We are really lucky that we haven’t got much snow at all. The wind was fierce earlier today, but now it finally calms down; the temperature plunges to 13F (-13C) after dark, but it’s not as bad as yesterday.
I finished two loads of laundry; boiled a pot of soy milk from soy powder; cooked soy pancakes; subscribed to Kindle Unlimited for the time being at least; talked on phone with two anxious clients who finally calmed down to enjoy the holiday atmosphere.
And just as I was relaxing into my holiday mood, I received a little amazon gift from my friend S. I couldn’t help letting out a big sigh. I was happy with the little gift, but I was a little dismayed that her husband was the one who emailed me the gift. Why couldn’t S do it?
I know the reason. It is because the husband control the family finance. I just feel … I don’t know how I feel. I mean this is just some family petty cash and I expected that S would email me the gift, but S couldn’t.
This is what I feel–I feel that the Asian community here is so much more conservative than people back home that I am really disappointed. I mean back home I know many women who control the family’s purse string despite the fact that they earn less than their husbands.
I understand that the family dynamic in immigrants’ family here is different, and it is impossible that people living in New Jersey behave like people back home. Still, I feel that there are too many women like S, who has almost no say in the family financial issues.
I also know W, who couldn’t stop her husband from buying a house for his mother in a remote village where W will never go to live. The real estate in this remote village is not really booming and the price is not high. However still it costs twenty grand. And it is unfair for W that her husband should make such a decision despite W’s objection.
I understand that when I was growing up in the wind swept Mongolian Steppe, life was tough. Because life was tough and there were not much money around, it was very important for a woman to do good budgeting and allocate everything economically. And it’s a tradition that women control the family finance and make good planning of it. Otherwise, many essentials would not even be paid. I guess it was because of the tough condition, there was no other way around this issue. And a clever girl had to settle the financial issue first with her sweetheart before she got married.
Of course life is not so tough here and there’s no need for women to keep a tight grip on the family purse. And this is the reason many women end up like S. And fortunately in America, most of the money people have are tied up in house, mortgages, cars, and retirement accounts. There are not much free cash flowing around and disposable income is never that much to begin with. I think this is a good system to keep a wife and a husband on relatively equal footing as far as their joint marital asset is concerned.
I don’t know. I shouldn’t write about this issue on a special day like today, but it just comes up and I can’t help it. Happy Holidays and let’s forget about all the imperfections of our life.