I Used To Drink Like That

Image by Pexels from Pixabay

It is said Chiapas, Mexico is the capital of Coca-Cola–not that they produce the fizzy beverage, but rather they drink it more than any other places in the world. In certain towns in this state, people drink on average 2 liters of it per day per person. That’s more than what I used to drink. In my 20s, I used to drink about four cans of Coca-Cola a day, which is roughly equivalent to 1.4 liters. One for breakfast, one for lunch, one for dinner, and one for snack between meals. People who knew me would comment on my strange beverage choice for breakfast: an ice cold Coca-Cola. They thought I was a little weird.

Actually when I look back now, I realize that I had a mild binge-eating disorder, which gradually and slowly went away after I hit 30. It was not a serious disorder that would blow me up to a body weight of 300 pounds. It’s not as dramatic as that. I only ate apple, pear, peach, tomato, in huge quantities during the summer time when these fruits and vegetables were so abundant and so available that people were forced to buy them in big bulks–smaller quantities were not even sold. At the time in the southern Steppe area we lived in, transportation was not so good and the fruits and vegetables produced during the summer couldn’t be shipped out and the industry of canning them for the future was not developed yet. So my mother bought bulks and bulks of fruits and vegetables, and I swallowed them as if I was a bottomless pit.

Among people who grew up in narcissistic household, eating disorder (or substance abuse) is quite common. If these eating disorders are not really so serious, they are often swept under the carpet and left unnoticed. So that was me when I was young, not knowing that I was having psychological issues. I didn’t even know I had a problem with food although some people managed to point out to me my less than normal behavior. And this seemingly mild and less serious binge habit, practiced every summer, eventually took a toll on my body–I ended up having colitis and type II diabetes, which I have tried to control ever since.

If I had known I was having an eating disorder, triggered by living under two narcissistic parents, I could have stopped the bad eating habit to protect my body in my 20s or even earlier. However I didn’t know. My ignorance damaged not only my mental well being, but also my physical well being.

Know yourself since not knowing oneself is really bad for one’s life. And usually one doesn’t know it is really bad for one’s life until it is too late. That’s the regrettable part of it.

Actually I know two women who have mild eating disorders and one man who have a mild drinking problem. My amateurish diagnosis for them is that they have or had narcissistic relationships in their life, which they have tried to turn blind eyes to… I haven’t talked with them about this since I know they will reject my words and choose to live in denial; or I might be mistaken in my unprofessional observation of them. I am wondering what I should do… Be quiet about it or let the cat out of the bag?

19 thoughts on “I Used To Drink Like That

  1. I believe in the need to understand ourselves too. Because we can really drift through life and go down a real unoptimised path. Thanks for sharing your story here, and I’m glad you kicked your soda habit!

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Obsessions and addictions are consequences of some sort of trauma. It’s never easy to figure out whether one is suffering from them, and when others mention the oddities, then anger or denial is the usual reaction. It’s a tough decision to make, Haoyan. But could help someone.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thank you for saying that. Yes, I hope someone who has a mild food obsession can start to examine their life and know more about themselves and their family. It is not an easy process and I wish I have helped.

      Liked by 1 person

  3. I used to eat my feelings when I was a teenager and it did harm my body. Sometimes we turn to food to comfort us. I still do that except now I watch food videos on YT so I can watch others eat lol.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I wonder if there’s a word for this since so many people love to watch other people eat. I didn’t even know such things exist before. But this is really probably human nature. Me too. I love to watch videos of people eating food.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. There must be a word for it, I just don’t know it. Yeah many people love watching such videos especially videos of people eating huge amounts of junk food. I guess it’s like living out a fantasy since we can’t or won’t eat like that ourselves.

        Liked by 1 person

        1. I have definitely observed that there’s a new trend of watching animal eat. When I searched youtube, there came out a huge number of animal eating food, with a big microphone hanging around to catch the chewing sound. I think human beings are a little mad in general…

          Liked by 1 person

        2. Yes, I am like watching animal eating too… for example, a tortoise eating water melon or a rabbit eat a cake etc…Humans have very strange habits. Without social media, I would never know that I can enjoy people or animal eat…

          Liked by 1 person

        3. Yes, I just watched a video about a tortoise eating a piece of watermelon, and giant river otters in Amazon (the river, not the company) eat a crocodile creature that’s called caimen or something.

          Liked by 1 person

  4. I think I read somewhere that many East Asian people cannot tolerate alcohol for some genetic reason. They react badly to it and therefore can’t enjoy it. This probably makes it less likely that they will become alcoholics – so it has an upside. However I think I also read that if they have an addictive personality they will turn to other “vices” like gambling – since they can’t drink. This is one theory as to why gambling is popular in that part of the world. Do you think there is any truth in this?

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I’ve seen people drinking a lot in East Asia, but I have to say people always claim that drinking without eating food is bad for you. Also people drink heated alcohol during the winter time. I wonder if somebody has studied the gambling psychology since I really want to know what lead to the obsession of gambling…

      Liked by 1 person

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