Alia only wanted to make things a little bit fun and less didactic. However once she unplugged the fun bottle, things started to get weird. This morning, she found a little piece of paper on her desk, saying "I don't know how to spell because I am not a witch." Anybody could have entered her … Continue reading The Boy Who Cries “Fire”
Author: haoyando
An Improbable Debate
When Genghis Khan was getting old, people around him were bickering more than ever. Too much was at stake. The one who could influence him most won not only for the time being, but also for the time after his impending death. He was old, forgetful, often dozing off during meetings. He couldn't digest the … Continue reading An Improbable Debate
Wednesday, Not Tuesday
https://twitter.com/Haoyando/status/1357101310852612097 I even forgot today is Wednesday. Am I losing my mind? The book is falling apart with pages breaking away one by one. A little touch of my finger, a page is off from the binding edge. Also my failed sweet rice chicken dish is waiting for me (in its most unappetizing way) from … Continue reading Wednesday, Not Tuesday
I Can’t Believe This
Shoveling snow is a depressing job. And it might cause some unexpected effects, like weird thoughts rushing into one's mind. I really thought about this when shoveling snow: In heaven, when people first meet, the question they ask each other will not be "what's your job" or "where are you from", but rather "how did … Continue reading I Can’t Believe This
Digging Out
Spend the whole morning digging out. Just ten miles south of Edison, there's no snow, only rain. How unfair. However New York City is getting more than 2 feet of snow, I heard. So can't complain. https://twitter.com/Haoyando/status/1356677015286464513
The Chef And The Snow Storm
It's rumored that Shanzu was a little orphaned girl, living among the urban poor in the capital city of Chang'an during Tang Dynasty, which was about 1400 years ago. It seemed that fate had doomed her in the beginning of her life's journey. What prospect could she have other than being an illiterate servant girl, … Continue reading The Chef And The Snow Storm
Haiku: Snowy Day
Little flakes of festivityfalling softly, silently, gently,hold trees, rooftops, cars in frosty embrace. "Downy ecstasy", "silver sunlight", "wedding cake",analogies effuse, admiration abounds,I have to agree. But I can't help thinking aboutdirty road edges, parking lots with brownish mountain piles,not going away for another two weeks.
My Special Diet
I owe my little "fame" on this special diet to the ex-prime minister of Japan, Shinzo Abe, who resigned last year due to health issues. Suddenly his illness, ulcerative colitis, was in the news, with a little paragraph describing his suffering and his battle to get better. Several of my friends, who had been skeptical … Continue reading My Special Diet
The Salt Truck, The Overflowing Cart, And 35,000 Choices
Does each person really make about 35,000 choices every day? I heard it several times, but it is a little hard to believe. This morning, the temperature was in teens--this is in Fahrenheit, not in Celsius, which usually takes quite a while for an immigrant to get used to. Even the facial wipes in my … Continue reading The Salt Truck, The Overflowing Cart, And 35,000 Choices
Organize Vs. Disorganize
I know several people who are so organized that they know exactly what they did ten years ago today and they know exactly what they are going to do ten years later today. I am not exaggerating. If you ask L what she did ten years ago today, she would pull out one little booklet … Continue reading Organize Vs. Disorganize
Clueless
There should be a complete idiot's guide to commonly used terms and slang. The book "Black Rednecks and White Liberals" by Thomas Sowell really makes this guide more necessary than ever, for me at least. What is a redneck, a liberal, a conservative, a Quaker, a Methodist, an abolitionist, a New Englander etc.? I vaguely … Continue reading Clueless
Super Bowl And Lunar New Year
The Super Bowl and Lunar New Year usually happen within ten days of each other, but they never fall on the same day. One is decided by somebody in NFL, and the other is decided by the moon or some other celestial powers. The two don't communicate with each other when the dates are determined, … Continue reading Super Bowl And Lunar New Year
Lost In Paradise
What will happen when negotiations fail? I mean in our life, in politics, in a relationship. The consequence of failed negotiations has been played out live from Fiji, an archipelago in South Pacific with less than one million residents. Whether the events in Fuji has implications for other countries or regions, I don't really know. … Continue reading Lost In Paradise
January 2021 Book List
"Aria Da Capo" by Edna St. Vincent Millay. I somehow suspect that this one act play with an incomprehensible title is based on the infamous Stanford psychology experiment. Once people get into a situation, in this case an artificial wall and in Stanford's case an artificial prison, people tend to act according to the new … Continue reading January 2021 Book List
A Message From LinkedIn
I can't believe I am still following him. LinkedIn sent me a message last night telling me that he posts one new year message and he hasn't been posting any message for a while. He is not into social media; he doesn't post messages or write blogs. Actually we have no contact in the last … Continue reading A Message From LinkedIn
An Afternoon With Champ
Lulu: "He hasn't been moving for the last ten minutes, his eyes closed. I don't know what he is doing just sitting there. Meditating probably? Is he a Buddhist?" Ivy: "He does that before he starts anything serious. Don't worry. He will open his eyes and you can start the session. You have three hours, … Continue reading An Afternoon With Champ
The Difference
A while ago, K told me that she had to move because her neighbor was too loud. Now she lives somewhere at a top floor apartment, in a manicured little gated community, in a township for which she's one of few Asians. Of course it must be close to a major transportation hub--either NJ transit … Continue reading The Difference
A Woman And Her Store
Let's just say her name is Vi and she is selling her little store, which she has been the owner for the last fifteen years or so. Let's just say the buyer's name is Tai, for whom I've done translation off and on for many years. The store is in the Princeton area and the … Continue reading A Woman And Her Store
Differences Big And Small
Writing is much more preferable to speaking, especially when English is concerned. Let's just take vowels for example. I can't distinguish between "pet","port", "pot", "pat", "part". They all sound the same to me. This means whether you are telling me you own a cat, a harbor, a cooking utensil, or a role in a TV … Continue reading Differences Big And Small
18% Oxygen
https://twitter.com/Haoyando/status/1351596520274075649 How can one know if a room has less than 18% oxygen? LOL. I try to recall the high school chemistry classes, which happened such a long time ago. Is there an easy way to know the percentage of the oxygen in the air? I mean is there something called oxygen-meter that can check … Continue reading 18% Oxygen
The Favorite Of 2020
I dislike competitions and strive to avoid them as best as I can, because competitions always make me feel dreadful. If I lose, I feel bad; If I win, I feel bad for people who haven't won, and simultaneously I also can't help wondering if the sense of triumph is shallow, short-lived, giving me the … Continue reading The Favorite Of 2020
Thoughts New And Old
Growing up, I've never heard any of my neighbors having any trouble with the police. Of course that's very much a half rural, almost un-industrialized environment where almost everybody knows everybody else. Even if you don't know that particular person, you know somebody who knows him. The unemployment rate is very high among young people … Continue reading Thoughts New And Old
The Unwilling Student
Lulu:"Aberration is not a difficult word to learn, Di. It's like the word abnormal, meaning something that is not normal. We just learned abnormal last week, didn't we?" Di:"So, why not just use the word abnormal?" Di is a 12-year-old boy, about to start middle school at Plainsboro, New Jersey. Lulu drives 25 miles once … Continue reading The Unwilling Student
Breach Of Resolution
Only two weeks into 2021, let me count all the breaches of my new year's resolutions. I know it is a little too soon, isn't it? What can I do? #1 breach: I won't watch any show about cooking or eating in 2021. That was my resolution, but in the past two weeks, I've watched … Continue reading Breach Of Resolution
No Exercise
I've tried every possible way to make at home exercise more pleasant, or rather less painful, but to no avail. I still haven't exercised despite trying to get myself to do it the entire week. DVD, online videos, Fitness Marshall series, book reading while throwing limbs back and forth, making an exercise plan, imagining good … Continue reading No Exercise
Every Time I Drive By
Every time I drive pass Roosevelt Park, I think about forgetting you. In that long forgotten corner not far from the parking lot, the basketball courts, and the lake, we had our picnic. I forget exactly what I did and didn't do-- eating, chatting, sitting, walking, but what I really want to forget is your … Continue reading Every Time I Drive By
Without Concentration
No concentration today. I have a lot to do, but my mind just seems not interested in the goal anymore. Probably because yesterday I wrote something about politics, and I did it in the mildest way possible, but still somehow I feel somebody is annoyed at my post. However I don't want to change just … Continue reading Without Concentration
To Call or Not to Call
To call or not to call, it's a dilemma since the invention of telephone. For years, no contact; for ages, only ten miles apart. I want to call you, to hear you say you are OK, not sick, not forgetting me, not attached. Well, I am not too ambitious-- just not sick will be sufficient. … Continue reading To Call or Not to Call
Misbehavior
"Aria Da Capo" is a very short play by Edna St. Vincent Millay. I somehow suspect that this one act play with an incomprehensible title is based on the infamous Stanford psychology experiment. Once people get into a situation, in this case an artificial wall and in Stanford's case an artificial prison, people tend to … Continue reading Misbehavior
Good, Bad And Things In Between
There are no good books about Asia in English. I just can’t find any good books. If anybody read a good one, please let me know. I am so desperate for some good books in this direction that I have to read books about the Pacific Theater of WWII. I dislike books on wars, but … Continue reading Good, Bad And Things In Between
Difference And Similarity (2)
Click Here For Difference And Similarity (1) Lulu doesn't know why Cindy wants to Iowa. Can't she just find a writer's workshop in New Jersey or somewhere close by? Lulu doesn't want to ask in case it is a common knowledge and the very inquiry reveals her ignorance. Lulu's proud that she's read a lot … Continue reading Difference And Similarity (2)
Difference And Similarity (1)
Lulu wants to scream, "How could you do that?" But she checks herself and produces a smile instead. Cindy, in the meantime, digs into her fried rice with a spoon. Cindy asked for a spoon when they ordered their entries, and Lulu, observing the raised eyebrows of the waiter above his face mask, felt faintly … Continue reading Difference And Similarity (1)
Predictions
The TV show "Alpha House"(of eight years ago) has one episode about the chaotic scenes after an overenthusiastic republican senator pulls out a gun to assert her rights to bear firearms in the hallway of the Capital. She is a beauty with straight blonde hair, sweet smile and a true killer attitude. The alarm is … Continue reading Predictions
Battle For Gift
Armei: "Every long term customer can choose a free gift pack for 2021. Pammy, the biggest gift pack is for you." Armei is the shop assistant of a popular cosmetic store in Edison, New Jersey, which sells Asian cosmetic items. It used to specialize in Shiseido, the overpriced Japanese brand, but in recent years, due … Continue reading Battle For Gift
Throwing Away
I need to start throwing away things because there are just too much stuff. I actually made a rule in 2019 that if I buy one item, I will make sure to throw away one item. Of course this is a rule that has no teeth and no claw to help me adjust my behavior. … Continue reading Throwing Away
Compartmentalization
has been practiced by Pammy quite successfully for years until Lulu spoils it. Lulu, the unemployed anthropologist who can't land a job anywhere except in the local tutoring school, arguably the best after school program in Asian immigrant communities in New Jersey. It's a place where anxious parents send their unwilling offspring for extra lessons. … Continue reading Compartmentalization
The Beginning Of 2021
The scene opens to the interior of a restaurant, all tables and chairs piled up to one corner, except one table with a white table cloth and scattered mahjong tiles on top. Mr. Wei, the owner of the restaurant "Pacific Palace", is playing mahjong with Chef Li and two waiters. On one side of the … Continue reading The Beginning Of 2021
Not Crying Wolf
Armei says when she's applying a fresh coat of paint on her nails, "Lulu, dear, can't you write something more interesting? Like a romantic story that women like to read? I mean you are so intelligent and I hate to see you like this--writing things that nobody wants to read." Lulu says, "Armei, I'm not … Continue reading Not Crying Wolf
Jack Of All Trade
Susan the director: "Nora Dickinson, you look exactly like Jane Millay I interviewed yesterday." Lan the actress: "My name is actually Lanlan Wong, but I have to change it. Otherwise I can't get any interview for any part in Hollywood. You know Nora Ephron, Emily Dickinson, Jane Austen and Edna St. Vincent Millay are my … Continue reading Jack Of All Trade
New Year’s Resolutions
Avoid carbohydrate as much as possible. I know this is impossible to achieve. I've been trying to do this for years, only succeeding in making carbohydrate more appealing to me. It's with great self restraint that rivals the most lauded stoic figure in history that I stopped myself today from buying sticky rice snacks at … Continue reading New Year’s Resolutions
Finished And Unfinished In December
"The History of Sexuality, Vol. 1: An Introduction" By Michel Foucault. The first two chapters are exhilarating, but for the rest I just can't understand. Maybe philosophy is just not my thing. I have to re-read it one day when I have the energy. I miss my days as a teenager and twenty something when … Continue reading Finished And Unfinished In December
Express Yourself
Inverbalization is not a valid word, but it should be. It means one wants to verbally express something but can't even though there's no obstacle to stop one from expressing. It could be the force of habit. If a person grow up in an environment that doesn't encourage him to speak up--actually it could be … Continue reading Express Yourself
Richard The Red Nosed Brother
"Red nose" is a hereditary trait, passing from fathers to sons. One day, Richard, the red nosed brother of Rudolph, comes knocking at the door of Rudolph's office. "Hello, Rudie, how's going? Long time no see." Richard says. "Hello, there, Rich, what are you up to? You are gaining weight, aren't you? Last week when … Continue reading Richard The Red Nosed Brother
Santa Travels
Santa is going to travel to Penang, a popular tropical island off the coast of Malaysia, but his entourage of reindeer are reluctant to accompany him. "That's not our natural habitat. I sweat too much." One says. "The sleigh doesn't work well in tropical climate." Says another. "Look, I have a list here of all … Continue reading Santa Travels
A Tragicomic Love Story
Armei said, "Look, I've got two more lines at the corner of my right eye. Time is very cruel. The majority of our life is spent on watching ourselves getting older gradually." Lu said, "Are you seriously counting those lines? I know a tragicomic love story in which a girl grows from a 17-year-old girl … Continue reading A Tragicomic Love Story
Interview Before Christmas
My friend is going to have a Zoom interview before Christmas and she has been dreading the terrifying moment for a week now. Interviews are usually hard to deal with. Interviews are especially hard to deal with for introverts, for people who tend to be nervous and diffident, for women above a certain age. If … Continue reading Interview Before Christmas
Let It Snow
It's really not too bad, only a foot of snow. In certain parts of nearby states like New York and Connecticut, it can be two feet. One would think global warming has made snow obsolete for the latitude and the altitude we are in. For the past three years, it seems true. We've had no … Continue reading Let It Snow
Stories We Tell During A Snow Storm
They are stuck in the house, a snow storm raging outside. "Why don't we tell our love stories. One each." Pammy says, looking at her husband Pan, her friend Armei, and her friend Lu. "I am not going to be part of your girl talk. Leave me alone. I will go watch my favorite show … Continue reading Stories We Tell During A Snow Storm
Mini Story: Before The Storm
Pan, the husband:"Are you sure we need so much bread? By the way, I eat my sticky rice balls and rice noodles. I am not a bread person." Pammy, the wife:"We can be stuck at home for a week. It's a big storm with two feet of snow in some parts of New Jersey. Rice … Continue reading Mini Story: Before The Storm
Mini Story: The White Haired Man
Pammy is the first to spot him, the white haired man who's sitting on a bench, which is obviously placed there by the restaurant "Tofu House" for waiting customers. If New Jersey is a state known for the number of diners, Edison should be a township known for its strip malls since it has so … Continue reading Mini Story: The White Haired Man
Christmas Lights
For years, we have been practicing this holiday routine of driving in the surrounding neighborhoods in search of the house with the best Christmas lights. In order to do that, you have to have several friends in one car, driving around to comment, evaluate, praise the arrangement, the variation, the scale of the lights on … Continue reading Christmas Lights
Holiday Shopping
If something is oversized, you want to think it over. That's the first rule for holiday shopping. It's a two pound ball in a deep red dress, smiling at me and begging me to take it. So my heart takes a little leap and I give in. A two pound pomegranate reminds me of my … Continue reading Holiday Shopping
Life Goes On
You scream, you curse, you throw items to the wall--make sure they are non-valuable low-impact items so that you don't feel bad for the item or the wall later on. You send "rescue me" messages to others to vent your anger. You think about existential questions like why you were born, why you live. You … Continue reading Life Goes On
Monkey’s View On Equality
It is said that when scientists gave one monkey a grape in exchange for its pebble, and gave the second monkey a slice of cucumber for its pebble, it caused a little row. For monkeys, grapes taste better than cucumber slices. The second monkey, when observing the better deal the first monkey received, rebelled immediately … Continue reading Monkey’s View On Equality
Drama In Asian Restaurant
https://twitter.com/Haoyando/status/1336750990666706947 This picture doesn't do justice to the cute restaurant in this local strip mall. It was a little snowy outside and I was driving past it to go to the Kam Man grocery store to buy lunch. The tents used to look much better during the summer months, more shiny, more in shape, certainly … Continue reading Drama In Asian Restaurant
Weekday Outburst
Two women meet in the grocery store. They are very happy to see each other and it looks like they haven't seen each other for a while, glad to accidentally meet in one of the refrigerator aisles. They talk and talk. At the checkout, one woman says loudly, “It’s the doom’s day. We are too … Continue reading Weekday Outburst
Mini Story: After The Thanksgiving Dinner
The prolonged leave taking is finally done. Pammy and her husband Pan get in the car, which sputters at first, as if it too is stuffed with endless flow of holiday food, too full to exert its engine. Pan had a great time, but even when he's talking with Lau effusively about whether to get … Continue reading Mini Story: After The Thanksgiving Dinner
How To Give Delicate Advice
"What do you think?" or "What will you do if it were you?" You are pressed to say something on a delicate situation, for which you'd rather have no opinion or pretend not to have an opinion. The situation becomes more dire when it concerns your friend's love life. If you don't give an answer, … Continue reading How To Give Delicate Advice
Misconception And Misinterpretation
I am not surprised that there are so much disinformation, conspiracy theories, frauds, fraudulent claims of fraud right now. The reason is that as an immigrant, I am used to misconceptions and misinterpretations for years. The English we had learned in classroom is not the English people really use here; The stories of immigrants we … Continue reading Misconception And Misinterpretation
The First Try
Someone said, "The first experience can never be repeated. The first love, the first sunrise…" and I agreed immediately, being good-natured as I am, afraid of offending by disagreement, eager to smooth things over at the expense of self expression. However, I don't agree with such an overt admiration for the "first". There are just … Continue reading The First Try
A Road Trip
If your friend suggests a road trip together during the holiday season to visit another friend in a different state, please be strong and deny it right away despite the fact that you heart is tinkling with the desire for some activities. You have to be firm and don't betray any sign of hesitation or … Continue reading A Road Trip
November Reading Wrap-up 2
Click Here For Wrap Up 1 What's the point of making a to-be-read plan, but leaving most of the list unread in the end. I knew I was not going to follow the list anyway. When it turned out just as I predicted, I felt vindicated of my own wisdom. "Knowing yourself, that's knowledge." An … Continue reading November Reading Wrap-up 2
Dreary Topic And Dreary Day
I really don't want to write this since I have no interest in politics. I uphold the long Asian tradition--staying away from politics and governments as much as we can, even to our own disadvantage. However I have to write this to get it off my chest. There's no better time of doing this than … Continue reading Dreary Topic And Dreary Day
Thankful Reflections
I think we should all be thankful to others this year. However that's not what I want to talk about here, which is being thankful to ourselves. Many of us don't feel that we are being appreciated enough. Part of the reason is that we don't thank ourselves enough. Worse, some of us even hate … Continue reading Thankful Reflections
To Go Or Not To Go
Please don't ask me whether we should go shopping on black Friday. I won't answer that question. If you have already made up your mind of going or not going, do not plague your friends with your soliciting tone, "what do you think? To go or not to go?" I know a couple who would … Continue reading To Go Or Not To Go
Holiday Evolution
Holiday cooking is a happy hazard, meaning it is never perfect and something a little hazardous is bound to happen to twist the holiday cheers. It is almost an old tired tune to repeat if I say turkey was only cooked once in the past ten years and there are several reasons for it. First … Continue reading Holiday Evolution
Happy And Happier
One thing good about the holiday season is that one feels happy about one's own grumpiness. All the stress of experiencing cheerful things, the boredom of shopping trips, the mental anxiety of trying to say something less like holiday cliches can add up and make anybody grumpy. But we tell ourselves, "it's a holiday. We … Continue reading Happy And Happier
Poem: The Holiday Haul
Morning sunlight pale, shadow of floating cloud chill. A half full parking lot, many full carts of goods, whether you need or need not. One in T-shirt, with cool words printed on, deliberately non-provoking. One in winter boots, not for the feet, but for the beautiful legs. One in jacket, an expensive fading grey color. … Continue reading Poem: The Holiday Haul
Remember Or Not
My friend said his father is getting forgetful, but his father's doctor told them that his cognitive ability is at the top 5% of his age group. The family should be celebrating rather than worrying about his mental state. So I asked how the doctor made the judgement call and my friend said the doctor … Continue reading Remember Or Not
Poem: A Windy Monday
The howling sound, the waving bare branches. Your age old greetings, timely every fall, dreaded every winter. Clouds are pushed here and there, fallen leaves swept away. What's not fixed or tied down flown off. Gone is the past season of fear that virus spread through the air. Holidays are here, relief is near, hopes … Continue reading Poem: A Windy Monday
Poem: In Season
It's an eccentric fruit, in color, shape, structure, pronunciation, and spelling--pomegranate. Suddenly it shows up in stores, some in piles, some in bins, some big--more than one pound each, some small as a tennis ball. The seeds are so red, almost hurting your eyes; eating them are so messy, hands sticky, face splashed red. "But … Continue reading Poem: In Season
The Happy Surprises
I woke up this morning, surprised that I had a good sleep last night. Insomnia gone, headache nonexistent. Sometimes happiness descends from nowhere. I almost felt that I don't deserve it. Have you ever experienced the moment when your friend did or said something that happily surprised you? I have this friend who's so gentle … Continue reading The Happy Surprises
To Admire A Place
The best way to admire a place is from a distance. Once you live there, it's a very different story. I know a couple who admired a house in South Brunswick township for a year when it was being built--that was years ago when many new development were happening there--and as soon as it came … Continue reading To Admire A Place
How To Fight The Winter Blue
I guess this is all caused by the fact that the sun set at 4:40PM and darkness swallows several hours of an afternoon. The crisp autumn air and the mild temperature cannot save the day when daylight shrinks so much. When you have the winter blue, just think about those people who live closer than … Continue reading How To Fight The Winter Blue
Mini Story List
Stories about Armei, Pammy and Lu Trouble With LanguageThree Women On PoliticsThe Manager Of The Bamboo PalaceThe Sales TrainingAfter The Thanksgiving DinnerThe White Haired ManBefore The Storm The Thrill And Peril Of Love The Driving LessonA Non-Greek TragedyChul And JoolThe Battle Of Love Stories From Memory A Cat And A Train RideAn Awkward PortraitMy Cousin's … Continue reading Mini Story List
Mini Story: The Bamboo Palace
The Bamboo Palace is owned by Victor and his wife Mai. Victor is the owner's English nickname, which was chosen when he first arrived in America more than thirty years ago, obviously for its victorious meaning. Since then, people have gradually started to call him Brother Vi due to his rising reputation in the immigrant … Continue reading Mini Story: The Bamboo Palace
Mini Story: Three Women (Part 2)
Click Here For Part 1 "I don't understand why Democrats are so happy? I mean the election is so close even if there's a pandemic and there's a big unemployment number. Four years later, I bet it's going to be Republican again. Probably somebody more extreme." Lu said. Armei and Pammy paused their conversation and … Continue reading Mini Story: Three Women (Part 2)
Haoyan Do 