Image by Karolina Grabowska from Pixabay
When I went to the local UPS store, I was a little surprised to find that everybody was new there. The people I knew before were all gone. So I made inquiries and was told that those people who used to work there all found new jobs. This store offers a lot of services, such as color printing, fax, shipping etc.
Anyway, this store is very close to the grocery store I frequent and it is easy to drop by there. I feel very sad to see that people I knew were gone. Whenever changes happen, we just can’t help feeling sad no matter how much we try to tell ourselves that we love changes.
Coming back home, I googled UPS store and found that each store is a small business, individually owned and operated. It’s a franchise pretty much like MacDonald or 7-Elevan. So I guess the store’s previous owner sold the store to a new owner.
I know several people who run small businesses, one with an acupuncture store, one with a takeout restaurant, one with a computer store etc. I guess it is common to be a small business owner in New Jersey, especially for immigrants. One can make a living on it, but the hour is long, the repetition is perpetual, and the job is so boring that it is maddening.
I think among all the small businessmen or businesswomen I know, the only happy ones are the couple who run the takeout restaurant in a popular plaza. Satisfaction is written on their face even though they don’t say it explicitly. I even talked with the daughter several times, who told me that her parents instilled in her the notion that they are blessed with this opportunity of building their life here. The way she said it made me feel that she didn’t really like it, but had to resign herself to the inevitability. Every year, they only take one day off–that’s the Thanksgiving’s Day. And each day, they work from 10AM to 10PM nonstop. Her parents are good, dependable sort of people. They are nice to their kids and don’t show any sign of narcissism.
I think the other happy one is Mahul who is a car mechanic, but Mahul is a uniquely wonderful person who can be happy in any places, under any kind of circumstances. He is intelligent and cheerful and kind, quite beyond the usual human limit.
I am not so good at endurance and persistence. Boredom can get on my nerves easily and can make me question my own existence. I will need Prozac or other chemicals to help me through endless days, when the only purpose of life is survival, or to make a living, or to pay bills. “Unfortunately, that’s the fate befalls immigrants like us.” My friend L says, “if we accept our fate, we can be happy; if we don’t, we just sulk and nobody cares. At the end of the day, we still have to do what we have to do.”
Haoyan Do 
I have always had the philosophy that we can choose to be happy or unhappy but that is easy for me to say because I do not carry some of the burdens others struggle with.
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That’s a great story about work ethic. I have that too because of growing up between countries. I find there’s a dark side to it too and that it can be depressing to never be good enough and easy to burn out
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Tell me about it. I see it all around the immigrant community that people are so bored by the repetition but can’t get out of their survival mode.
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I envy people who can just be happy. I can never. I always seem to find myself being pessimistic even when I try to be more optimistic.
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Me too. I have tried to be content with the niche that I was assigned to, but I can’t be happy like that. My happiness doesn’t come to me as easy as that. I guess everybody is different.
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A great post but your negatives apply to all folks in every culture. What your friend L says is soooo true and that is the way to a more positive outlook. 🌸🙋♂️
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So true. And thank you for your comment since you just inspired me to write another post about it.
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well said, if we accept our fate, we can be happy;
Nice write-up.
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Thank you. Acceptance is a good way to deal with our world, even though I am not that type.
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What a fascinating story. My mom has that same mindset (but we aren’t immigrants). She’s very good with always showing up with work and doing her job and even though she gets frustrated or exhausted, she still comes in ready to work. I admire her work ethic and her dedication and I wanted to be just like her when I was younger. I’m nothing like her. Those who are successful are usually seen, those who aren’t, usually suffer. Success isn’t always even money, sometimes it’s happiness and/or comfort. She’s successful for the most part to me, but I feel like I’m always lagging behind because I’m much different than her.🥴
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What a wonderful mom you have. So true. We are nothing like our mothers. I don’t think I am the type who can just accept something and be content with it and numb myself with K drama every night. I’d rather struggle. Once I tried to fit in with the survival mentality, but then I ended up screaming like mad. We all have to find what is suitable for ourselves.
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I get you. I’m the same way. Sometimes I stand out, but most of the time I hate something and know I can change it so I will try. I hate doing things I hate and sometimes can’t get my body to do them so I have another way of getting across it.
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Happiness can be elusive. I like your way of getting your body to do it and getting your mind to forget it.
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