The Insomnia

Diary, Food, Health, memoir, Reflections 3 Minutes

Image by S. Hermann & F. Richter from Pixabay

I can’t believe I’m having insomnia again. I should take melatonin. It says 10mg maximum strength–is it too strong? It is said it’s a hormone. Taking hormone is damaging to one’s body, probably. I should read online reviews about it and know all the side effects.

It was a very good day today, until 6:30PM when I started to make a vegan omelette with chickpea flour. All because of that food show on YouTube? What’s the name of the show? I can’t remember. Is my memory getting bad? I just watched it yesterday–a very handsome chef with a British accent and of North African descent. Seriously, whenever a chef is too handsome, I suspect he’s admired more for his physical appeal than for his cooking skill. Except Anthony Bourdain of course, who has a last name that’s impossible to spell. I always think he’s a gambler. He must be. I can tell. I don’t know why I can tell but I can tell.

Really? I know I always make mistakes. A lot of women have intuitions which are often right, but my intuitions are often wrong. For example, I can’t tell the difference between a man’s projected image and his true self. I often mistake the former for the later until one day real life events step in to force the true image to be revealed. Am I ranting? My brain is always ranting nonstop. So this melatonin is not working. Should I take a sleeping pill?

So the chickpea omelette didn’t work out well and my happy mood was spoiled of course. See, I told you. He’s too handsome to cook a tasty dish. Then I tried to do a poem with music and animation but that failed again just like the previous times. Wait, probably I can try an Instagram reel, which will not require any software manipulation skills. That’s a thought. Then I started to clean up the book shelf but didn’t feel like throwing away any books. That 50 psychology classics or symptoms, remember that book? I feel that I have all the bad symptoms from the book and none of the good ones. Then I tried to throw away a magazine from the mail, which describes a Jersey Shore University Medical Center. Really? A Jersey Shore University? Jersey Shore is more related with reality shows, mafia series like Sapranos or Boardwalk Empire. I can’t believe I haven’t watched any of them. I really need to get up and take a sleeping pill. I can’t just let my mind rants me to madness.

And of course JM called me and she always gives me the vibe of trying to get information from friends without trying to connect with them. Well, she’s a nice person in general and very careful person. I guess she is just introverted and doesn’t like to be social unless she’s forced to do it. Don’t be critical on her. Don’t. I know, I know. She complained about her daughter again even if I’ve never met her daughter in person. She complained that her daughter is rude to her, unfilial, interested in others but not interested in her own family. On the other hand, her son is a darling and has no fault at all. “He’s a little introverted, but he can’t help it.” That’s her very words. Why did I have this pent up frustration against JM? I will like her more if I I can just tell her plainly that her expression of partiality is quite unfair. Just tell her and burn the friendship or acquaintanceship to ashes. “Acquaintanceship” is a real word or not? I need to get the sleeping pill. I can’t believe this… Well, how come it is so bright? Is it 8AM already?

Published by haoyando

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32 thoughts on “The Insomnia”

  6. I’m sorry to hear you are suffering from insomnia. That’s no fun. I say Acquaintanceship is an acceptable word. I said that and then I looked it up and I found it in a couple of online dictionaries.

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    1. Thank you. That’s a good word, isn’t it? Sometimes some people are not particularly friends but rather acquaintances. It looks like ship can be added to a lot of things. Hmm, I start to wonder if insomnia-ship is a word to describe the state of insomnia.

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  7. I love this story, Haoyan The way you’ve portrayed insomnia in such a creative way. And how you bring the sleeping pill reference into the story again and again. The mindless chatter of the tired but sleepless brain is interesting and relatable. Not being able to sleep is a horrible dilemma.

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    1. Yes, sleep is something we take for granted until it becomes troublesome. We never notice the blessing we enjoy when we have it and we only lament it when we start to lose it. Thank you for your sweet encouragement, always.

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  9. That;s exactly how my mind works whenever I try to sleep! So far, what has helped me was listening to old radio shows from the 1940s and 1950s or listen to an hour of beach sounds that I can find on Youtube.

    Oh yeah, I have never learned how to make an omelet. I also have trouble with some cooking techniques as well. I tried to deep fry some eggplant chunks to make one of my favorite Chinese dishes . . . it was not a pretty sight. It wasn’t a pretty taste.

    Stay warm and hope you can endure the upcoming snowstorm.

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    1. Wow, I love eggplant when cooked in oil. I don’t eat them anymore since it is on the oily side. However I just can’t have enough of it. I discovered that you can dip eggplant in a batter of any kind, and put it in an air fryer. It comes out really delicious. You can spray some oil on it if you want.

      I will try to do some relaxing things before sleep. I’ll see how it works out. Thank you for your suggestions.

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      1. We don’t have an air fryer at home, but I am tempted to buy one. The thing is, I am too afraid that once we have an air fryer we won’t stop frying things, haha. My parents really love pakoras, which is an Indian version of deep-fried vegetables.

        I hope my suggestions help.

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        1. Yes, it does. Actually air frier is so good with deep fried vegetables, especially eggplant. It makes food less oily, if that is what you are looking for. I think I am going to find some pakoras recipes and make some pakoras this weekend.

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  10. Don’t let the bed bugs bite you … (I just adore this saying even though I don’t wish anyone bed bugs). Great post! It’s horrible when your mind just won’t just shut down, lying awake, being annoyed at yourself because you just can’t fall asleep, knowing you have to get up in the morning very early and the clock is ticking, getting annoyed again … a vicious cycle! Maybe watching something really really boring like the shopping channel or one of those TV preachers promising you heaven for just 29,99$ might help? Or hot milk with honey? Or a boring book? Or … wishing you a good night’s sleep!!!

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    1. Thank you. You make me laugh. Yes, watching the shopping channel and listening to boring preaching can send people to sleep. Definitely. How come I’ve never thought about that. It is awful when the mind just keep ranting like a mad woman. LOL. I have to say bed bugs have been a huge concern for a while but recently it died down. Before the pandemic, I heard that a Broadway theatre was shut down for fumigation due to bed bugs who sucked blood out of the theater patrons.

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    1. Thank you. I eventually did, but sleeping hasn’t been as good as before. LOL. Life is like this. What can we do. I have to agree with what you said in your post, count the blessings and feel good about the things we do have.

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