Image by “That’s like fifteen years ago when I just started a new job. And I was newly engaged and was thinking of getting married in two or three months. One day I was taking my night shift. He suddenly appeared, seemingly a little out of breath and out of spirit. I was not busy that night and he just sat down and talked with me, which was very odd. He’s not the kind of person who likes to talk with girls and we all thought he’s shy and reserved. I had not known that he could talk nonstop like that. He just went on and on. He hinted that I should take more time to think and to explore. Also he hinted one or two incidents of my future husband that I didn’t know.
“I was very surprised at his sudden exertion of himself. I didn’t say much and he talked a lot. Then he left just as abruptly as he arrived. Now I reflect on those days, I think that’s the kind of person he is. He seemed a little awkward, but I guess it’s only because he’s too sincere that sometimes he takes care of his honest words more than he takes care of his manners.
“I didn’t think much about what he said and soon I got married with my husband. However his words just pop out from time to time and many things he said really make sense. You know he is the exact opposite kind of person, I mean compared with my husband, who is smooth, polite, relaxed, never losing his cool.
“I have often wondered what would happen if I realized that he loved me. You know I didn’t realize he loved me. If I did, I might do something different. I might reconsider. The alternative history is fascinating.”
Sandi pauses and looks at her friends Lulan.
“Well, your husband has charm. When you were young, you couldn’t resist that kind of charm, while this secret admire of yours is a little awkward, a little shy, a little too sincere, a little less urbane, probably a little less handsome…” Lulan says.
“You are right. I guess I would probably still choose my husband. However why can’t I stop thinking about him? Why didn’t he express his love earlier? Is this called regret? Did something similar happen to your life? I mean I am just surprised how much I value that one hour talk that I could remember it so well and think about it so often.” Sandi says.
“Well, I don’t have anything similar happening to me. I wish I did. Let me think. Among all the human relationships, I have been most impressed and fascinated by those bubbly girls. You know I grew up in a very cold and reserved and silent family. When I came to America for college, I met several bubbly girls and I just couldn’t have enough of them. I was particularly friendly with Lydia, the student from South America. I think Chile is the country she’s from. She’s so loving and cheerful that I just couldn’t help wanting to be with her. I even thought of studying Spanish, but I abandoned the idea when I saw the huge verb conjugation tables. I often wonder why there are no bubbly girls among Asian women. I mean women are naturally bubbly, chatty, giggling, which are frowned upon by societies in general, but which are women’s natural attributes. This is why I dislike those authors, who considers women’s attributes silly and even deceptive. Anyway, that’s a different topic….” Here Lulan is interrupted by Sandi:
“Lulan, I start to think that you might be a lesbian.” Sandi says.
“I wondered about that for a long time, and I even tested myself but I think I am just a boring straight woman. If I were a lesbian, my life would probably have been more colorful. Too bad I am not. Or probably I haven’t explored that direction yet? And does it really matter? I mean my parents had a marriage that fit the most conservative values of any country, but look how much they tortured and plagued each other. I mean it doesn’t matter what kind of person. I mean a ghost, a one-eyed Cyclops, a three eyed monster, a Martian. I want the love. It doesn’t matter with who.” Lulan says.
“Oh, shut up, Lulan. If I have, for example, four ears, you would have been frightened and would have escaped as fast as you can. You only say this to show your inclusiveness because I don’t have four ears.” Sandi says.
“Well, let me think how I may respond to this…” Lulan says.
Haoyan Do 
What a lovely story!
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Thank you.
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I always thought Don Ho was singing about Tiny Bubbles in the wine but maybe he was referring to this whole bubbly girl phenomenon.š
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Haha, don’t know about Don Ho, but I certainly love the bubbly girl and wish all the bubbly girls in the world rise and shine and chat to their hearts’ content.
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I am all for that!
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Me too.
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Those “what-if” moments always get to me as well.
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Yes, the alternative history. Haunting us.
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Lovely story, Haoyan we can all second guess so many things about our lives. I enjoyed the banter between friends and the discussion about the characteristics of the two men. Great piece. Have a blessed weekend. Big hugs š¤
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Yes, and some of the second guess just won’t go away. Well, if only women can have more experiences. We can do away with these guesses if the experiences and exploration can be more open and more available.
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So true in terms of all experiences in our lives. There have always been one set of rules for women and one for men. The more cultures respect women the more this will change and we have a very long way to go. ā¤ļøš¤š¦š„°
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Yes, long way to go and wish more women understand and experience more…
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I mean in the conservative community I have been living in, experiences for women are very limited. I don’t think this can be applied to other communities.
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You would be surprised. It really all boils down to women being allow to do the same things as men. I honestly think it is still about equal rights. We still have a long way to go in the states too. Sending you big hugs. ā¤ļøš¤š¤š¦
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Hear, hear. Without the experience and freedom, one feels so cooped up and unhappy.
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I enjoyed this story. I found the bubbly girl part fascinating. I am not Asian, but I have never been a bubbly girl. my daughter and I had a conversation about this the other day. She isn’t a bubbly girl wither. We came to the conclusion we would have gotten further in our office careers if we’d been more bubbly because it was somehow connected with having a positive attitude. Go figure.
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Wow, I talked with my friend about a bubbly girl just yesterday. Wow, I guess you and I had idea-related telepathy. LOL. My friend said she had a new neighbor who’s a bubbly Asian girl and this is the first bubbly Asian she had ever met in her life. We just sighed that there are almost no bubbly Asians. We both wondered why.
Yes, I agree with you that our bubbly side (even the bubbly side with smaller bubbles) can help us be happier and even empower us in what we do. LOL. Just a guess. I was never a bubbly person myself.
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I tried but failed. Now that I am older bubbly would be translated into the dementia zone.
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I did try once or twice with small bubbles, but could never pull it off, no matter how small the bubbles were. LOL. However, you are always one of the sweetest persons in my view. And so positive and encouraging. So full of bubbling potentials even though you stay away from bubbles.
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Thankyou for suggesting I bubble potential.
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I guess what matters most is the beauty that shows from the inside of a person. It automatically reflects on the surface. Love the sarcastic punches in this one, Haoyan. š
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So true. We need courage to demonstrate our inner beauty. We want to encourage ourselves to do that. Otherwise other people would not know.
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Nice post
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thank you
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