Santa Travels

Santa is going to travel to Penang, a popular tropical island off the coast of Malaysia, but his entourage of reindeer are reluctant to accompany him.

“That’s not our natural habitat. I sweat too much.” One says.

“The sleigh doesn’t work well in tropical climate.” Says another.

“Look, I have a list here of all the past mishaps in the tropics we encountered.” The red nosed Rudolph says. “Let’s present this list to Santa to plead our case.”

“Are you sure, Rudie? The economy is no good and Santa might just fire us all. It used to be that reindeer have no living cost, and we just hunt and gather grass and leaves if we are hungry, but nowadays, it’s a capitalist society. We all have to have jobs, either to draw a sleigh, perform in a zoo, pose in selfies with hikers, assist biologists, or answer survey questions given out by environmentalists or statisticians to help them publish their papers. It’s all seasonal work. This gig with Santa is my biggest. I don’t want to lose it.”

“No worries. Please review this list first and let’s form a union.” Rudolph says. The reindeer all come over to read Rudolph’s list. It says:

  • None of the houses has a chimney and Santa has no way of entering without arousing the family.
  • Santa’s red coat is baking him alive and I have to rush to a store in Singapore to buy a red silk robe with white fringe for him. However Santa thought it looked like a bath robe and refused to wear it.
  • In the tropical area, people shower several times a day. Our team haven’t arranged for possible shower places along our routes.
  • Older residents have never heard of Santa before and they don’t want to let Santa in; younger residents are so enthusiastic about Santa that they don’t want to let him leave.
  • The sound of sleigh bells is often misunderstood by the residents as the warning sign of a typhoon, a tsunami, or a komodo dragon.
  • The students from the anthropology department of the local university kidnapped Santa and forced him to give lectures on his life in arctic circle.
  • People kept on asking weird questions like, “Who do you prefer, Christ or Buddha?” “Are you one of the three wise men?” “Are you a religious figure or a secular figure?”
  • People insist on him trying strange fruits, like dragon fruit, rambutan, durian and will not take no for an answer. Some vacated their bedroom and insisted that Santa should sleep the night.

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