The price of ginseng has stayed flat, not affected at all by the current inflation. How strange. Just when I think everything is up and up, ginseng comes out and displays its steady price exactly like before, as if to mock my misconception. The autumn and the coming winter are the appropriate time to take … Continue reading My Mother & Ginseng
Category: Diary
The Underlying Messages Are So Different
I went to the grocery store last weekend and picked up a book from a three layered table display with books all piled on each layer, deliberately disorganized. I don’t want to mention the book’s name or the author’s name since I don’t like to say negative things about a living author. I prefer gentle … Continue reading The Underlying Messages Are So Different
A Game Of Confidence
I am feeling a little uncomfortable with myself when I think of this, but I can’t get rid of this feeling. I met Dodo last weekend again in the store and she talked about her kids. How intelligent is her son and how sweet is her daughter. She ranted, holding my hand as if I … Continue reading A Game Of Confidence
Saturday’s Busy Void
Have you ever found that you are busy for an entire day, but in the end, around the midnight, you realize that you have achieved nothing. Busy for the sake of being busy. Rushing here and there just for the purpose of satisfying an inner demon of self torture or some other kind of inexplicable … Continue reading Saturday’s Busy Void
It Is A Mind Battle
I feel that every day I am wallowing in writing mistakes and can’t crawl out of it. Is this another trap? This feeling is punctuated by the thoughts that I am criticizing myself too much. The problem is that my brain seems to have a mind of its own. It doesn’t really follow my instructions. … Continue reading It Is A Mind Battle
The Beginning Of My Story
The first time I felt that there might be something wrong with my father was when I was eight-years-old, or probably nine-years-old, standing right outside of the three-story apartment building where we lived. The snowstorm of the night before was gone, bringing a brilliant morning of sunshine and cloudless sky. The wind had died down; … Continue reading The Beginning Of My Story
When I Am Blocked
A six months absence from WP; a half year hiatus. I stopped posting because I felt repetitive. The phrases I typed had been written and typed again and again before. I didn't see any improvement in myself even though I had expected to see gradual changes--hopefully for the better of course--in wording, thoughts, structuring of … Continue reading When I Am Blocked
Our Twisted Mind
I was clicking on a random video in Spanish last night and found out that Biden had dropped out. This is the first time I received news in Spanish before receiving it in English. I couldn’t help feeling a sense of triumph. My Spanish has plateaued for months and had no sign of improving despite … Continue reading Our Twisted Mind
A Writing Lesson (Flash Fiction)
Flash Fiction #175 A: “It says here ‘nothing is too silly, too stupid, too weird to be included.’ Now the first exercise is: tell me something absurd.” B: “I don’t have it right now.” A: “But you told me your parents were absurd the other day.” B: “I did, but … I said it in … Continue reading A Writing Lesson (Flash Fiction)
I Should Have Said Something
I was in the 99 Ranch store last weekend. I asked to buy a grocery bag at the checkout and the cashier gave me one. A minute later, she inquired if she had given me two bags instead of one. She blamed herself for making another mistake. I assured her that she didn't. I had … Continue reading I Should Have Said Something
Against Our Competitive Instincts
I have stopped playing Wordle now because I think it feeds the kind of narcissistic thinking that I want to get rid of. I just read a book about how to deal with emotionally immature people, which include narcissists. In it, the author, a psychologist, said that narcissists tend to like games—board games or trivial … Continue reading Against Our Competitive Instincts
The Peacock Misconception
A friend of mine created a peacock metaphor and she has used it very often. So the word "peacock" showed up in our texting regularly. I felt that it was a little unfair to the beautiful bird. I loved one beautiful green peacock in our local zoo when I was a child. He was probably … Continue reading The Peacock Misconception
An Old Friend & A Continuous Romance
I have always tried to steer away from reading a book of romance, which is usually too unrealistic for me. However recently I try to write a kind of Kung Fu story happened around Mongolian steppe. I should say proto-Mongolian steppe since the story is set in the 7th century when Mongolia as a country … Continue reading An Old Friend & A Continuous Romance
Easy Or Pyrrhic?
I just learned the word pyrrhic, an adjective, meaning "won at too great a cost to have been worthwhile for the victor". It is pronounced "pirik". People always tell me that I pronounce "i" as if it is "ee", a typical non-native speaker's mistake. I have always wanted to improve my pronunciation, but I've never … Continue reading Easy Or Pyrrhic?
Cultural Differences In A Restaurant
As you know, I like to watch videos about food although I dislike cooking, eat almost like a vegan, and often delay dish washing until it is impossible to delay anymore. I used to like cooking and shopping for food etc., but my enthusiasm has suffered a steady decline for years. Recently, food is more … Continue reading Cultural Differences In A Restaurant
Cultural Differences In Our Stories
The Location of Love Stories I watched a movie and read a book last week. It just so happened that both are about people escaping from the big cities and finding love in small towns in the Midwest or North Carolina. I can't help thinking that small town love stories can very well be its … Continue reading Cultural Differences In Our Stories
Dusk Is Always Perfect
The dusk descends, the sky dims,the air haunts, the laptop screen illuminates, the distant street lights glow. My perfect dusk again. I only wish it is longer, but that's too much to wish for. A thousand shades and shadows play by the window sill. It's an overture to an evening of moon and stars, but … Continue reading Dusk Is Always Perfect
Holiday Reminiscences (Continued)
My Mother During Holidays Although my mother was usually happier than usual during holidays, she never shied away from telling me and my father that she was overworked and overstretched during holidays. She cooked too much and didn't even have a minute to enjoy herself. Once I saw a dirt mark on the back of … Continue reading Holiday Reminiscences (Continued)
Holiday Reminiscences
Have you ever found that a missing front tooth makes a kid look cuter? I was just at the store and a kid like that smiled aimlessly around, revealing the little gap in his mouth. Kids are always cute, no matter how awkwardly they walk, how impertinent they speak. An adult can never get away … Continue reading Holiday Reminiscences
Inspire Somebody Unexpectedly
"Has she been living in a cave somewhere, not listening to the news, too busy toeing the real or imagined line?" I ask myself this question while smiling at her sweetly, the kind of smile that mixes business acumen with personal relationship. However recently I have started to doubt my ability to reach an ideal … Continue reading Inspire Somebody Unexpectedly
I Just Need One More Idea
I really don't want to say this, but last night I was in a desperate search of an idea to tie several experiences and thoughts together with certain degree of coherence. I didn't think there was a real cohesion in it but an semblance of it was essential. Yes, the more one doesn't have it, … Continue reading I Just Need One More Idea
Battle For Schools And Grades
I was trying to explain to someone about the schools in Central Jersey area and I said, "it is a little crazy, right? Aren't you surprised?" "Oh no," she said, "I was expecting something like this. I had known about the craziness of schools here before we came." It was my turn to become surprised. … Continue reading Battle For Schools And Grades
Friday Before Thanksgiving
I am already planning what to buy tomorrow, which is the last day one can get quality groceries from mainstream American stores. After tomorrow, one has to wait until after Thanksgiving for the stores to refill its shelves to the normal level. This year will be the first year in my life that I encounter … Continue reading Friday Before Thanksgiving
You Have To Look Like You Know What You Are Doing
Time flies when one's having fun, but actually time flies whether one's having fun or not. Suddenly, Thanksgiving is around the corner again. Somehow I feel like I just had the previous Thanksgiving a month or two ago. In a short span of one or two months, a whole year has passed by, leaving me … Continue reading You Have To Look Like You Know What You Are Doing
The Rice Snack
I've heard about the rice problem for several weeks, but I've never acted on it or tried to stock up on rice products. One reason is that I've been busy and haven't paid attention to what is happening around me for a while. Another reason is that whenever I step into the Asian grocery stores, … Continue reading The Rice Snack
The Garden Of Flowers Or Words
There's a couple living not far from me, and they are diligent gardeners. I often see them busy in their front yard, planting, clipping, digging, weeding during the spring or summer time. However their front yard still looks as unattended and neglected as those of other immigrants, who think that mowing the lawn is the … Continue reading The Garden Of Flowers Or Words
Romance Of The Steppe
I am trying to write a romance that is going to get rid of all the prevailing romance elements that I dislike, like the inevitable rescue scenes, rivalry, jealousy, frog to prince, love bombing etc. I want to write about two normal people who fall in love and talk their experiences and emotions in a … Continue reading Romance Of The Steppe
Sunday’s Positivity
Canva Stock Image Poem Of The Day Sorry for the sink overflowing with pots and plates-- but I'm not really sorry, with no intention to clean it and put it away. Just think--how much time I've saved not to wash it, not to disrupt my brain wave, not to let the external dictate me. Annoyed … Continue reading Sunday’s Positivity
The Problematic Hook
canva stock image It was me who suggested having a hook for the boring article. If I knew the trouble I was going to get myself into, I would never have suggested it. So I made the suggestion. She instantly picked it up. Since a hook is supposed to be an attractive bit of information … Continue reading The Problematic Hook
Feeling Normal Again
Suddenly, last week, I came down with an upset stomach and a diarrhea for a day and a half, which resulted in my lying in bed for most of the time, except when answering phone calls. I feel that a person's voice is different when standing vertically or lying horizontally. This is why I never … Continue reading Feeling Normal Again
Reading But Not Really Reading
I finally find a way to read without really reading. Let me explain. I am at the level of lower intermediate in Spanish, which is a very awkward stage. Often people consider this a plateau, The freshness of the language is lost by now; the boredom sets in; the lack of progress is too glaring … Continue reading Reading But Not Really Reading
The Speculation Of The Unseen
Canva Stock Photo I talked with Arli yesterday who said she is always worried about her child, a teenager, who was going to be disadvantaged in a lot of ways in her opinion. When I asked her to elaborate on those disadvantages, she said she couldn't. She had no detail to give and no specific … Continue reading The Speculation Of The Unseen
The Wuthering Alternatives
Inadvertently, "Wuthering Heights" is an Asian style story among books labeled as English literature. And "The Sorrows of Young Werther" is another Asian style story, but that doesn't really belong to English literature. The reason I am thinking about this book is that an Asian American girl's email reminds me of a conversation we had … Continue reading The Wuthering Alternatives
The Purpose Of Transitions
Canva Stock Image I was asked to help with a transition here and a transition there. I don't know much about transitions, but I have so far been able to muddle through without getting complaints. The person who asked me for transitions was trying to change a writing she did a while ago and repurposed … Continue reading The Purpose Of Transitions
A Lot To Think, But Nothing To Write
canva stock image I have nothing to write today. I did something thinking today and realized that I just couldn't write three posts at once and schedule them for the next three days. I can't do it. I also can't make a schedule, block up a time period, and ask myself to write for the … Continue reading A Lot To Think, But Nothing To Write
Quote Of The Day: Happy Contradictions
canva stock image Quote Of The Day #81 He was an expert in contradictory phrases. For example he would say: "We have no happiness chiefly because we are always looking for happiness." "he is looking for an honest man, and I am afraid he has very little time to be honest himself" "Courage is almost … Continue reading Quote Of The Day: Happy Contradictions
Quote of The Day: Want Everything And Nothing (Part 7)
This is the 7th part of the story. The previous 6 parts are here: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6. I just realized that I haven't finished this series, which is about two books I read on Sylvia Plath. Among the two, "Red Comet" is the most recent one and it is very long. If … Continue reading Quote of The Day: Want Everything And Nothing (Part 7)
Cultural Differences On Beauty (Continued)
canva stock image This is the second half of the post. The first half is here. Two Different Systems Many people have two different aesthetic systems in their mind. For me and many other Asians who speak and utilize English as a second language, we have two distinct aesthetic systems, one connected with English and … Continue reading Cultural Differences On Beauty (Continued)
Cultural Differences On Beauty
canva stock image A food-and-travel video blogger on YouTube, whom I watch regularly, is putting up a video about his wife going for cosmetic surgery in Thailand. As you know, Thailand and South Korea are the places to go to become more "beautiful" for people living in the vicinity. I really feel…. Well, judging from … Continue reading Cultural Differences On Beauty
Change The Habit
Make It Three Instead Of One I was trying to change my habit from writing one post at a time to writing three posts at a time in the past three weeks. And guess what? I felt so uncomfortable with the change that I was completely blocked for a whole week. However I was determined … Continue reading Change The Habit
Reflection On A Bad Drama
This drama is so bad that I had to give up watching after several episodes. It is an imitation K Drama. The outfit, the architecture, the cookware, the food are all fashioned after a long gone Korean dynasty. The hero is androgynous, handsome, and strangely sadistic, while the heroine is a cutie who is determined … Continue reading Reflection On A Bad Drama
The Long Awaited Rain
canva stock image Last week's heatwave was finally gone. For a while, one almost felt everything was heated up and radiating intense warmth. Just looking at those trees outside, one could feel the high temperature sucking liquid from them, making the leaves dusty green as if half dead. There was a general expectation for rain, … Continue reading The Long Awaited Rain
Beautiful Small Eyes And Flat Nose
Lu has been the handsomest man for 1800 years, adored by countless women (and men) throughout the history. Ancient books, articles, poems lavished beautiful words on his appearance. However there's not one word about the size of his eyes or the prominence of his nose. So I have always imagined him to have small eyes … Continue reading Beautiful Small Eyes And Flat Nose
Cultural Differences And Tastes
Canva Stock Image Just by pure accident, I discovered a historical K Drama dubbed in Spanish on YouTube, which has 20 episodes, each about 45 minutes. What a find. It makes Spanish more interesting to learn. In addition, this particular K Drama is not as good as those I watched before (actually quite a bad … Continue reading Cultural Differences And Tastes
A Different Perspective
I ran into L today in the supermarket. As you know, I have lost my interest in shopping for groceries ever since the inflation started. I used to like looking for coupons, buying discount stuff, and feeling the pleasure of saving money while spending money. However, recently coupons are hard to come by, discounts are … Continue reading A Different Perspective
Cultural Differences On Friendships
Canva Stock Photo I was helping somebody brainstorm, during which we talked about friendship and sisterhood etc. And then I couldn't help thinking about friends I had when I was young, living close to the border of Mongolian Steppe. For a moment, I wished I would stay there forever despite the wind swept winter bleakness … Continue reading Cultural Differences On Friendships
I Tried To Encourage Somebody
I tried to encourage somebody very young--she was going to take a very important exam. However when I started to write, I felt that all the cliches and platitudes poured in. I didn't have anything heartfelt to say on this occasion. I didn't have any problem with the requirement for politeness or the formality of … Continue reading I Tried To Encourage Somebody
How To Convince People?
Canva Stock Image Two days ago I did something that was very satisfying. I think I was a little nerdy and insistent; I might have talked more than I should; I could have just given the hint and sent the video link. Basically in a very imperfect way, I expressed myself and caught other people's … Continue reading How To Convince People?
I Want To Make Changes
This is a quote and a non-quote since I selected two lines from two long-ago, far-away, well-known authors and twisted and adjusted and amended them. I don't know if I should acknowledge them. I haven't been in a mood to write this week, not because of WP, which is becoming more halting and pausing lately, … Continue reading I Want To Make Changes
Stories Old And New
I am going to share two stories inspired by "Barbie". Although I haven't watched the movie "Barbie" yet, I accidentally stumbled on the movie reviews on the podcasts I listen (or watch) regularly before going to sleep. They sounded the spoiler alerts in the beginning of the reviews, but that didn't stop me from listening. … Continue reading Stories Old And New
Cultural Differences In Daily Life (Continued)
This is the 2nd part of the post. The 1st part is here. Speed Limit M says in his video about his life as a Latin American living in Germany that often there is no speed limit on highways, and one can drive as fast as one possibly can, which is frightening in M's opinion. … Continue reading Cultural Differences In Daily Life (Continued)
Nothing To Write Today
I have nothing to write today. I subscribe to the theory that one should write something even if one has nothing to write. So I am going to describe some random thoughts. Prediction Of This Winter It is said this winter is going to be a tough one for this area since the cold air … Continue reading Nothing To Write Today
Cultural Differences In Daily Life
I have been watching some videos to learn Spanish--just a little bit every day for fun--and one of the YouTube videos is from a guy who works as a Spanish teacher in Germany. He is originally from Peru in South America, and he shares his thoughts on 30 things Germans do that he feels quite … Continue reading Cultural Differences In Daily Life
Trivial Differences
It is not easy to write about cultural differences. It is very significant in your own mind. However once you write it and spell it out, it sounds so trivial that it makes you think it doesn't matter one way or the other. I don't know how it makes the undesirable transition from interesting to … Continue reading Trivial Differences
Monday’s Meandering Mind
Be Positive It is hard to stay positive when one has to deal with a negative person. It makes one dream of the days when things will come to an end and the obligation of service is no longer there. For the time being, it is what it is and one has to endure it. … Continue reading Monday’s Meandering Mind
The Sunday Morning News
As I was doing laundry today, I listened to some news from several Asian channels on YouTube. And I just couldn't believe my ears. This is what I heard. It was about this well known woman--it really didn't matter she was well known or not since it could happen to anybody. She was married in … Continue reading The Sunday Morning News
My Miracle Sauces For Vegan Food
In order to be an "almost vegan", one has to have one or two miracle sauces, which can add flavor to any dishes. The most bland, unpromising, flavorless food can be transformed instantly when such sauces are added, sometimes just one tablespoon. And my miracle sauces are Brown Braising Sauce from Lee Kum Kee and … Continue reading My Miracle Sauces For Vegan Food
Food And Tradition
When I was in high school and stayed with my maternal grandparents for a weekend, I watched them eating a fisherman's delicacy--raw crab pickled in alcohol. My grandparents had grown up in a fishing village. Even if they had moved to a big city later on, away from their traditional life, they enjoyed all kinds … Continue reading Food And Tradition
Education In A Form Of Madness
Education is a form of madness in the Asian community here in New Jersey. It has been this way for years, and every year it becomes a little crazier than the year before. And sometimes it seems to me that there is no limit to this craze and the intensity can just go up and … Continue reading Education In A Form Of Madness
Insomnia With No Somnia
Image by Deborah Hudson from Pixabay Last night, I had an insomnia. After counting a hundred sheep and lingering with the indecision of getting up or lying down, I searched for natural cures of sleeplessness online. As a non-native speaker, I am baffled with orphaned words. One of them is insomnia, which means sleeplessness. Where … Continue reading Insomnia With No Somnia
Characters And Hiccups
When something happens to the project you are doing with several other people, you feel this urge to talk about it, discuss it, recall past conversations, elaborate on different ways of moving forward, and describe possible outcomes. It is impossible to be silent. Your mind is absorbed in it and you feel that you have … Continue reading Characters And Hiccups
Sweet & Sour Sunday
Image by Jeff Klugiewicz from Pixabay One grey sky, two busy birds, and three tea bags steeped dark and strong. Sunday morning routines get delayed by a social media call--not really urgent but with an unexplained urgency. Unfinished chores wait at the sink and uncompleted shopping list sticks to the fridge. A leftover soup begs … Continue reading Sweet & Sour Sunday
Risks And Thrills
Image by goonerua on Freepik I have nothing to write about today. Life is so repetitive and uneventful, which is probably why some people want to take risks to feel the thrills. And I have to say I did take some risks before, but none of the risks I took gave me any thrills at … Continue reading Risks And Thrills
Zoos And Animals (Continued)
Image by Almeida from Pixabay This is the second part of the post. The first part is here. Many normal people and parents like zoos too and like to bring their children to zoos, but narcissists like zoos for different reasons, most of which are not normal and most have a hidden sadistic twist. A … Continue reading Zoos And Animals (Continued)
Zoos and Animals
Image by Almeida from Pixabay I can't say every narcissistic parent loves zoo, but I can certainly say that many do. Here I am going to share a childhood story of mine first and then I am going to discuss why narcissists love taking their children to zoos. As I am typing this, I can … Continue reading Zoos and Animals
Food Choices
Image by KamranAydinov on Freepik Sauce Is Everything Today at the supermarket, I couldn't find my favorite brand of dark soy sauce. As a replacement, I bought Lee Kum Kee's Brown Braising Sauce, which I had never tried before. And so coming home, I made braised tofu by pouring the sauce on a plate of … Continue reading Food Choices
Too Mild To Be Acknowledged
This is a canva.com stock photo. I tried to add two words to it, but it doesn't look as I expected it to be. Sports It has been easy for me to recognize my parents' narcissism because they were extreme cases on the narcissism spectrum, to the point that they were normal but barely functional, … Continue reading Too Mild To Be Acknowledged
Good Or Bad Listener
This is my first picture created from scratch using canva.com. The texts look awkwardly large, the pen has an unusually large attachment on the side for retractable purposes, the cell phone is strangely elongated, and the buttons on the laptop keyboard seem to be twisted on the edge. However, just look on the bright side--the … Continue reading Good Or Bad Listener
Life Is Full Of Clues
Image by Freepik The day before yesterday, Wordle's answer is a five-letter word "nanny". And I put in a very lucky first word "moany", for which "ny" are the right letters in the right place, and "a" is the right letter for the wrong place. After my lucky first-word break, I went on to guess … Continue reading Life Is Full Of Clues
Quote Of The Day: A Lighthouse
Image by callmetak on Freepik Quote Of The Day #79 I was trying to publish this post last night, but I realized that I didn't feel like doing it after all. If one has been reading for the night, one often feels disinclined towards writing, as if the two activities are mutually exclusive somehow. Anyway, … Continue reading Quote Of The Day: A Lighthouse
Optimum Ratio
Image by vecstock on Freepik One To One Ratio A while ago, a friend of mine told me that he has a strategy of decluttering at home--whenever he buys something new, he will make sure to throw away something he hasn't used for a year, and probably will never use. I thought it was a … Continue reading Optimum Ratio
Poem Of The Day: May And June
Image by kjpargeter on Freepik Poem Of The Day #58 Why do I care that May is leaving, and June is looming with a summer grin? Why do I fret whether time is laughing at me-- "Tick tock, tick tock, where is the fierce scribble that you have always dreamed of? I've lived 4.5 billion … Continue reading Poem Of The Day: May And June
The Friendship Puzzle
Image by Ingo Jakubke from Pixabay I've had various friendship mishaps over the years, mostly due to me being a "grey rock", who pretends to be sweet, docile, obliging, passive and pacifying. I have a hidden fear that if other people know my true self--a person being a little bitter, harboring misgivings, growing up among … Continue reading The Friendship Puzzle
Wednesday’s Wandering Thoughts
Image by Ptrixxi from Pixabay Wednesday is always a tricky day, a little annoying, a little stuck in the middle. The weather too is a little unsure of itself, with clouds darkening in the gathering dusk, and an occasional raindrop falling but not really rainy. I just feel a little moody and whiny today, for … Continue reading Wednesday’s Wandering Thoughts
Remember A Regrettable Event
Image by Karolina Grabowska from Pixabay I was talking with a person who asked me for advice on a tricky situation, in which she felt that it was necessary for her to switch teams. By doing so, she was afraid that she might offend certain people. "Explain and explain more." I said to her, "you'd … Continue reading Remember A Regrettable Event
A Rainy Saturday
Image by Steve Buissinne from Pixabay I don't have anything to write about. It drizzles all day today--a misty, windless, grey world outside--but I don't feel the usual melancholy on a day like this. Instead the random raindrops on the window pane seem to form a mystical pattern, the temperature hovers around the pleasant 70F, … Continue reading A Rainy Saturday
Quote Of The Day: Experiment In Love
Image by Rolf Dobberstein from Pixabay Quote Of The Day #78 "She was quarrelsome, dogmatic, and shrewd. Her speech was alarmingly forthright, or else bewilderingly circumlocutory. Her eyes were large and alert, green like green glass, with no yellow or hazel in them, with none of the compromises people have when it comes to green … Continue reading Quote Of The Day: Experiment In Love
Haoyan Do 