Image by Karolina Grabowska from Pixabay
I have nothing to write about today. I’ve had another “same old same old” day with my mind often occupied by mundane concerns I had to deal with. Both the immediacy of the issues and the expediency of the solutions made me feel like a problem solving servant who didn’t have the power to choose, but was chosen to be a helper for somebody else.
I cooked two new vegan dishes last weekend and they were both disasters, which I am ashamed to describe the details here. Anyway, since this is an era of inflation, I don’t have the option of throwing the awful dishes away without feeling a pang of guilt. So I end up eating the horrible leftover for dinner today. This seriously affected my mood for the night. Now I can understand why some people are upset when their spouses can’t cook well. Actually I know a person who divorced his wife for another woman who could cook much better. Maybe I should write it as a flash fiction.
I tried to cheer a girl up by telling her how to go talk with her professors even if English is not her first language. She expressed her unwillingness and uneasiness, but I encouraged her to go. I told her that she could practice first on her TA (teaching assistant) or other graduate students. She is a very sweet girl, very young and very inexperienced. Somehow I feel that young girls like her, and young boys too, should be given more opportunities to talk, to practice, to experience so that they can have a better grasp of the real world they are living in.
Read an article on Vanity Fair about Rupert Murdoch, which is quite unflattering towards him. I am just a little afraid for the author and the magazine: would Rupert Murdoch sue them? I watched two episodes of “Succession” on HBO when I had HBO two years ago. However I didn’t know at the time that “Succession” is based on Rupert Murdoch family. Anyway, the first two episodes are so depressing that I couldn’t get into it. So I just gave up after two episodes.
I suddenly recall one of my friendships more than ten years ago. I should have quit the friendship from the very beginning, but she somehow “friend bombed” me and I was quite flattered that somebody paid me some attention. She had very good manners, but now looking back, I could see the hidden antagonism she had for other people. I don’t think she did that on purpose, but she was brought up by a narcissistic mother (I met her mother more than twice) and very likely she was just copying her mother without realizing that she was antagonizing and alienating people. Sometimes after chatting with her, I felt more lonely. I considered it very strange and ignored the feeling. My chatting with her was for the purpose of feeling a bit of togetherness, but I never really felt it. I should have listened to my heart and gave up the friendship right there, but I didn’t. I let it drag on and on until the disastrous end.
Haoyan Do 
We need to listen to our hearts more often. Especially when they’re screaming non-stop. Lol.
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Yes, we do. And for people who are traumatized by bad early experiences, listening to the heart is not enough. And it can get very tricky sometimes.
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🫶
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Love this post as it does a great job of taking me along through the thought frame of a day. I am inspired to recollect everything I think about and do over the course of a day and see what meaning, if any, I can find in it! Thanks for sharing. 🙂
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Haha, thank you for your comment. Often we have scattered thoughts throughout the day and no real story line. I don’t know what to do with these shapeless thoughts and how they can be molded into something more structured.
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People often “love bomb” their friends or partners. It’s a tactic often used by narcissists to control people.
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Yes, when being love bombed, many people would disregard the fact that the narcissists who love bombed them are really keeping them in a distance and antagonize against them. It is very easy to fall into a pitfall like that.
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Sounds like you had a pretty blah day today. I totally get that feeling of being stuck in the same old routine. It sucks when you put all this effort into trying a new recipe and it just turns out to be a disaster. So now I feel better about my own cooking fails. At least you’re being frugal by not wasting the food, right?
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I have to say the fact that I have to eat the disastrous food failures really prevent me from trying more new recipes. I really hate food failures since I don’t want to waste food and have no courage to throw tasteless food away.
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That’s interesting!
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Even your “nothings” are worth writing about. Disastrous end?
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Yes, it was really horrible. I should have stopped this toxic friendship when I could, but I was weak and couldn’t figure out my own mental problem at the time. She’s also a victim of the narcissism of her mother (middle class from an industrialized place), which was why we attracted each other. It soon turned very toxic and she became antagonistic, but still very friendly. It was exactly the kind of cold narcissism wrapped in a polite manner of my own family. I had to spend a lot of money to match her life style, which I couldn’t carry on for obvious reasons. It was a disaster waiting to be happening and happened.
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Thank you for sharing your normal day with us.
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Thank you for commenting.
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