LOL. You are so right. I just read an article about young people in Japan and this problem is so prominent. Consequently young people prefer a life without love–living with friends or relatives all their life, like Marianne Moore. But of course the article doesn’t want to point out the real problem–women no longer wish to carry the burden of endless family obligations.
Yup the majority of my friends have decided not to get married or have children. Of course they may change their mind but from what I know about them this seems very unlikely.
I agree it has a lot to do with women no longer feeling obligated to live a certain way and make sacrifices they don’t need to make. Women also have more control over their lives then they used to.
My mother wanted to be the “new” woman, which generated unbelievable tension at home. It was an era when divorce was socially forbidden and economically impossible–people ended up living in bitterness and hypocrisy. Although there’s no physical abuse, the verbal abuse was outrageous. One casual word could set off an hour of harangue from someone who thought the rightful hierarchy was under attack.
So you are right that if a man and a woman cannot reach a consensus about family obligation and responsibility allocation. they really should not stay together.
Yeah my mum was in a similar situation and it was sad what she went through at times. I agree people should not stay together if they don’t agree about those things. Otherwise they’ll just end up resenting one another.
I know a lady who negotiated with her fiance, who insisted that he wants to help with daily chores but he doesn’t want to be asked. It means that he volunteers whenever he sees fits. The lady thought he really doesn’t understand the amount of work and the seriousness of the responsibility. She had to broke off the engagement.
And somehow I thought probably she had suspected of this response even before she asked him. Women have instincts. LOL. Only wish women have more choices when it comes to partners.
Actually that’s so true. Women need to explore and to have more experience first before settling down. However the thing is most young women are under a lot of pressure financially, emotionally, and career-wise. It makes it almost impossible to have the time and energy to explore. Also exploring is risky and the danger of it is obvious. I’ve witnessed a lot in this aspect. I know one woman who settled early but continued to explore–getting divorced and finding new love–but she is unbelievably energetic and most women don’t have that kind of energy.
Yeah I think women face a lot more pressure to settle down early and often this leads to them making choices they later regret. I think everyone needs time to explore and find the right person because otherwise you may end up with someone who isn’t right for you while the perfect match for you is still out there.
That’s exactly what I would say. Yes, explore more but I know it is easy said than done. Often such exploration is discouraged by the family, by time constraint, and by other considerations. LOL. I actually know a couple who very soon realized that they were not suitable for each other after their marriage, but they have been together ever since, each living in his or her corner so that they can have a life together. LOL.
Haoyan Do 
Amazing!
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Thanks.
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So sad yet so romantic and beautiful. Love is a very interesting emotion.
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Yes, love cannot fit in our modern life as well as we wish. LOL.
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These days it seems like love goes out of its way to turn our lives upside down haha.
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LOL. You are so right. I just read an article about young people in Japan and this problem is so prominent. Consequently young people prefer a life without love–living with friends or relatives all their life, like Marianne Moore. But of course the article doesn’t want to point out the real problem–women no longer wish to carry the burden of endless family obligations.
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Yup the majority of my friends have decided not to get married or have children. Of course they may change their mind but from what I know about them this seems very unlikely.
I agree it has a lot to do with women no longer feeling obligated to live a certain way and make sacrifices they don’t need to make. Women also have more control over their lives then they used to.
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My mother wanted to be the “new” woman, which generated unbelievable tension at home. It was an era when divorce was socially forbidden and economically impossible–people ended up living in bitterness and hypocrisy. Although there’s no physical abuse, the verbal abuse was outrageous. One casual word could set off an hour of harangue from someone who thought the rightful hierarchy was under attack.
So you are right that if a man and a woman cannot reach a consensus about family obligation and responsibility allocation. they really should not stay together.
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Yeah my mum was in a similar situation and it was sad what she went through at times. I agree people should not stay together if they don’t agree about those things. Otherwise they’ll just end up resenting one another.
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I know a lady who negotiated with her fiance, who insisted that he wants to help with daily chores but he doesn’t want to be asked. It means that he volunteers whenever he sees fits. The lady thought he really doesn’t understand the amount of work and the seriousness of the responsibility. She had to broke off the engagement.
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I would have broken it off with him too- that’s quite a big ego he has.
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And somehow I thought probably she had suspected of this response even before she asked him. Women have instincts. LOL. Only wish women have more choices when it comes to partners.
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Yeah I wish that too but a lot of women feel like they need to settle even though they deserve someone much better.
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Actually that’s so true. Women need to explore and to have more experience first before settling down. However the thing is most young women are under a lot of pressure financially, emotionally, and career-wise. It makes it almost impossible to have the time and energy to explore. Also exploring is risky and the danger of it is obvious. I’ve witnessed a lot in this aspect. I know one woman who settled early but continued to explore–getting divorced and finding new love–but she is unbelievably energetic and most women don’t have that kind of energy.
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Yeah I think women face a lot more pressure to settle down early and often this leads to them making choices they later regret. I think everyone needs time to explore and find the right person because otherwise you may end up with someone who isn’t right for you while the perfect match for you is still out there.
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That’s exactly what I would say. Yes, explore more but I know it is easy said than done. Often such exploration is discouraged by the family, by time constraint, and by other considerations. LOL. I actually know a couple who very soon realized that they were not suitable for each other after their marriage, but they have been together ever since, each living in his or her corner so that they can have a life together. LOL.
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👍♥️Love is like that
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Yes, love is very messy. LOL.
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Till the river jumps over the mountain…
What a nice way to say, Always🥰
Only poets like Auden can find those words
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Auden is wonderful in his love poems. He’s often frustrated by love, but he continues to love, and never gives up. How wonderful.
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