Author: haoyando

November Reading Wrap-up 1

"Pangs of Love" by David Wong LouieI suffered a lot while reading "The Barbarians Are Coming", but as soon as I finish it, I take on this book. Do I ever learn? Am I an incorrigible self torturer? The first story "Birthday" is like "The Barbarians Are Coming" (BAC), deja vu all over again. The … Continue reading November Reading Wrap-up 1 →

When I Look At This

Last night I stared at this picture, but no sleepiness comes. By the way I checked the copyright of this picture, for which the painter Redon died in 1919, more than 100 years ago and I guess we can post the image just as freely as we can with Van Gogh. I've never had a … Continue reading When I Look At This →

Mini Story: Three Women (Part 1)

It's Nov. 9, 2020, a Monday. Every Monday afternoon, Lu, Pammy, and Armei met at Armei's little cosmetic store, specializing in Asian cosmetic brands. It's not really Armei's store. She's just a shop assistant. Monday is slow and a perfect time to meet her friends. If the owner of the store happened to come in, … Continue reading Mini Story: Three Women (Part 1) →

Today’s Mishaps

Insomnia is overlooked by people. Nobody considers it as a sickness but it is. It has almost no remedy and people who suffer from it have a nightly dread of going to bed. Although I failed with valerian roots, I am thinking of trying chamomile next. Will meditation work? https://www.instagram.com/p/CHb7tGSH8nP/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link Thinking about friendships... https://www.instagram.com/p/CHbv-kGngsA I … Continue reading Today’s Mishaps →

How Lucky You Are

Shermei, Shermei, You don't know how lucky you are. You've never lived in a flooded house, your only shelter, standing on a little stool to eat your meal. You've never lived through a famine,when a chicken in the black market would cost a month's salary. You've never encountered social turmoils, when bandits came to draft … Continue reading How Lucky You Are →

Blocked And Unblocked

I am completely and probably irreversibly blocked right now after reading a book about blogging, which says what one wants to write is not what others want to read. It sounds really true. Just think about our own life experiences--what we really want to say is often not what other people want to hear. The … Continue reading Blocked And Unblocked →

November’s Bad Poems

It's the ugly child of poem that only I can love. Leaves Everywhere https://www.instagram.com/p/CHObA3_Hjut/ I saw her at the Asian grocery store here several times. She must be living nearby. She walked so purposefully into the store as if she's marching towards a battlefield. To battle what? I don't know. A battle with veggies? When … Continue reading November’s Bad Poems →

Thoughts At The End Of The Day

Try not to reflect. Whenever I do reflect, I find a lot to regret about. This is why I never like to reflect or meditate or look back. The past is like an endless list of embarrassing moments, unfulfilled desires, flawed decisions. Even if those things I did well, I can see that I could … Continue reading Thoughts At The End Of The Day →

Capacity And Incapacity

I haven't calculated anything for ages. Even the monthly budget and expenses are done by the spreadsheet automatically. Suddenly I find myself unable to calculate numbers. Actually very easy numbers. If 87% is reporting in Nevada, Biden has 627,104, Trump has 606,967 votes. What's the total number of Nevada votes and the remaining uncounted votes? … Continue reading Capacity And Incapacity →

Comprehend A Little Bit More

Although I didn't watch it on Tuesday night, I spent many hours watching last night, throwing aside other things I need to do. I really don't understand why many swing states can't finish counting their votes while all the non-swing states have no trouble at all to finish the counting on election night--except Alaska. These … Continue reading Comprehend A Little Bit More →

Comprehend The Incomprehensible

The electoral college is as as mysterious as American football to me. I can understand neither. It's rules, its operations, its strategies--all mystery. I guess many immigrants are like me because the rest of the world don't have the electoral college system except in those rare places and on rare occasions. The same happens to … Continue reading Comprehend The Incomprehensible →

I Am Not Going To Watch Tonight

I used to watch TV for hours and hours on election night. What a crash course on American politics. Pundits, commentators, reporters all come out to analyze the past, the present, the exit polls, the historical similarities and differences with past elections. Reagan and Nixon are mentioned very often, which I don't know why. How … Continue reading I Am Not Going To Watch Tonight →

Computer Puns

I only knew cat lovers love to conjure up puns for their purr-fect pets, but I didn't know computers have so many pun-able words too. I only just discover this. One can never underestimate one's ignorance. It's not that I didn't know these words; I just never connected them with puns. They are hiding in … Continue reading Computer Puns →

Learning Is Difficult Unlearning Is Impossible

Be persistent and finish what you have started. Due to my observation of this principle, I've completed books I should quit reading after the first page; I've finished programs that I have no use of; I've mastered skills I don't really care about; I've kept relationship with abusive relatives for years and pretended that I … Continue reading Learning Is Difficult Unlearning Is Impossible →

Halloween: Lost And Not Found

This happens all the time--lost at home and never to be found. My socks are continuing disappearing after every wash and they don't usually walk away in pairs. One of the pair walks away and what can I do with the remaining one sock? My Good Grips peeler is nowhere to be found yesterday. I … Continue reading Halloween: Lost And Not Found →

“Hallowe’en Party” And The Change Of Taste

I thought I was going to read Agatha Christie's "Hallowe'en Party" today, but I just can't bring myself to read it. I feel that I am trying to squeeze myself into the jeans I used to wear when I was a teenager. Not that I wore jeans in those days. I was so skinny then … Continue reading “Hallowe’en Party” And The Change Of Taste →

Scary Things I’ve Encountered

I really haven't encountered scary things in my life, and now I feel that my life is strangely inadequate in this aspect. Probably many people are like me in this way, and probably this is why many people like Halloween, just to be scared once a year, to have the experience of fear and the … Continue reading Scary Things I’ve Encountered →

Binge Watching Scary Movies

Years ago in Pittsburgh, my friends liked to go to the popular local Halloween parade around this time. Often they brought back descriptions of what they saw--for example someone who painted his body with paints with blood dripping from a fake wound. I don't believe that's body paint. Since it is cold, like today, around … Continue reading Binge Watching Scary Movies →

Feeling Today’s Right Yesterday’s Wrong

I often feel today's right yesterday's wrong. I don't know why. It's strange that it is rarely the other way around, although let's be fair each has equal claim to be correct. Well, how about I grow wiser as time passes by, which obviously benefits today more than yesterday? That's possible only to a certain … Continue reading Feeling Today’s Right Yesterday’s Wrong →

I Know I Won’t Finish These In November

"Nine Horses" by Billy CollinsEven his complaints are delightful to read. I wonder why? "Forgotten Wars: Freedom and Revolution in Southeast Asia" by C.A. Bayly, Tim HarperThe end of WWII is just an opening for new battles. It's as thick as two books, but I hate speed reading, which takes all the fun away. "Where … Continue reading I Know I Won’t Finish These In November →

Unfinished October Reading

It's different from what I planned a month ago, but several lovable books have made it all worthwhile. "If I Had Your Face" by Frances Cha-- This is the first book I read about South Korea. Isn't it strange that I used to watch many South Korean movies, but never think of reading a book … Continue reading Unfinished October Reading →

Mini Story: Chul And Jool

My friend H told me this story and H heard this story from her colleague Chung, who grew up in a town in the Midwest, somewhere within 200 mile radius of Chicago. Chung's parents run the only Asian restaurant in town, which serves a range of items from Vietnamese rice roll, Mongolian BBQ, to General … Continue reading Mini Story: Chul And Jool →

Struggle With Broth

Last weekend, I had to struggle with the question--what broth to use--all because the local Trader Joe's runs out of the low sodium organic chicken broth. This Trader Joe's on Route One in the township of North Brunswick is too small, probably only three thousand square feet, which as a store is not much at … Continue reading Struggle With Broth →

Mini Story: A Non-Greek Tragedy

My friend H told me this story, and I have since changed the location and the background setting of the original story to make this a fiction of fictional characters. It's about the neighbor of my friend H, an Asian immigrant couple, both engineers, which are not uncommon among Asian immigrants in New Jersey. They … Continue reading Mini Story: A Non-Greek Tragedy →

Mini Story: The Battle Of Love

"Yesterday I threw all his books out the window." Lulu says to me."Really?" I feign surprise but I'm not really surprised."I made sure the car is not parked in the driveway first and the screens were taken down for the winter." Lulu and her husband Tun live in a tenement style townhouse and the driveway … Continue reading Mini Story: The Battle Of Love →

Poem: It Is A Ghost

A common Friday, not bad enough to be tragic, not funny enough to be comic, not good enough to be happy, not unproductive enough to be a total waste of time. Every method of human contact can be used to thwart real communication, which is the best way to lie without really lying. An advice … Continue reading Poem: It Is A Ghost →

That’s No Joke

"Alexa, tell me a joke?"Silence. My Kindle Fire is hitting a mini glitch. "Alexa, hello.""It's Sarcasm Awareness Month, and I say 'hi'.""Alexa, can you tell me a joke?""Why do zombies make such excellent golfers? They really know their way around a corpse.""I can write better jokes than that." I say to my friend immodestly. "Really? … Continue reading That’s No Joke →

Good And Bad On Standing Up

I can't remember who told me this--a person has to stand up or walk around for at least four hours a day. If not, the bones will not be healthy and the body will be in decline. Well, if the decline is impossible to stop, at least the four hour rule will help slow it … Continue reading Good And Bad On Standing Up →

Haiku: Memory

A sunny day, A simple breakfast. It's there-- the memory smiling at me from the charred toast. I stop the car, raise my eyes. It's there-- the memory appearing, hanging on to me, like my handbag. I walk past the familiar hedges of careless landscaping. It's there-- the memory recurring, like someone repeating a tired … Continue reading Haiku: Memory →

Friendly Advice

I got a friendly advice today when N told me to sanitize the second hand book I ordered from betterworldbooks.com in case there are remnants of Covid19 clinging to the pages ready to jump on anybody who touches it and send the person to fever, ventilator, or even an early grave. "You know the virus … Continue reading Friendly Advice →

Life’s Discrepancies

Years ago one of my acquaintances told me this. At the time, I didn't really think about the merit or the moral of the story. I should have, but I didn't. I am not completely impervious to learning, but I pick up hints or wisdom very slowly. Now I can't even remember it was a … Continue reading Life’s Discrepancies →

Things I Don’t Want To Do

Things I don't want to do, like weekly chores, suddenly don't seem to be so bad when I am stuck, blocked, not able to proceed for one more line. At such a moment, my self doubt is everywhere, sitting on this very chair, filling up the four corners of the room, clinging up to the … Continue reading Things I Don’t Want To Do →

Read And Misread In October

Reading often goes hand in hand with misreading. Being an immigrant and reading English as a second language have taught me this fact. At first this made me rather uncomfortable--the sense of uncertainty and self doubt following me like a shadow in a bright sunset, which means the shadow is much bigger and longer than … Continue reading Read And Misread In October →

Backyard Farming

I call them backyard farmers, but they probably don't agree with me. It's popular among Asian immigrants in New Jersey to engage in backyard farming every year. I even know a couple who don't live in a house and don't have a backyard to grow their produce. What do they do? They rent a plot … Continue reading Backyard Farming →

When You Don’t Have An Appetite

I don't have an appetite today and I don't know why. Is it because of the melatonin pills I've taken these past two weeks for my insomnia? It could be. It is said online that melatonin is a naturally occurring hormone in our body and taking a little won't have any side effect on the … Continue reading When You Don’t Have An Appetite →

A Mini Love Story

G is my distant cousin and he is always considered, by my parents and my relatives, to be the most intelligent and most unfortunate among all my cousins. His life started well--a cute kid, indulged by his parents, growing up to be a handsome teenager. He's half Mongolian, just like me, but he looks more … Continue reading A Mini Love Story →

Poem: The Season Of Leaves

Rain all night and all morning. The bright yellow leaves in tears,shaking on the branches,sprawling on the ground,carpeting everything--the lawn, the paths, the cars.The season of leaves,a beautiful death,a colorful eulogy,a spectacular funeral. The slice of toasted bread turns soggy quickly.Rains pouring from the broken corner of the gutter. I say to myself I can't … Continue reading Poem: The Season Of Leaves →

Binge Watching

Just binge watched "Billions" for eight episodes on showtime from Amazon, starting last night. Now I am feeling exhausted, hungry, eyes hurt, whole body ache. It's a wonderful show no doubt--the plot is quick paced, the acting quite convincing, the actors too handsome, the actresses too beautiful, the human relationships full of twists and barely … Continue reading Binge Watching →

Word Confusion

Some words are created to communicate, while others just to confuse. I thought I read "ruminative" on an article about what Fran Lebowitz has to say about her current state of staying at home, but it is actually "remunerative". I don't know about native speakers, but as a person learning English as a second language, … Continue reading Word Confusion →

Ghost Arriving Before Halloween

I am talking with two friends in a cafe. One of them asks me to look at a picture on his laptop. I lean over and stare at the screen. Minutes later, when our attentions come back to the hot tea arriving at our table, we notice the other friend's absence. At first we think … Continue reading Ghost Arriving Before Halloween →

The Thrill And Peril Of Imitation

Living in the Asian community in New Jersey, one can't help learning stories about engineers and scientists. One of these widely circulated stories is this: A newcomer in one of the research institutions, where people are madly nerdy and competitive, finds that everybody in the department is sharpening their pencils with a knife. Everybody has … Continue reading The Thrill And Peril Of Imitation →

Finished With A Sigh

I shouldn't read this book, "We Wanted to Be Writers: Life, Love, and Literature at the Iowa Writers' Workshop" by Eric Olsen. I knew I shouldn't but I still did. A lot of things I did in my life, I only did for conformity and convention and survival, which take up huge amount of time … Continue reading Finished With A Sigh →

Insomnia vs. Somnia

"Somnia" is not a word; "insomnia" is. That's just English. Non-native speakers (like me) beware. There are as many exceptions to the rules as those that follow the rules. Not only many words starting with "in" don't have corresponding antonyms that lose the prefix "in", but also some "in" and non-"in" pairs completely disregard the … Continue reading Insomnia vs. Somnia →

Things I Want To Do But Can’t

Such a beautiful day today that one just wants to go out and walk about, but instead one's stuck here staring at the computer screen. Sunny, a few clouds floating decoratively, 72 degrees, humidity not too high to mess up the hair and not too low to dry up the skin. There are only ten … Continue reading Things I Want To Do But Can’t →

Event Before Election

"Have you registered to vote?" The lady behind the thick plate of glass asked. "No." I answered."Why do you answer for her? I am asking her?" The lady said, pointing to my friend W. I translated for W and W shook her head. So I said "No" across the glass barrier again."Do you want to … Continue reading Event Before Election →

Mini Story: An Awkward Picture

This awkward picture is an oil painting of me when I was about 11 years old. Every painting has a story behind it, and here it is. I remember this today only because that's the first time I felt a strong sympathy towards a man--the artist painting this--who totally despised me and detested his job … Continue reading Mini Story: An Awkward Picture →

Mini Story: The Sales Training

Pammy is a fictional character but the event is something that really happens, not as infrequently as we tend to imagine. The idea of this story is based on my talk with my friends on the sales training they had been to. It goes like this: Pammy lives with her husband Pan and their son … Continue reading Mini Story: The Sales Training →

Can’t Live With Or Without Impulse

I hate impulses, especially impulse purchase. I went to Trader Joe's today and bought a big bunch of things. Completely over my budget. Do I really need the "Tomato Basil Hummus"? No, but it is so good that I can finish the whole thing before I start my dinner. Do I really need the one … Continue reading Can’t Live With Or Without Impulse →

The October Book Plan

For about half a year or so, I wrote book reviews devotedly for books I read, but then I felt that I didn't really enjoy doing that. I guess the main reason is that it feels like I'm still in school, trying to come up with something to say while worrying that what I am … Continue reading The October Book Plan →

Mini Story: The Driving Lesson

There's a stereotype in America that Asians don't know how to drive and I have no wish to add another piece on that pile of cliche here. However I've witnessed more than a handful of couples who squabble incessantly about driving--how to drive, how to drive better, road signs to watch for, how many miles … Continue reading Mini Story: The Driving Lesson →

Things Coming To Mind While Driving

I've had four consecutive days of insomnia, which was barely controlled by taking cold medicine even if I don't have a cold. Knock on the wood. I will make sure I don't have cold or flu this coming winter since any cold symptom is a suspect for the more serious COVID-19. It's ten hours ago … Continue reading Things Coming To Mind While Driving →

Courage Misunderstood

My friend Y once told me that he had traveled to Russia and Ukraine to run his small business of selling household goods. That in itself is not terribly uncommon since I heard of Asians businessmen carrying goods to Russia to sell and carrying Russian specialties back. So I asked him if he's afraid since … Continue reading Courage Misunderstood →

A Mild Heartbreak

I am not really nursing a broken heart, but I am trying to use the word "heart" and "break" in the title, like Shaw's "Hearbreak House" or Wallace's essay on a tennis star who broke his heart--I can't remember the exact title or the star's name. Too lazy to look it up. My heartbreak is … Continue reading A Mild Heartbreak →

What Does It Mean?

What does the word "russet" mean? Also words like "orb", "presage", "quaff", "brogue", "dirigible", "druid", "patisserie"? I have no idea. Some of them I've already looked up at least several times, but still I forget what the meaning. It must be my disappointing memory, but that's another story for another day. It sounds rather exhausting … Continue reading What Does It Mean? →

What A Headache

I've heard the drill many times before. "Don't take pain killers for your headache. Stop thinking too much." "Don't take sleeping pills. Just listen to music or count sheep." Among my friends, the general attitude towards medicine is--not to deal with medicine. This is why I often feel it strange that many Asian parents here … Continue reading What A Headache →

Throw Caution To The Wind

I wish I can throw caution to the wind, but I can't. Today I read this piece of news that more than half of the new Cov-19 cases are from people who have gone to restaurant. One minute you are enjoying your food and the next thing you know you come down with all the … Continue reading Throw Caution To The Wind →

Who’s Afraid Of Ghosts

Some differences are in our head, and what's in our head are even more difficult to change than visible and perceptible aspects of differences like accent and manners etc. Not that I can change my accent or my manners. I can't. However I know it's there and I've developed a way to deal with it. … Continue reading Who’s Afraid Of Ghosts →

Different Body

I've heard similar incidents happen again and again here in the Asian community in New Jersey. This is one story I heard about five years ago. One manager in a big drug company suddenly fainted. He is middle-aged and held a lower level management position, which is reachable by Asians before hitting the usual bamboo … Continue reading Different Body →

Visible And Invisible Masks

Our invisible social masks are not enough. Now we have to wear visible masks, which have more advantages than merely shielding our breath and preventing the spread of virus--under the cover of a mask, we can do with a lot less makeup or even no makeup. How much time we waste every day on beautifying … Continue reading Visible And Invisible Masks →

Short Story: A Cat And A Train Ride (Part 1)

Armi was a beautiful cat with shining black and white furs, fierce eyes. He was discovered as a starving kitten, about several weeks old, by my grandmother's neighbor, lying next to a ditch after a rainstorm. It's said Armi was discovered too late by humans and couldn't establish the kind of bonding a normal pet … Continue reading Short Story: A Cat And A Train Ride (Part 1) →

Short Story: A Cat And A Train Ride (Part 2)

Click Here For Part 1 After a while my mother and I dozed off again, and my mother's tight hold on the cat was loosened. So Armi jumped off once again. This time, he attacked a person sitting right behind us, who is young and tall. He must have sausage or beef jerky or boiled … Continue reading Short Story: A Cat And A Train Ride (Part 2) →

Fragmented

Regular strawberry or organic strawberry? They taste the same. If there's any difference, it must be due to the power of imagination. Regular soy milk or organic soy milk? I don't understand. Can genetically modified soy be considered organic? Are all the soy crops genetically modified? And all the corns? Should I make parsley dumpling, … Continue reading Fragmented →

The Peril Of Persistence

It's the peril of persistence. I was brought up on the principle of finishing what you started and now I am suffering the consequence. I can't go on with this book, but my habit of persistence doesn't allow me to give up in the middle. What to do? I can't stand "The Barbarians Are Coming" … Continue reading The Peril Of Persistence →

Short Story: Trouble With Language (Part 2)

Click Here For Part 1 One week later, they met again. Pammy looked haggard, her under eye circles darkened, her eyes more guileless and fierce than usual. "My old man (her term of endearment for her husband which sounds more of a term of respect in her native tongue than in English) and my father-in-law … Continue reading Short Story: Trouble With Language (Part 2) →

Short Story: Trouble With Language (Part 1)

Lu, Pammy, and Armei met at Armei's little cosmetic store, specializing in Asian cosmetic brands, every Monday afternoon. It's not really Armei's store. She's just a shop assistant. Monday is slow and a perfect time to meet her friends. If the owner of the store happened to come in, which she never did on a … Continue reading Short Story: Trouble With Language (Part 1) →

Dusk Falls At 7:00PM

Darkened sky, brisk air; cool breezes chill the arms bare, ruffle my summer wear. Dusk so soon I am not aware. A year passes a blink of an eye; a day goes by before I could sigh. Chores I can't simplify; Do it or not do it, either can satisfy. Honest toil is something, or … Continue reading Dusk Falls At 7:00PM →

Nothing And Everything

Have you ever had that feeling of dread that when you open your refrigerator, which is filled up nicely, but can't find anything to eat? Soy milk--I just drank it for the breakfast. Tomato soup--I had it yesterday. Vietnamese pizza with rice wrap underneath--I tried it twice already within 48 hours. Bean curd--too bland. My … Continue reading Nothing And Everything →

Magnificent In Different Ways

This is not for me. I mean the book, "Our Magnificent Bastard Tongue". It's obviously for those native speakers. The magnificence described by the book must be felt by a lot of people, but as a non-native speaker I feel differently. If I feel the magnificence, it's a different kind of magnificence. Mencken and Orwell … Continue reading Magnificent In Different Ways →

Lost In Translation

No matter how I explained, he just wouldn't understand. Or probably it's just his pretensions which offer him his rights to insist on his own idea. Show your stubbornness long enough and other people would mistake that for your strength. What a wish. Go your own way; enjoy your freedom of making your own mistakes … Continue reading Lost In Translation →

Old News and New News

I've often seen the phrase "old news", but never seen the phrase "new news", which is obviously considered as redundancy, pleonasm, tautology or whatever other pedantic words available. However in the age of frantic pace of various media, there should be a phrase "new news" to distinguish the news within two or three hours, from … Continue reading Old News and New News →

Fall Is My Favorite Season

When I first came to America, I was surprised to learn that autumn is commonly called "fall" here, probably due to the falling leaves. The autumn foliage of red and yellow and orange in Pennsylvania is spectacular. Nothing characterizes the autumn better than the word "fall" of these beautiful leaves in such a scale. Though … Continue reading Fall Is My Favorite Season →