Listless Sunday

Waking up at 8:30 but not feeling rested. Why? It’s not like I was escaping a tiger in my dream and running breathlessly. I can’t even remember having a dream, just sleep without the air-conditioning on for the first time in many days. Why feeling so tired? Hope I am not contracting the virus. I read an article saying that those who have severe symptoms from the virus have low percentage of recovery rate. When I told my friend, he’s very alarmed. He’s never exhibit any symptom so far, but he always suspects that he might be the one who’s affected without showing symptoms. He asked me how about those who don’t show symptoms. I guess he would be OK despite his alarmist attitude. Anxiety is another modern pandemic, which lasts much longer than any other pandemics. Almost everybody I know is anxious.

Made a Vietnamese pizza for breakfast. It’s super easy to do. One rice sheet in the pan, add some meat, veggie, egg, and another rice sheet on top. Viola. Pizza ready, which reminds me that next time I should get some vegan cheese from Trader Joe’s. I should got some yesterday and I can’t remember why I didn’t. I still remember at one point I picked up two different vegan cheese packages and examined the ingredient closely. Well, even if I can’t remember, I guess I rejected them due to their high fat content or its inclusion of coconut oil or some other undesirable elements.

The weather is wonderful–without sunshine. Not that I don’t like sunshine. I love the sun, but not during the summer time. I remember when I was in primary school, I expressed the same opinion–people don’t change, do they–and I was criticized by my parents, who told me that the sun is necessary for the crops to grow well. I dislike my parents, but I know I am in the minority. Almost all my friends and acquaintances belong to the cult of parent worshipers. Whenever I let out a criticism, very mild criticism indeed and not those real criticisms I am really pondering, of my parents during our conversations–I try not to criticize them but sometimes words just jump out of my mouth in unguarded moments–my friends and acquaintances are offended so much that they attack me, saying things, jokingly of course, like I must be an disobedient child or something else which can provide an excuse for my parents. That’s when I realize that I need to shut up on any topic involving parents since I can’t say anything akin to slight displeasure and I’m unwilling to join in the universal praise. Actually I know one person, a boy who has so much trouble with his father throughout his life–praising his father and telling him he’s the smartest guy. I was shocked when I heard his father recalled his excitement when he heard his son praising him. I thought this is too weird for my taste. I mean I can understand if this family is a royal family or a political family in which one has to behave according to a certain protocol against one’s real emotions. However this is a very ordinary family and the grown-up boy was not under any duress to eulogize.

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