Have you ever had a friend who always ask you for advice but never take any of your advice? I have such a friend. So why does she ask then? Sometimes I think she just wants to ask me to make it look like she has consulted others. Or she just wants to poke holes in my argument to convince herself how smart she is. Or she just wants my advice as a decoration–to make up the number so that it looks like there are a lot of options. Or there might be some other reasons I don’t know of. Sometimes I imagine the dynamic between she and her husband inadvertently involves me–I am a clown or a joke of certain sort. She asks for my opinion and then she will use it as a joke to spice up their dinner conversation. I don’t know why I imagine such things, but I do. “Poor Haoyan,” they would sympathize while munching on a spring roll wrapped in rice paper, “she always says the Asian community is too conservative and she doesn’t like conventional wisdom. However she doesn’t know that the house always wins. Betting against the house is disastrous.”
When she was doing her intensive aerobic exercise, I advised her not to do it and told her she would end up hurting herself. She wouldn’t listen since she’s eager to lose weight. Needless to say, she ended up hurting her legs. She’s doing physical therapy now and thinking of possible surgery in the future.
“No more exercise. It’s way too dangerous.” I told her.
“I asked the doctors, but they say some people are prone to leg problems. Even people who don’t exercise can hurt their legs.” She said.
“So what they suggest? Keep on exercising? I can’t believe this. Whatever quark doctor you are seeing, you can’t exercise anymore.” I said, realizing that I really don’t understand how her mind works.