other is decided by the moon or some other celestial powers. The two don't communicate with each other when the dates are determined, … Continue reading Super Bowl And Lunar New Year →

Lost In Paradise

What will happen when negotiations fail? I mean in our life, in politics, in a relationship. The consequence of failed negotiations has been played out live from Fiji, an archipelago in South Pacific with less than one million residents. Whether the events in Fuji has implications for other countries or regions, I don't really know. … Continue reading Lost In Paradise →

A Message From LinkedIn

I can't believe I am still following him. LinkedIn sent me a message last night telling me that he posts one new year message and he hasn't been posting any message for a while. He is not into social media; he doesn't post messages or write blogs. Actually we have no contact in the last … Continue reading A Message From LinkedIn →

The Difference

A while ago, K told me that she had to move because her neighbor was too loud. Now she lives somewhere at a top floor apartment, in a manicured little gated community, in a township for which she's one of few Asians. Of course it must be close to a major transportation hub--either NJ transit … Continue reading The Difference →

A Woman And Her Store

Let's just say her name is Vi and she is selling her little store, which she has been the owner for the last fifteen years or so. Let's just say the buyer's name is Tai, for whom I've done translation off and on for many years. The store is in the Princeton area and the … Continue reading A Woman And Her Store →

Differences Big And Small

Writing is much more preferable to speaking, especially when English is concerned. Let's just take vowels for example. I can't distinguish between "pet","port", "pot", "pat", "part". They all sound the same to me. This means whether you are telling me you own a cat, a harbor, a cooking utensil, or a role in a TV … Continue reading Differences Big And Small →

18% Oxygen

https://twitter.com/Haoyando/status/1351596520274075649 How can one know if a room has less than 18% oxygen? LOL. I try to recall the high school chemistry classes, which happened such a long time ago. Is there an easy way to know the percentage of the oxygen in the air? I mean is there something called oxygen-meter that can check … Continue reading 18% Oxygen →

The Favorite Of 2020

I dislike competitions and strive to avoid them as best as I can, because competitions always make me feel dreadful. If I lose, I feel bad; If I win, I feel bad for people who haven't won, and simultaneously I also can't help wondering if the sense of triumph is shallow, short-lived, giving me the … Continue reading The Favorite Of 2020 →

Thoughts New And Old

Growing up, I've never heard any of my neighbors having any trouble with the police. Of course that's very much a half rural, almost un-industrialized environment where almost everybody knows everybody else. Even if you don't know that particular person, you know somebody who knows him. The unemployment rate is very high among young people … Continue reading Thoughts New And Old →

Breach Of Resolution

Only two weeks into 2021, let me count all the breaches of my new year's resolutions. I know it is a little too soon, isn't it? What can I do? #1 breach: I won't watch any show about cooking or eating in 2021. That was my resolution, but in the past two weeks, I've watched … Continue reading Breach Of Resolution →

No Exercise

I've tried every possible way to make at home exercise more pleasant, or rather less painful, but to no avail. I still haven't exercised despite trying to get myself to do it the entire week. DVD, online videos, Fitness Marshall series, book reading while throwing limbs back and forth, making an exercise plan, imagining good … Continue reading No Exercise →

Without Concentration

No concentration today. I have a lot to do, but my mind just seems not interested in the goal anymore. Probably because yesterday I wrote something about politics, and I did it in the mildest way possible, but still somehow I feel somebody is annoyed at my post. However I don't want to change just … Continue reading Without Concentration →

Predictions

The TV show "Alpha House"(of eight years ago) has one episode about the chaotic scenes after an overenthusiastic republican senator pulls out a gun to assert her rights to bear firearms in the hallway of the Capital. She is a beauty with straight blonde hair, sweet smile and a true killer attitude. The alarm is … Continue reading Predictions →

New Year’s Resolutions

Avoid carbohydrate as much as possible. I know this is impossible to achieve. I've been trying to do this for years, only succeeding in making carbohydrate more appealing to me. It's with great self restraint that rivals the most lauded stoic figure in history that I stopped myself today from buying sticky rice snacks at … Continue reading New Year’s Resolutions →

Interview Before Christmas

My friend is going to have a Zoom interview before Christmas and she has been dreading the terrifying moment for a week now. Interviews are usually hard to deal with. Interviews are especially hard to deal with for introverts, for people who tend to be nervous and diffident, for women above a certain age. If … Continue reading Interview Before Christmas →

Let It Snow

It's really not too bad, only a foot of snow. In certain parts of nearby states like New York and Connecticut, it can be two feet. One would think global warming has made snow obsolete for the latitude and the altitude we are in. For the past three years, it seems true. We've had no … Continue reading Let It Snow →

Christmas Lights

For years, we have been practicing this holiday routine of driving in the surrounding neighborhoods in search of the house with the best Christmas lights. In order to do that, you have to have several friends in one car, driving around to comment, evaluate, praise the arrangement, the variation, the scale of the lights on … Continue reading Christmas Lights →

Life Goes On

You scream, you curse, you throw items to the wall--make sure they are non-valuable low-impact items so that you don't feel bad for the item or the wall later on. You send "rescue me" messages to others to vent your anger. You think about existential questions like why you were born, why you live. You … Continue reading Life Goes On →

Monkey’s View On Equality

It is said that when scientists gave one monkey a grape in exchange for its pebble, and gave the second monkey a slice of cucumber for its pebble, it caused a little row. For monkeys, grapes taste better than cucumber slices. The second monkey, when observing the better deal the first monkey received, rebelled immediately … Continue reading Monkey’s View On Equality →

Drama In Asian Restaurant

https://twitter.com/Haoyando/status/1336750990666706947 This picture doesn't do justice to the cute restaurant in this local strip mall. It was a little snowy outside and I was driving past it to go to the Kam Man grocery store to buy lunch. The tents used to look much better during the summer months, more shiny, more in shape, certainly … Continue reading Drama In Asian Restaurant →

Weekday Outburst

Two women meet in the grocery store. They are very happy to see each other and it looks like they haven't seen each other for a while, glad to accidentally meet in one of the refrigerator aisles. They talk and talk. At the checkout, one woman says loudly, “It’s the doom’s day. We are too … Continue reading Weekday Outburst →

How To Give Delicate Advice

"What do you think?" or "What will you do if it were you?" You are pressed to say something on a delicate situation, for which you'd rather have no opinion or pretend not to have an opinion. The situation becomes more dire when it concerns your friend's love life. If you don't give an answer, … Continue reading How To Give Delicate Advice →

Misconception And Misinterpretation

I am not surprised that there are so much disinformation, conspiracy theories, frauds, fraudulent claims of fraud right now. The reason is that as an immigrant, I am used to misconceptions and misinterpretations for years. The English we had learned in classroom is not the English people really use here; The stories of immigrants we … Continue reading Misconception And Misinterpretation →

The First Try

Someone said, "The first experience can never be repeated.  The first love, the first sunrise…" and I agreed immediately, being good-natured as I am, afraid of offending by disagreement, eager to smooth things over at the expense of self expression. However, I don't agree with such an overt admiration for the "first". There are just … Continue reading The First Try →

A Road Trip

If your friend suggests a road trip together during the holiday season to visit another friend in a different state, please be strong and deny it right away despite the fact that you heart is tinkling with the desire for some activities. You have to be firm and don't betray any sign of hesitation or … Continue reading A Road Trip →

Dreary Topic And Dreary Day

I really don't want to write this since I have no interest in politics. I uphold the long Asian tradition--staying away from politics and governments as much as we can, even to our own disadvantage. However I have to write this to get it off my chest. There's no better time of doing this than … Continue reading Dreary Topic And Dreary Day →

Thankful Reflections

I think we should all be thankful to others this year. However that's not what I want to talk about here, which is being thankful to ourselves. Many of us don't feel that we are being appreciated enough. Part of the reason is that we don't thank ourselves enough. Worse, some of us even hate … Continue reading Thankful Reflections →

To Go Or Not To Go

Please don't ask me whether we should go shopping on black Friday. I won't answer that question. If you have already made up your mind of going or not going, do not plague your friends with your soliciting tone, "what do you think? To go or not to go?" I know a couple who would … Continue reading To Go Or Not To Go →

Holiday Evolution

Holiday cooking is a happy hazard, meaning it is never perfect and something a little hazardous is bound to happen to twist the holiday cheers. It is almost an old tired tune to repeat if I say turkey was only cooked once in the past ten years and there are several reasons for it. First … Continue reading Holiday Evolution →

Happy And Happier

One thing good about the holiday season is that one feels happy about one's own grumpiness. All the stress of experiencing cheerful things, the boredom of shopping trips, the mental anxiety of trying to say something less like holiday cliches can add up and make anybody grumpy. But we tell ourselves, "it's a holiday. We … Continue reading Happy And Happier →

Remember Or Not

My friend said his father is getting forgetful, but his father's doctor told them that his cognitive ability is at the top 5% of his age group. The family should be celebrating rather than worrying about his mental state. So I asked how the doctor made the judgement call and my friend said the doctor … Continue reading Remember Or Not →

The Happy Surprises

I woke up this morning, surprised that I had a good sleep last night. Insomnia gone, headache nonexistent. Sometimes happiness descends from nowhere. I almost felt that I don't deserve it. Have you ever experienced the moment when your friend did or said something that happily surprised you? I have this friend who's so gentle … Continue reading The Happy Surprises →

To Admire A Place

The best way to admire a place is from a distance. Once you live there, it's a very different story. I know a couple who admired a house in South Brunswick township for a year when it was being built--that was years ago when many new development were happening there--and as soon as it came … Continue reading To Admire A Place →

How To Fight The Winter Blue

I guess this is all caused by the fact that the sun set at 4:40PM and darkness swallows several hours of an afternoon. The crisp autumn air and the mild temperature cannot save the day when daylight shrinks so much. When you have the winter blue, just think about those people who live closer than … Continue reading How To Fight The Winter Blue →

When I Look At This

Last night I stared at this picture, but no sleepiness comes. By the way I checked the copyright of this picture, for which the painter Redon died in 1919, more than 100 years ago and I guess we can post the image just as freely as we can with Van Gogh. I've never had a … Continue reading When I Look At This →

Today’s Mishaps

Insomnia is overlooked by people. Nobody considers it as a sickness but it is. It has almost no remedy and people who suffer from it have a nightly dread of going to bed. Although I failed with valerian roots, I am thinking of trying chamomile next. Will meditation work? https://www.instagram.com/p/CHb7tGSH8nP/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link Thinking about friendships... https://www.instagram.com/p/CHbv-kGngsA I … Continue reading Today’s Mishaps →

Thoughts At The End Of The Day

Try not to reflect. Whenever I do reflect, I find a lot to regret about. This is why I never like to reflect or meditate or look back. The past is like an endless list of embarrassing moments, unfulfilled desires, flawed decisions. Even if those things I did well, I can see that I could … Continue reading Thoughts At The End Of The Day →

Capacity And Incapacity

I haven't calculated anything for ages. Even the monthly budget and expenses are done by the spreadsheet automatically. Suddenly I find myself unable to calculate numbers. Actually very easy numbers. If 87% is reporting in Nevada, Biden has 627,104, Trump has 606,967 votes. What's the total number of Nevada votes and the remaining uncounted votes? … Continue reading Capacity And Incapacity →

Comprehend A Little Bit More

Although I didn't watch it on Tuesday night, I spent many hours watching last night, throwing aside other things I need to do. I really don't understand why many swing states can't finish counting their votes while all the non-swing states have no trouble at all to finish the counting on election night--except Alaska. These … Continue reading Comprehend A Little Bit More →

Comprehend The Incomprehensible

The electoral college is as as mysterious as American football to me. I can understand neither. It's rules, its operations, its strategies--all mystery. I guess many immigrants are like me because the rest of the world don't have the electoral college system except in those rare places and on rare occasions. The same happens to … Continue reading Comprehend The Incomprehensible →

I Am Not Going To Watch Tonight

I used to watch TV for hours and hours on election night. What a crash course on American politics. Pundits, commentators, reporters all come out to analyze the past, the present, the exit polls, the historical similarities and differences with past elections. Reagan and Nixon are mentioned very often, which I don't know why. How … Continue reading I Am Not Going To Watch Tonight →

Computer Puns

I only knew cat lovers love to conjure up puns for their purr-fect pets, but I didn't know computers have so many pun-able words too. I only just discover this. One can never underestimate one's ignorance. It's not that I didn't know these words; I just never connected them with puns. They are hiding in … Continue reading Computer Puns →

Halloween: Lost And Not Found

This happens all the time--lost at home and never to be found. My socks are continuing disappearing after every wash and they don't usually walk away in pairs. One of the pair walks away and what can I do with the remaining one sock? My Good Grips peeler is nowhere to be found yesterday. I … Continue reading Halloween: Lost And Not Found →

“Hallowe’en Party” And The Change Of Taste

I thought I was going to read Agatha Christie's "Hallowe'en Party" today, but I just can't bring myself to read it. I feel that I am trying to squeeze myself into the jeans I used to wear when I was a teenager. Not that I wore jeans in those days. I was so skinny then … Continue reading “Hallowe’en Party” And The Change Of Taste →

Scary Things I’ve Encountered

I really haven't encountered scary things in my life, and now I feel that my life is strangely inadequate in this aspect. Probably many people are like me in this way, and probably this is why many people like Halloween, just to be scared once a year, to have the experience of fear and the … Continue reading Scary Things I’ve Encountered →

Binge Watching Scary Movies

Years ago in Pittsburgh, my friends liked to go to the popular local Halloween parade around this time. Often they brought back descriptions of what they saw--for example someone who painted his body with paints with blood dripping from a fake wound. I don't believe that's body paint. Since it is cold, like today, around … Continue reading Binge Watching Scary Movies →

Feeling Today’s Right Yesterday’s Wrong

I often feel today's right yesterday's wrong. I don't know why. It's strange that it is rarely the other way around, although let's be fair each has equal claim to be correct. Well, how about I grow wiser as time passes by, which obviously benefits today more than yesterday? That's possible only to a certain … Continue reading Feeling Today’s Right Yesterday’s Wrong →

Struggle With Broth

Last weekend, I had to struggle with the question--what broth to use--all because the local Trader Joe's runs out of the low sodium organic chicken broth. This Trader Joe's on Route One in the township of North Brunswick is too small, probably only three thousand square feet, which as a store is not much at … Continue reading Struggle With Broth →

That’s No Joke

"Alexa, tell me a joke?"Silence. My Kindle Fire is hitting a mini glitch. "Alexa, hello.""It's Sarcasm Awareness Month, and I say 'hi'.""Alexa, can you tell me a joke?""Why do zombies make such excellent golfers? They really know their way around a corpse.""I can write better jokes than that." I say to my friend immodestly. "Really? … Continue reading That’s No Joke →

Good And Bad On Standing Up

I can't remember who told me this--a person has to stand up or walk around for at least four hours a day. If not, the bones will not be healthy and the body will be in decline. Well, if the decline is impossible to stop, at least the four hour rule will help slow it … Continue reading Good And Bad On Standing Up →

Friendly Advice

I got a friendly advice today when N told me to sanitize the second hand book I ordered from betterworldbooks.com in case there are remnants of Covid19 clinging to the pages ready to jump on anybody who touches it and send the person to fever, ventilator, or even an early grave. "You know the virus … Continue reading Friendly Advice →

Life’s Discrepancies

Years ago one of my acquaintances told me this. At the time, I didn't really think about the merit or the moral of the story. I should have, but I didn't. I am not completely impervious to learning, but I pick up hints or wisdom very slowly. Now I can't even remember it was a … Continue reading Life’s Discrepancies →

Things I Don’t Want To Do

Things I don't want to do, like weekly chores, suddenly don't seem to be so bad when I am stuck, blocked, not able to proceed for one more line. At such a moment, my self doubt is everywhere, sitting on this very chair, filling up the four corners of the room, clinging up to the … Continue reading Things I Don’t Want To Do →

Backyard Farming

I call them backyard farmers, but they probably don't agree with me. It's popular among Asian immigrants in New Jersey to engage in backyard farming every year. I even know a couple who don't live in a house and don't have a backyard to grow their produce. What do they do? They rent a plot … Continue reading Backyard Farming →

When You Don’t Have An Appetite

I don't have an appetite today and I don't know why. Is it because of the melatonin pills I've taken these past two weeks for my insomnia? It could be. It is said online that melatonin is a naturally occurring hormone in our body and taking a little won't have any side effect on the … Continue reading When You Don’t Have An Appetite →

Binge Watching

Just binge watched "Billions" for eight episodes on showtime from Amazon, starting last night. Now I am feeling exhausted, hungry, eyes hurt, whole body ache. It's a wonderful show no doubt--the plot is quick paced, the acting quite convincing, the actors too handsome, the actresses too beautiful, the human relationships full of twists and barely … Continue reading Binge Watching →

Word Confusion

Some words are created to communicate, while others just to confuse. I thought I read "ruminative" on an article about what Fran Lebowitz has to say about her current state of staying at home, but it is actually "remunerative". I don't know about native speakers, but as a person learning English as a second language, … Continue reading Word Confusion →

Ghost Arriving Before Halloween

I am talking with two friends in a cafe. One of them asks me to look at a picture on his laptop. I lean over and stare at the screen. Minutes later, when our attentions come back to the hot tea arriving at our table, we notice the other friend's absence. At first we think … Continue reading Ghost Arriving Before Halloween →

The Thrill And Peril Of Imitation

Living in the Asian community in New Jersey, one can't help learning stories about engineers and scientists. One of these widely circulated stories is this: A newcomer in one of the research institutions, where people are madly nerdy and competitive, finds that everybody in the department is sharpening their pencils with a knife. Everybody has … Continue reading The Thrill And Peril Of Imitation →

Insomnia vs. Somnia

"Somnia" is not a word; "insomnia" is. That's just English. Non-native speakers (like me) beware. There are as many exceptions to the rules as those that follow the rules. Not only many words starting with "in" don't have corresponding antonyms that lose the prefix "in", but also some "in" and non-"in" pairs completely disregard the … Continue reading Insomnia vs. Somnia →

Things I Want To Do But Can’t

Such a beautiful day today that one just wants to go out and walk about, but instead one's stuck here staring at the computer screen. Sunny, a few clouds floating decoratively, 72 degrees, humidity not too high to mess up the hair and not too low to dry up the skin. There are only ten … Continue reading Things I Want To Do But Can’t →

Event Before Election

"Have you registered to vote?" The lady behind the thick plate of glass asked. "No." I answered."Why do you answer for her? I am asking her?" The lady said, pointing to my friend W. I translated for W and W shook her head. So I said "No" across the glass barrier again."Do you want to … Continue reading Event Before Election →

Can’t Live With Or Without Impulse

I hate impulses, especially impulse purchase. I went to Trader Joe's today and bought a big bunch of things. Completely over my budget. Do I really need the "Tomato Basil Hummus"? No, but it is so good that I can finish the whole thing before I start my dinner. Do I really need the one … Continue reading Can’t Live With Or Without Impulse →

Things Coming To Mind While Driving

I've had four consecutive days of insomnia, which was barely controlled by taking cold medicine even if I don't have a cold. Knock on the wood. I will make sure I don't have cold or flu this coming winter since any cold symptom is a suspect for the more serious COVID-19. It's ten hours ago … Continue reading Things Coming To Mind While Driving →

Courage Misunderstood

My friend Y once told me that he had traveled to Russia and Ukraine to run his small business of selling household goods. That in itself is not terribly uncommon since I heard of Asians businessmen carrying goods to Russia to sell and carrying Russian specialties back. So I asked him if he's afraid since … Continue reading Courage Misunderstood →

A Mild Heartbreak

I am not really nursing a broken heart, but I am trying to use the word "heart" and "break" in the title, like Shaw's "Hearbreak House" or Wallace's essay on a tennis star who broke his heart--I can't remember the exact title or the star's name. Too lazy to look it up. My heartbreak is … Continue reading A Mild Heartbreak →

At The Store

She stared at the money I handed over as if she wanted to say something, so I said, "No changes. I don't want any change." She said, "All right. But do you have 80 cents?" I hesitated and then pretended to look into the inner crease of my wallet, which held coins more than a … Continue reading At The Store →

What Does It Mean?

What does the word "russet" mean? Also words like "orb", "presage", "quaff", "brogue", "dirigible", "druid", "patisserie"? I have no idea. Some of them I've already looked up at least several times, but still I forget what the meaning. It must be my disappointing memory, but that's another story for another day. It sounds rather exhausting … Continue reading What Does It Mean? →