Thinking Ahead

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I’ve never written serialized posts before. I’ve always wanted to try, but not knowing how to proceed. My stories are usually scattered, as disorganized as my wandering brain. Serialization requires some discipline, some control, some pre-determined plan etc, all of which I am not good at. The only thing that I have a vague idea about is the content. I do have the following contents that I can probably explore:

A Tragicomic Relationship

My parents’ contentious relationship is one thing I can certainly write about. They were both normal people and made real effort to keep up the appearance of being normal. They never had a physical fight, but their capacity for mentally torturing each other is boundless. If they had each married a suitable spouse, this dark side of theirs might never even surface. However life, or probably fate, played a trick on them and threw them together with no possible exit–divorce was socially unacceptable and financially ruinous.

I know that my writing of this might incur criticism from others, but I am willing to risk it. I am not writing this for those people who want to criticize me, but rather I am writing this to help those who grow up in such a toxic environment just like me. They need all the help they can get to become psychologically and emotionally strong to have a healthy life forward. Now looking back, I can recall all the things I was told that were deliberately designed to manipulate. I was at the time an easy prey, too gullible, too eager, too ready to hold on to anything that looks plausible.

Probably I can make it a series, or probably not. I don’t know yet. Let’s wait and see.

Historical Story

I’ve always wanted to write a story with a 13th century Korean princess as the main character. That was a hectic time for Korea as the Mongols invaded Korea five times from 1231 to 1259. Somehow I can almost imagine being attacked for historical inaccuracy and this is why the book has to be a fiction or even a fantasy book, whatever fantasy book means.

I can also write about Taiping. There was a Taiping Kingdom about two hundred years ago, which was ruthlessly defeated and slaughtered by the Manchus. Taiping claimed to be Christians and it wanted to give equal rights to women.

Learning A Language

There are so many new ways to learn a language, thanks to the internet, online videos, podcasts, and the boundless material available. Now more than ever, one can learn a language just by oneself if one has the inclination. Teachers are not absolutely necessary and textbook is irrelevant. Just a WiFi connection and a laptop will do.

I am learning right now. And I think I can elaborate on the things I do, the mistakes I make, the resources I explore, the problems I encounter, the myths I debunk etc.

32 thoughts on “Thinking Ahead

  1. You can write anything you want. Someone recently told me to always write for yourself. You are a great writer. You held my attention just talking about what you want to write about. I can’t wait. You are already building a good readership that means people are enjoying your work as am I. Have an amazing weekend. Love and hugs, Joni

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    1. Hahaha. That’s a beautiful line–“always write for yourself.” And thank you for your encouragement. Yes, it is true. Building up a good readership will be nice, but I am no good with tags or algorithms. LOL. I guess I can write something that is within my own reach. And with you encouragement, I will continue. Thank you and have a good weekend. A lot of love and hugs to you, Joni, my dear friend.

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      1. You are so welcome. Coming from an extremely dysfunctional home I am almost hoping you write about the dynamics of your family. Either way you will do very well. Blessings and love to you my sweet friend. 🤗❤️💕

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        1. Hahaha. Thank you for commenting. Yes, I will try to write about the toxicity of such an environment, but I hope I can somehow spin a little fun out of it. Let’s wait and see.

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    1. Thank you for your encouragement and I do need that to tackle the “tragicomic family” series. LOL. I have repressed myself for so long that I think it is a good idea to do some catharsis writing.

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    1. Yes, you do have a vote and I think I will do a series on tragicomedy of family life. I experienced first hand and suffered from it terribly. So why not turn my suffering into an entertainment. I only need to make it entertaining since it can be too sad to swallow if it is not entertaining. Thank you so much for the encouragement.

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  2. The Korean Princess one sounds very interesting to me, but I agree with KK in that a tragicomic relationship is a very relevant issue. You can choose anything you like and it’ll turn out just amazing! ☺️

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    1. Yes, I will do a tragicomic relationship series. I think we probably like it more. I have quite some material since I suffered from it. Hahaha. Hopefully I can write some good ones. Thank you for your continuous encouragement.

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  3. The story about your parents’ relationship would surely make for intriguing reading and be comforting to people who have a similar family situation. The historical story I would love to read as I don’t know too much about Asian history but I want to learn more. I don’t think anyone will criticize you for being inaccurate especially if its the genre of historical fiction. Also a language learning series will be great. I have recently embarked on the journey of trying to teach myself a language, so I would eagerly read your perspective and ideas. So….. a long comment to simply say all these ideas are wonderful 🙂

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    1. Thank you. Lizi. You are my inspiration. Wish such kind of encouragement, of course I will do a tragicomic series on it. I’ve suffered so much from such a toxic environment that I am a self acclaimed expert on this. Hahaha. Yes, I want to do a Korean princess for ages but don’t know how to write historical stories. LOL. Yes, I am learning language now and want to share what I think of language in general.

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      1. Well, I look forward to reading anything and everything you will write. 😁 With the historical series, I admit I know nothing about this type of writing but you are a great storyteller already so it would seem to be a matter of changing up the setting. You are good at describing how people talk, think, and act. I think human nature is more similar than different between the 13th century and the 21st century.

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        1. Thank you for your encouragement. Hahaha. Yes, 13th century. It’s a long time ago. I don’t know what to do with it. To write like a satire about today’s society? I don’t know if I have the skill. To write like a history? I don’t have sufficient knowledge. Still I aspire to it and want to try.

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        2. Thank you for your message, which gives me such motivations. I’ve never written anything like that and am a little uneasy to take it on, but I may soon muster enough strength with your encouragement.

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  4. Never be afraid or ashamed to speak out, Haoyan. No one knows your journey and what it has been like for you. So judgments don’t even matter. Maybe some have no better pastime. It’s traumatic to grow up in a toxic household. Mind games are the worst and do the most damage. I’m so glad that you’re such a positive and hardworking individual. Many lessons to be learnt from you. And please do write that fiction book. It’ll be wonderful. Rooting for you. 🙂

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    1. You are right on the spot. “Ashamed” is exactly the right word to use here. People like me who grew up in toxic environment are ashamed to talk about it and are afraid that other people would laugh at them in contempt. A lot of them have to swallow their sadness and pretend to be normal all their life while in fact they live in quiet desperation and repressed by the non-expression.

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  5. I think a tragicomic relationship is a relevant issue, as it involves at least two generations. I’m really surprised when a couple in toxic relationship claim that their child’s care and welfare are paramount in their minds. How a child will grow normally if parents are fighting or separated? There may be contradictory views, but this world is full of contradictions.

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    1. Thank you for such an encouragement. I will do a series since I have material in my head and a little reflection will bring them out. That is so true. Many people refuse to acknowledge that a child growing up in a toxic family environment is emotionally and psychologically damaged. A separation or a divorce of the parents is a better choice for the child, although many people will object. Still people should not be forced to stay in a toxic relationship, which is soul crushing.

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