Life Goes On

You scream, you curse, you throw items to the wall–make sure they are non-valuable low-impact items so that you don’t feel bad for the item or the wall later on. You send “rescue me” messages to others to vent your anger. You think about existential questions like why you were born, why you live. You discuss with your friends what has molded you into this polite reserved girl who never expresses anything but gratitude and agreement while feeling riotous and rebellious inside. You even think about packing up and flying across the Pacific–just to quit it once for all.

Of course you can’t quit it once for all. Even a flight across the Pacific cannot achieve that. Separation is impossible when social media connects all of us forever–we are doomed.

It is easier for people to quit in the bad old days. It is easier to quit and easier to die in those days. An inflamed appendix or a virus will finish you off. If that’s unachievable, do something frivolous like showing a little skin, kissing somebody or something beyond what you are sanctioned to do, or refusing to cook for a week. That will scandalize the whole clan and you are surely to land in a witch trial, or be stoned to death right away to save the time and the court expense.

However, swiftness is a luxury that modern people don’t possess. We have the gritty grinding life that roasts us slowly. It is so humane and so justified.

Now I feel I calm down. I am a little ashamed that I lost my temper. It’s not that bad. Stop thinking about dark thoughts and come back to continue until I finish.

Now let’s think about what to do with a project that we are not crazy about. It can be any project–a meeting, a gathering, a dinner, a writing, anything really.

You can wriggle out of it by claiming that you are mysteriously ill. This is pretty easy to do, especially during the pandemic. People will believe in illness quite readily. The down side of it is that you might scare people off for a long time, probably until the middle of next year when the vaccine is administered to all, hopefully. By the way, it is said for Asians the effectiveness is only 89% while for other races it is above 95%. Well, 89% sounds good enough as long as it doesn’t cause facial paralysis. I don’t know what that is and how serious it is, but it does sound terrible.

You can procrastinate. We all know how to do that. If our schooling taught us anything, it’s procrastination. Some actually become expert procrastinators, very inventive and convincing in their excuses. Of course you are going to feel guilty, or even dread the approaching steps of the impending deadline. However guilt and dread are very likely easier to handle than undertaking the unpleasant task.

You can try to unload the project onto somebody else. This may not be easy to do since a stinky project will stink everywhere and nobody wants it. However you may be able to unload it onto somebody who wants it only for the experience, good or bad. Or you may be able to make a deal with somebody to get the project off your hand.

Actually what most likely to happen is that we just bite the bullet with the help of prescription drugs like Prozac; or with the help of non-prescription drugs like alcohol.

Now I vent my frustrations and I feel good.

Life goes on.

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