The Kidnap And The Witch (Continued)

Continued from the previous post here.

Lana doesn’t know what to do. And here on the island of Asiana, people pray to the forest god when they can’t find a way to save themselves. When they become tired of their praying, they go to see Wich, who lives deep in the forest, away from the rest of the population.

Wich: “You need to pay two bottles of coconut wine before our conversation starts. Due to the recently financial crisis, our inflation is 300%. The currency is quite worthless right now. I’d rather be paid with…”

Lana: “People told me your price is one bottle of coconut wine.”

Wich: “That’s for the 99% of the regular people. You belong to the 1% rich people on this island. You can afford it.”

Lana: “That’s a rip off. No wonder people call you a witch. People say you hate the rich; you despise the poor; you scold the old; you condescend the young; you are wary of men; you are insensitive to women; you dislike the authority; you can’t stand the powerless mass. Every day you concoct your lonely juice of cynicism and wish the world ill.”

Wich: “And you still choose to visit me. I wonder why?”

Lana: “I… It’s a long story.”

Wich: “I already know. You know my customers tell me things. So you want to be a good girl all your life until you can’t continue to be a good girl anymore…”

Lana: “What are you saying? You mean if I become as bad as you are, I can get out of my conundrum?”

Wich: “I can’t believe people say so many bad things about me. I mean after all those things I’ve done for them. I mean it’s because of me that people can continue with their life that is deemed appropriate and normal. Without me providing anti-depressant anti-anxiety herbs, half of the population would go mad? Without me helping them with unwanted pregnancy, how can they get on with their ‘respectable’ life? Most importantly, without me providing ‘clever advice’ to help them navigate their life, their dogmatic thinking will get them into all kinds of trouble. Anyway, on average, each woman will come to see me at least five times in their life… So even if they hate me as a heresy, they still need me. Your mother is a perfect example.”

Lana: “Oh my goodness. Five times? Dear me. My mother? She’s an impeccable woman. How could she come to see you five times?”

Wich: “Ask her yourself. I am not at the liberty to review wich-client confidentiality agreement. Anyway, I had such a good business 30 years ago when our island’s beauty standard changed from chubbiness to slimness.”

Lana: “Really?”

Wich: “Yes, we are surrounded by tropical fruit of sweetness. How can we not to be chubby? We adored chubbiness for thousands of years, but then it all changed. We had to be modernized into thinking that being slim is beautiful. I made a concoction that can intoxicate the mind while quench the appetite. People love it. I had such good business in those days.”

Lana: “I am not coming to see you about beauty problem.”

Wich: “I know. The solution to your problem is to learn something from your mom. Your father was a poor lad when he married your mother… What year was that? Your mother came to see me. Anyway, their marriage… How can I put it? They claimed that you were born prematurely, but I didn’t see any sign of premature birth in you. You know what I mean.”

Lana: “Oh, I see. My father wants to be respectable at all cost and he is campaigning to be the head of the commerce department in order to have better access to government contracts. He can’t afford to have a scandal. Wow, you are such a genius.”

4 thoughts on “The Kidnap And The Witch (Continued)

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