It is said Chiapas, Mexico is the capital of Coca-Cola–not that they produce the fizzy beverage, but rather they drink it more than any other places in the world. In certain towns in this state, people drink on average 2 liters of it per day per person. That’s more than what I used to drink. In my 20s, I used to drink about four cans of Coca-Cola a day, which is roughly equivalent to 1.4 liters. One for breakfast, one for lunch, one for dinner, and one for snack between meals. People who knew me would comment on my strange beverage choice for breakfast: an ice cold Coca-Cola. They thought I was a little weird.
Actually when I look back now, I realize that I had a mild binge-eating disorder, which gradually and slowly went away after I hit 30. It was not a serious disorder that would blow me up to a body weight of 300 pounds. It’s not as dramatic as that. I only ate apple, pear, peach, tomato, in huge quantities during the summer time when these fruits and vegetables were so abundant and so available that people were forced to buy them in big bulks–smaller quantities were not even sold. At the time in the southern Steppe area we lived in, transportation was not so good and the fruits and vegetables produced during the summer couldn’t be shipped out and the industry of canning them for the future was not developed yet. So my mother bought bulks and bulks of fruits and vegetables, and I swallowed them as if I was a bottomless pit.
Among people who grew up in narcissistic household, eating disorder (or substance abuse) is quite common. If these eating disorders are not really so serious, they are often swept under the carpet and left unnoticed. So that was me when I was young, not knowing that I was having psychological issues. I didn’t even know I had a problem with food although some people managed to point out to me my less than normal behavior. And this seemingly mild and less serious binge habit, practiced every summer, eventually took a toll on my body–I ended up having colitis and type II diabetes, which I have tried to control ever since.
If I had known I was having an eating disorder, triggered by living under two narcissistic parents, I could have stopped the bad eating habit to protect my body in my 20s or even earlier. However I didn’t know. My ignorance damaged not only my mental well being, but also my physical well being.
Know yourself since not knowing oneself is really bad for one’s life. And usually one doesn’t know it is really bad for one’s life until it is too late. That’s the regrettable part of it.
Actually I know two women who have mild eating disorders and one man who have a mild drinking problem. My amateurish diagnosis for them is that they have or had narcissistic relationships in their life, which they have tried to turn blind eyes to… I haven’t talked with them about this since I know they will reject my words and choose to live in denial; or I might be mistaken in my unprofessional observation of them. I am wondering what I should do… Be quiet about it or let the cat out of the bag?