
“…freedom…my cage is simply getting bigger” is a quote from the book “All the Words I Kept Inside” by P. J. Gudpa. In one of the poems, she talked about seeking freedom and realizing she gets a bigger cage rather than true freedom.
I think the freedom vs. bigger cage analogy can be used on immigrants, who seek freedom in a new place. For example, we look for economic, ideological freedom, or a distance from old customs, or a better academic environment. We tend to get at least a portion of what we seek. However isn’t it just a bigger cage? Or in some cases, it is not even a bigger cage, but a different cage with better trappings.
This is perfectly reflected in my friend Q who was such a vivacious girl when we were in college together. Now she has a bigger mortgage, a bigger house, as loud a voice as before, a better understanding of life, a quicker mind for practicality. For her, she gets her bigger cage, which is probably exactly what she wanted from the very beginning. She probably never wanted freedom. I wonder.
I somehow suspect that all these brilliant people I admire like Marilyn French, Savitribai Phule, Qiu Jin, Simone de Beauvoir have only achieved to get women a bigger cage. Probably just a little bigger. Still it is an achievement. In Simone Weil’s case, she had to try so hard and die so young in order to make her point. She didn’t have to do this. She could just have an easy life and enjoy herself, but… I have to say what she was fighting for was intoxicating. Without such an intoxication, it could not have sustained her interest and her spirit. I often feel this way too. The fight for justice and equality is intoxicating. It doesn’t matter what the end is—be it a bigger cage, a real freedom, an ideal world or utter futility—the struggle itself is intriguing, absorbing, and thrilling. It is better than any thriller that has ever been written.
That’s food for thoughts. “My cage is getting bigger”
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Thanks so much for mentioning my book and glad that poem resonated with you. Actually, when I wrote it I was thinking of immigration/migrants because that’s how I felt when I was living in Canada. Not always, but during certain experiences/instances.
And a bigger cage is definitely not a bad thing for women, I think we went from being forced into a cage too small to having more room now. Still not free but at least we have more room and continue fighting till we’re free.
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Yes, every poem can be a story I experienced once or even repeatedly. Your book has such an immediate effect on me. I have been wondering how much of your immigrant life in Canada influenced the content of your poems. You are such a brave girl who refuses to fall into the immigrant trap that most immigrants fall into, refuses to let women’s stereotype or social pressure to influence your decision. You are certainly not “painfully ordinary”, but rather extraordinary to be so young and so decisive and so perceptive and so brave. I wish I had your insights when I was in my twenties.
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Thank you so much, I really appreciate you saying that. Sometimes I fall into the traps too but I try my best to make decisions that are right for me and not others. About half the book was written while I was living in Canada and the other half after I moved back to Kenya.
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Yes, I was just reading it. “I want you to love me for my darkness.” Love that line. You have such a dark twist to all the posts you wrote. Love it.
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Thank you, haha yes I love those dark twists.
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