From My iPhone
Quote Of The Day # 76
“Mia Farrow is a great actress and a wonderful mom, who sacrificed greatly for her kids. And yet so much of her talent and reputation was consumed by the men in her life.”
“Catch And Kill” by Ronan Farrow
And this quote is soooooooo true. So true not only for Mia Farrow, but for most women, famous or not famous, rich or poor, immigrants or non-immigrants, in this world. It is a true depiction of all my female relatives, most of my female friends and acquaintances, and most of the female characters in the books I’ve read.
Thankfully, the world is changing, and for young women nowadays, their “talent and reputation” don’t have to be “consumed by the men” in their life. I wish it had happened sooner, but let’s just be content with what it is and don’t be fret with the unattainable.
The world is changing even in the ultra-conservative Asian immigrant community here. I’ve seen two middle-aged women who highlight their hair with pink streaks. This is a very good sign. I’ve always wanted to dye my hair dark red with bright highlights, but I’ve never dared to do that. I’ve also heard of stories of women who chose to go to a sperm bank and had children by themselves. I know people who have chosen to have a relationship style that they enjoy, rather than conforming to the standards laid by their parents.
I am so happy for the change, but at the same time I feel sad for so many women whose “talent and reputation” are “consumed by the men” in their life. The problem is that such a consumption is making everybody so unhappy–women feel exhausted and ill-used, men feel constrained and being blamed, children feel insecure and conflicted, and people around them feel their negative vibes.
I’ve witness too many women live a life like that. Actually wherever I look– my relatives, my old classmates, my friends, my acquaintance–I see women like that. For example, the acquaintance I talked about in the previous post, who separated, divorced, and then got back together with her husband again, is a capable, hardworking, and healthy female engineer, but whenever we meet, she would always complain about her husband–his habits, his temperament, his hobby, his lay-back unambitious ways. Actually I think her husband is fine, just a little lazy probably. She told me that she threw her husband’s books away, and forced him to climb a ladder to fix the gutter, which is a thin ridge along the roof of a house to catch rainwater. She also regularly checks the webpages he browses. I mean if she can concentrate on herself, she would be much happier. Instead, she concentrates on changing her husband and molding him into an ideal man. Her daughter is unusually quiet and uncommunicative and aloof, a typical sad girl growing up in a household where two parents fight constantly.
I’m glad the world is changing now and I hope women can finally be themselves and love themselves and make themselves happy.
Haoyan Do 
I agree. I think everyone should work on themselves first. The world would be a lot happier that way.
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Yes, especially women. I know that men are more independent in this aspect. Many women I know want to work on their men so much that they can be quite suffocating.
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I’m happy to see things changing too. It seems no matter what a woman accomplishes, the men in her life are often what define her. You can see it in media all the time.
I’ve wanted to dye my hair for a while now too and hope to dye it before the year ends. I’ve never done that before but I’ve decided to start doing things I used to be too scared to do.
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Yes, you brave girl. Go ahead. Dye your hair, do what you want to do, say what you want to say, while also protecting yourself from harm. It is a brave new world out there but old danger is always lurking around the corner. I admire today’s young women and wish you do all the amazing things that previous generations of women wanted to do but didn’t have the chance to do.
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Thanks so much. The reason my generation can do things we want is thanks to the amazing women who stood up for our rights. Hopefully, the generation below me will be even more open and can truly do what they want without judgement and fear.
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Yes, I wish 21st century is the women’s century since there are so many positive things women can do for the community, the society, and the world. Old movies, literature, books, poems just don’t work for contemporary women anymore and there need to be a lot of new things for women who think and live differently…
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Yes, I really wish the same.
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You can’t change anyone so it’s better not to try and instead just make oneself better in ways that can be beneficial. Let’s turn inwards and stop gawking outwards. 😉
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Yes, happiness comes from one’s own self. Blaming others for one’s unhappiness can never work. I think often people feel trapped and don’t know what to do. Blaming somebody is an easy, although futile, way of handling it.
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I saw a woman the other day whose hair was bright red – much brighter than the usual red. It looked really good, I thought.
The gap between what one could theoretically do with one’s life and what on actually does is one that I often consider. I think one constraint is the fact that many large changes involve a big commitment – they’re not things you can just dabble in. Maybe incremental change is the way to go – eg bright red hair for a start!
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Yes, I like red color and I think my skin tone will be very suitable for dark red colored hair. LOL. Yes, sometimes one thinks it is a small change, but then one realizes that it is a huge change in one’s life. It’s almost unreal.
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You have to love yourself before you can make yourself or anyone else happy.
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Yes, we do. If we do not love ourselves, we cannot make other people happy. Just look at my grandma, you will understand the self-sacrificing woman is one of the biggest narcissists.
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