Try not to reflect. Whenever I do reflect, I find a lot to regret about. This is why I never like to reflect or meditate or look back. The past is like an endless list of embarrassing moments, unfulfilled desires, flawed decisions. Even if those things I did well, I can see that I could do better or could do it with better style etc.
Take today for example. I should have done laundry this morning, but I didn’t; I should have washed all the dirty dishes, but I didn’t; I should have read some of my TBR list for this month by now, but I didn’t read much; I should have exercised today, but I didn’t. I should have gone out in such a beautiful day, but I didn’t. I am quite listless today.
I don’t know why democrats are so happy today. Don’t they think about four years later there might come another republican who holds more extreme views and who would win by a landslide? Trump is almost even with Biden, even though there’s a pandemic going on and unemployment is rampant, even though Trump has done a lot to undermine his own reelection. Considering all this, Trump is not doing bad at all. Also there are 7 million more votes for him in 2020 than in 2016. Is this an indication that he’s becoming more popular? I don’t understand why these 7 million people didn’t go out to vote in 2016? Anyway, I somehow feel there will be more extreme politics in the future, for which minorities and immigrants will suffer more than anybody else. Mark my words today. Four years later, I will show this post as the proof of my clairvoyance.
Can’t think about the past and can’t think about the future. What can I do? Live in the present and think about things that will bring good luck. And pray. Am I becoming a Buddhist?