“Has she been living in a cave somewhere, not listening to the news, too busy toeing the real or imagined line?” I ask myself this question while smiling at her sweetly, the kind of smile that mixes business acumen with personal relationship. However recently I have started to doubt my ability to reach an ideal mixture. I suspect that, most likely along the way, I have lost both business cleverness and personal touch. Skepticism is often worse than a misplaced confidence in oneself. The former brings endless unease and insecurity while the latter gives one easy assurance, even though the latter is a bigger evil.
She is a young student who needs a little assistance with English. She wrote a play with her friend–a romance and a tragedy. She has an absorption for broken heart and lost affection. When I was her age, I was like that too. In order to write something profound, I almost enjoyed feeling miserable.
She didn’t grow up in America. American teenagers are very different from her. I can imagine her growing up at the foothill of Himalaya, breathing the otherworldly air and being unaware of what’s going on elsewhere.
“It’s a beautiful play.” I tell her sweetly and she really believes me. “But unfortunately the play is more about the man rather than the woman. I feel that the woman’s lines are just reactions to the man. I wish it’s the other way around.”
“You are…right,” she says, “you are so right. How come I didn’t think of that? How come we didn’t think of that? I can’t believe this.”
I can say a lot of things to her and I can explain to her why she did what she did. The books, the teachers, the school, the society, the culture are the reasons she is what she is and she does what she does. However I don’t feel like shocking her too much at this point since it might frighten her away. I don’t want to frighten a client away.
There is a time for everything and this is not the time for it.
Haoyan Do 