Happy New Year 2022

Image by Gordon Johnson from Pixabay

I don’t have a new year resolution since I know that I will never be able to keep it. Weather it’s an exercise routine, a diet regime, a time management plan, or an avowed improvement on my imperfect manner, I will abandon it within a week and go back to my old ways. I am probably impervious to self development–I wonder if there’s a word for people like me.

Anyway, for 2022, I have a list of wishes, but no resolution. And I have a theme — A Year Of Searching.

Interesting Real Stories

I’ve always had the problem with writing real stories since they can be incredibly boring. An uneventful life is bearable to live, but it is unbearable to write about it. The boredom feels so much more toxic in a short story. However my interest in real stories have been undiminished despite all the frustration in writing about them. I wonder why? Sometimes I ask myself why I can’t write fantasies or historical Kung Fu kind of stories? Why? I have no answer. I don’t know why.

I tried to add more plots to real stories, but they always feel contrived. I tried to use a more poetic way to make the reading more interesting, but I’m no poet. The attempt to make something poetic only results in making it corny or vulgar. I tried to introduce more emotion, but it doesn’t feel authentic, given the fact that I grew up and still live in a very subdued and reserved atmosphere. Silence punctuated by outbursts of scream feels more natural to me than the effusiveness of emotional interaction.

I will continue to search in 2022 for possible ways to write interesting real stories.

Search For Vegan Food Items

Instead of planning a healthy diet regime, I am going to search for tasty vegan food options. I am telling myself that the emphasis is not on abstaining from tasty food, but rather on continued pursuit of tasty healthy choices. This seems to make my mind feel less deprived.

In the past two years, I’ve found the following list of items that are delicious and healthy at the same time. By healthy, I mean no meat, very low cholesterol, 5% or less fat, low sugar, low carb, low salt. They are Trader Joe’s “Meatless Breakfast Patties”, “Tomato & Basil Humus Dip”, “Crunchy Curl”. Aldi’s “Sea Salt Caramel Hummus”, “Seasoned Pulled Chicken With Barbecue Sauce”, “Baked Potato Chips”, Wegman’s (or in big Walmart store) Silk Soy Yogurt, Morningstar Farm’s Veggie Breakfast Meatless Breakfast Patties and Meatless Sausage Links.

I hope there will be more healthy and tasty items coming to the market in 2022. I will keep on searching.

Search For Exercise Routine

I can’t find an exercise routine that I can stick with. They are all invariably boring. And going through any one of them is a pain. After the pandemic is over, I’ll definitely go back to a gym membership even though last time I had a hard time cancelling my LA Fitness membership. With Omicron raging, it is impractical to go to a gym right now.

I bought a home exercise machine five years ago, which was used exactly 10 times. Eventually I had to throw it away.

Search For Connection

I still remember that one day when I was 13. I had a big fight at school–a physical fight which was very rare for me–with a girl who’s physically strong than me. We were of the same height, but she’s obviously more muscular than I was. Fortunately she’s even a worse fighter than I was and we broke even. We had conflicts for a whole month due to the fact that me, as a newcomer, didn’t pay the respect that’s due to her. Now looking back, I should have just been sweet and polite, uttering a flattering words or two. The thing would have been smoothed over. How stupid I was. Anyway, I felt bad when walking home. I tried to think of somebody I could talk to, but couldn’t think of anybody. I didn’t have a friend that I could trust to be on my side and not my enemy’s, given the fact that everybody else grew up together while I was new. I thought about my parents and immediately I felt worse. I had no interest to tell them about this fight or anything else. I think that’s the moment I realized that I had to seek connection in other places…

I’ve always been searching for connections. That have been what I like to do and that will always be in my new year resolution. Growing up in a dysfunctional family with non-communicative relatives, I have loved other people’s moms many times, tutored neighborhood kids, given advice to people insistently and voluntarily (what a pest I am), talked to strangers about my psychological issues… There are many ways to feel connected and many ways to feel disconnected.

And writing is one of the best ways to feel connected. And recently I discovered prose poem and music poem. I read Terveen Gill’s post here and is quite inspired by it. Long before this, I bought an audible book on Wordsworth’s “Prelude” with music background and it is really good. I listened to it twice, but regretting that they actually cut the “Prelude” more than half. Why? Why not the whole thing? Hopefully in 2022, we can do some music poems.

33 thoughts on “Happy New Year 2022

    1. Thank you, Ashley. Such a wonderful post. I have been on my journey towards veganism for years, but I still have to consume one chicken leg and two eggs every day. I feel that I can’t reduce it anymore, but I will try.

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  1. I hope the new year brings out even more of your writing, Haoyan. And as a writer you are connected to your writing. That’s the perfect connection. Pure and steadfast. Your real stories are so interesting. Thank you for the mention and you and I will definitely do a video poem together. Now that’s a promise for the new year. Take care and stay blessed.
    PS- I’ve given up on my exercise routine for now. It’s okay to not be even close to perfect. Haha! 🙂

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    1. Tell me about it–exercise is very hard and I’ve tried very hard to find a routine that I can stick with but so far I haven’t been able to. I know some people will make it a group exercise with other people or with their pets. I may need to try that method. It is hard to do it alone. LOL. Wish you a happy new year with all the wishes come true.

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  2. Happy New Year. I can relate to a lot of this. I have other hobbies that I take up and drop when I get bored with them, but writing is the only one that I find truly satisfying. Thanks also for introducing me to the work of Terveen Gill. You also mentioned an audio version of Wordsworth’s “Prelude”, reminding me of my own efforts in this area, which I recorded years ago and uploaded to YouTube here:

    https://youtu.be/TTmt6ZkVcRs Wordsworth – Immortality Ode
    https://youtu.be/AqcrFgNUvL4 Wordsworth – Elegaic Stanzas
    https://youtu.be/7E7F9QRZhJo Fitzgerald – Rubaiyat of Omar Khayyam
    https://youtu.be/AhQFvym65po Yeats – An Irish Airman Foresees His Death
    https://youtu.be/JoBgRKqBX0w Eliot – The Love Song of J Alfred Prufrock
    https://youtu.be/LqPqRozVEwM Eliot – The Waste Land, Part 1

    The “Immortality Ode” got the most comments – most of them appreciative, but a few critical. Of course I was only an amateur with a cheap mic, and my mouth probably was a bit dry-sounding while I was reading!

    Liked by 2 people

    1. And Happy New Year to you. I listened to your poem videos and they are wonderful. Also I turned on my kindle fire pad and played some music. It is a wonderful combination and it brings the spirit of the poems out. I am not familiar with Elegaic or Rubaiyat, but I love all the rest of the poems.

      Liked by 1 person

    1. Happy New Year to you and your family (including your cats, which goes without saying I guess). Wish you a very product 2022 and all the happiness with your work and your family and your friends.

      Liked by 2 people

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