Cultural Differences In A Restaurant

Diary, Food, Reflections 3 Minutes


As you know, I like to watch videos about food although I dislike cooking, eat almost like a vegan, and often delay dish washing until it is impossible to delay anymore. I used to like cooking and shopping for food etc., but my enthusiasm has suffered a steady decline for years. Recently, food is more like a sustenance or even a nuisance for me. However my interest in watching food videos has never faded. If anything, it has increased, for some inexplicable reason.

I watched a YouTube video, in which this guy went to a local restaurant with his friend. The only reason I watched this video is because this guy speaks very clearly and relatively slower than other Spanish speakers. With my double subtitles turned on, I could follow him well if I stayed focused and made necessary stops to go back a minute or two whenever I couldn’t catch up. In addition, he also has a layback demeanor and doesn’t conform to the popular beauty standard, which is what I like. Actually he looks a little like George in Seinfeld, bald and short. But unlike George, he seems very good natured.

At the Table

He and his companion ate exactly the same dish, but they didn’t split one dish, but rather they ordered two dishes that were exactly the same, one for each. Basically he was the one who hosted this video and who did the ordering from the beginning to the end. His companion just followed him. In the middle of the meal, he suddenly said to his companion, “I am only going to spend 50 euros for each of us for this meal, and I think I will be ordering the dessert soon.”

I just couldn’t help laughing since we, as Asians, would never say this. And even if we have to say it, we will never keep a video record of it, let alone announce it on social media for the world to know. I don’t know why it is the case, but it is the case. There seems to be an unwritten rule against it, and since it is unwritten, it is hard to pinpoint what it is. It is not that we tend to spend more money in a restaurant. That’s definitely not the case. It is not that we don’t talk about money. Actually we talk about money just like everybody else and we like to push ourselves to the brink of psychological meltdown to make money and refuse to admit there is such a thing called the emotional cost.

Ask Questions

When he asked his companion about the project he had told him before, the trip he would take, the guests he would invite, for whatever reasons his companion refused to answer and tried to steer the conversation away. And he said, “you don’t like this kind of question, do you? I feel a little embarrassed that I asked, but you know the reason I asked is because blah blah blah…”

Don’t you think there is another cultural difference here? We will never say that. Or probably this is not a cultural difference, but rather a gender difference. As a woman, I will never say this is a little embarrassing even if I am terribly embarrassed, and I will never explain why I ask a question even if the question is an extremely impertinent one. I will just be quiet if the conversation is steered away. Later on, if I still want to pursue the question, I will come back to ask the same question, but rephrase it as if it is a different question.

An Awkward Moment

The same guy in another video went to a Japanese restaurant and recorded his own awkward handling (or rather mishandling) of chopsticks. He was very much amused by it. He continuously made fun of himself while food items dropped one after another from his two little sticks. At one point, a piece of fish almost reached his mouth, but to slip away at the last instance, dropping out of the view, supposedly falling to the floor.

I sensed that he thought this was very entertaining, but I didn’t see it. I guess this is some sort of cultural difference here. If I am unskilled in chopsticks and have to do a video about eating with chopsticks, I will have practiced it until my hand aches and my arm hurts. I will have practiced until I can pick up a little glass ball soaked in a bowl of slippery olive oil.

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25 thoughts on “Cultural Differences In A Restaurant”

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  4. Quite a few cultural differences. Indians would never say that either, especially not on video lol. I love using chopsticks and have become really good at it over the years. I don’t think they’re hard to use, just that it takes a bit of getting used to. But they’re so fun to use. I would have practiced too if I was going to be using chopsticks on camera and didn’t know how to use them.

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        1. I was just talking to a friend and probably I talked too much. She and I have not been on the same page for a while and it is easy to offend each other when this happens.

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  5. You can never really hide your weaknesses, so if you own them: 1) it disarms potential accusers; 2) it can make you more interesting, charming, or humorous. I do think there are cultural differences. My oldest son married a Samoan woman and they had a regular and very large wedding in Seattle. I was only father of the groom but they asked me to deliver one of the toasts. It was in the style of a stand-up comedy and was very well received. A few weeks later, a few members of the wedding party traveled to Utah for a second big wedding reception featuring many different traditions I was not familiar with. I was not expecting to speak but was told by the bride’s stepfather that I was delivering a toast after the bride’s mother about ten minutes from when I was told. He had been one of the few from Utah present at the Seattle wedding and told me he really enjoyed my toast in Seattle but that it would not go over well here. Yikes!

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    1. So true. I don’t know why people (me included) take the trouble to hide and form the habit of hiding. Wow, I guess it easy to say something that is not perfectly aligned. You must have given a great speech. I often see such kind of toasts in movies or TV series, and wonder if every speaker is prepared or what i would say if I am ever called upon to say something in public. I won’t be able to handle it. LOL.

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      1. After being surprised a few times, I came up with a strategy of thinking what I would say if put on the spot, no matter how remote the possibility. At the very least, such preparation makes you better prepared for one on one conversation.

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        1. That’s a great strategy. Be prepared. I know a historical period, during which everybody was crazy about poems. One was forced to compose a poem and recite it for almost every occasion. By the way, my steppe story is about this period and I have included it in my story. LOL. Anyway, when I was reading about this period, I thought to myself it was rather frightening to live in that period. I would hide myself at home and never even go out for dinner. How am I supposed to come up with an impromptu poem while chewing on a piece of chicken or something?

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  9. It also reminds me of a regular column in British newspaper years ago that was written in “Franglais” (jokey made-up French). British people thought it was hilarious but French people couldn’t see why it was funny. I suppose it just seemed lame to them – like the inability to use chopsticks!

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    1. I can imagine that, like watching a Japanese show or game and not understanding why the audience are laughing. For example, there was a Japanese game quite a while ago with people sitting at a table with the most delicious food on display. The contestants sat there, not doing anything. They sat and sat and sat. The one who could last the longest without picking up the chopsticks to eat the food would win. For the life of me, I couldn’t understand why this could be a game and why this was remotely entertaining.

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  10. Re the last paragraph … I can only speak for the UK, but I think we have the idea that people will like us more if we show our weaknesses. So if we make a fool of ourselves we expect it to work to our advantage!

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