Has She Changed?

Image by Martin dalsgaard from Pixabay

Do you think people around you change? Or probably they haven’t really changed, but it is you who discovers something new about them that you haven’t discovered before. I have had this friend for years, but only recently I start to feel that she becomes less cooped up and less righteous. I don’t know if she has changed or it is me who has discovered something that I didn’t notice before.

I am very slow in picking up signals, very slow in observing others, and very awkward in social settings. This is probably due to my upbringing. With my parents constantly fighting in hot or cold battles, with neither of them having any interest in child rearing, I grew up trying hard to block myself away from my environment, disengaging rather than engaging with my immediate vicinity. I left home when I was 15 to attend a rather bad boarding school. I knew its reputation–its bad food routinely made students sick, and its ridiculous curriculum and rules can make me cringe when I think about it decades later. Still I was determined to go because I wanted to leave my parents as soon as I could. Since then, I have learned to pick up signals, but I can only do it clumsily and I often make mistakes. This is probably why I didn’t notice this side of my friend L.

My friend L said to me yesterday, “you don’t like sports.” And I said, “you are right.” We were talking about all the sport events in February, from Australian Open, Winter Olympics, to Super Bowl. L is being more forthcoming and less cagey than before, which is such a good thing. One just feels so good when one discovers something new and endearing about one’s friends. Or probably she is this way before, and I didn’t notice it–I know I can be quite unobservant and quite slow in reading between the lines and hearing the implicit meanings. She was trying to ask me why I take notice of sports if I don’t like sports, and I suddenly didn’t know how to reply.

Now I think of it–why I follow a little bit on every sport. I have no interest in sporting events, but… Let me think. I think it’s probably because I want to see if there’s a story there. For example, I heard people talking about the Manning family who is an American football legend and wondered if there are some good stories there.

And tennis always has interesting stories. I was not paying much attention to tennis until I read Agassi’s book “Open”, which is such a wonderful biography. That was the first day I bought my Kindle reader and this is the book suggested by Amazon. Since it was on sale, you know I couldn’t really resist. So I bought it and it is surprisingly well written and according to the book, it is written by Agassi himself. I was truly surprised that a professional athlete could be such a great storyteller.

And figure skating always has good stories. Remember Tonya vs. Nancy. I can’t even remember the details anymore, but somehow Tonya’s friend attacked Nancy. Then Michelle Kwan should have won the Olympic medal but didn’t. When she was about to get married in 2013, I thought of writing to her to tell her that it is a mistake. I didn’t do it. And guess what. I knew it. They got divorced. She could be a politician herself, representing the Bay Area of California. That’s what she should aim at, at least in my opinion. She should concentrate on her own political career rather than her husband’s career.

18 thoughts on “Has She Changed?

  1. I think it’s both people change and perception becomes clearer. What comes first? I think it is the same question as the chicken and the egg. I find people are like trees. They do change and are changing in front of us, yet we cannot really notice it until time passes.

    Like you, I am not into sports either yet for some reason I love sports movies. The Sandlot and A League of the Their Own are my favorite baseball movies. Slapshot for hockey. Leatherheads for American football. I also love Kung-Fu Soccer for soccer/football . . . although I don’t think that counts.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I think so too. People change–sometimes for the better and sometimes worse. Wish everything is moving towards a good direction now and the past two years have been tough.
      I have never watched any sports movies. I wonder why. However I watched plenty of Kung Fu movies. LOL.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. I have a very similar attitude to sport, but I have not even gone as far as you in trying to find something of interest in it. In a way I wish I was more interested in it because the more things you are interested in the better. You are less likely to get bored. The psychology interests me a bit I suppose. I noticed after the Brexit referendum in the UK that people who were football supporters generally had a greater sense of things being either “fair” or “unfair” – whereas as a non-sports-supporter I generally just see politics as a power struggle. I suppose you could say that I’ve had less practice at being a “good loser”!

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    1. That’s very interesting. I guess people who love sports do have a different outlook on life and a different opinion on things. As you know, Super Bowl is happening and I dare not go to the grocery store this weekend since it would be packed. Suddenly all those people who never come to the grocery stores would show up to buy soda, chips etc.


  3. My Mother actually was a sports fan but would have followed sports news even if she were not. Because she wanted to be “a part of her times.” So she tried to know at least a little about anything topical. It meant she was a great conversationalist/dinner partner but also walked out of quite a few movies.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. So true. If one doesn’t know anything about football, one doesn’t feel “a part of her times.” You are so right about it. I mean I don’t know football at all, but I still looked up who’s playing whom. It seems a goat and a tiger are going to play each other tomorrow.


  4. Picking up signals or noticing changes is something we all have the capability to do. I’m just mostly too disinterested to think about it for more than a few minutes. Probably just too tired with drama. The best is not to overthink things. Great sharing, Haoyan. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yes, overthinking is so bad and often brings anxieties. Sometimes our friends change for the better and show us their wonderful aspects that we didn’t notice before. I do feel that I like my friends better as time goes on as they really become more matured and knowledgeable about life itself.

      Liked by 1 person

    1. Yes, I know two people who can’t talk enough about the Manning family. They were both Giants fans before. LOL. I know nothing about sports but try to pick up a little bit here and there just so that I am not completely ignorant.

      Liked by 1 person

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