Try not to reflect. Whenever I do reflect, I find a lot to regret about. This is why I never like to reflect or meditate or look back. The past is like an endless list of embarrassing moments, unfulfilled desires, flawed decisions. Even if those things I did well, I can see that I could do better or could do it with better style etc.
Take today for example. I should have done laundry this morning, but I didn’t; I should have washed all the dirty dishes, but I didn’t; I should have read some of my TBR list for this month by now, but I didn’t read much; I should have exercised today, but I didn’t. I should have gone out in such a beautiful day, but I didn’t. I am quite listless today.
I don’t know why democrats are so happy today. Don’t they think about four years later there might come another republican who holds more extreme views and who would win by a landslide? Trump is almost even with Biden, even though there’s a pandemic going on and unemployment is rampant, even though Trump has done a lot to undermine his own reelection. Considering all this, Trump is not doing bad at all. Also there are 7 million more votes for him in 2020 than in 2016. Is this an indication that he’s becoming more popular? I don’t understand why these 7 million people didn’t go out to vote in 2016? Anyway, I somehow feel there will be more extreme politics in the future, for which minorities and immigrants will suffer more than anybody else. Mark my words today. Four years later, I will show this post as the proof of my clairvoyance.
Can’t think about the past and can’t think about the future. What can I do? Live in the present and think about things that will bring good luck. And pray. Am I becoming a Buddhist?
Haoyan Do 
my dad once told me, “三十年河东，三十年河西”
but for the time being, i will try to do what you mentioned in that last paragraph – live in the present, celebrate our wins (however marginally scraped) and pray for good luck
this is all far from over – but a small win in america is better than none
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Yes, you are right. Live in the present and don’t overthink about life. Whenever I talk about my pessimistic views, my older relatives always tell me that I have no rights to be this way. I’ve never experienced famine, war, flood, real destitution, forced drafting by bandits as well as government armies, escaping the advancing enemies leaving all your livestock and property behind. My grandma lost all her jewelry. Compared to that, I agree we have no rights to be pessimistic.
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Yes! Very true. It is incredible how much our ancestors (and even my parents, when I think of their journey to the States, how their childhoods were filled with famine and poverty…) endured. History has not always been kind…. We are relatively fortunate to be where we are. Even though America is divided, and there are certainly MANY problems, I think to how lucky we are to not have experienced the extent of violence and poverty that many other nations have and continue to experience. That being said, who knows what will happen in the future? So knock on wood, haha. But yes- to your point – there is a lot to be grateful for..
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