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I have nothing to write today. I did something thinking today and realized that I just couldn’t write three posts at once and schedule them for the next three days. I can’t do it. I also can’t make a schedule, block up a time period, and ask myself to write for the pre-determined span of time. I just can’t do it. When the designated time comes, my mind just goes blank.
The pressure is there, but my heart is not. So from now on, I just give up on everything. Let it go and only write when I feel like it. Scheduling is not working at all and I have no idea how to deal with this.
Coincidentally, somebody just asked me how to do time management. And a couple of weeks ago, somebody asked me how to encourage oneself and stay motivated. I have no idea how to answer these questions. I can’t even manage my own time despite a strong willingness to do so. Often I can’t stay motivated either. I work only because working is my habit; I act (or move) only because it takes a lot of energy to be stationary.
Obviously I couldn’t tell people these honest thoughts. So I had to come up with some ideas about time management and self encouragement. “Doing it systematically; having a goal; exploring your interests; listening to your body; staying positive.” I could hardly listen to myself. I was such a fraud. Obviously I had no idea what I was talking about, and I only said this because I wanted to be a good girl and to be respected and to say the right thing. Etiquette is a necessary bore; bluntness is an unaffordable entertainment.
In reality, I often have to scramble in the last minute to get things done; I am always indecisive when I should be decisive; I am frequently attracted by the obvious and undermined by the non-obvious; I hate myself for not saying anything when I should have said something, but when I actually said something, I ended up regretting what I have said. I dislike disorder and try hard to organize everything, but looking at the ordered result of my hard work, I don’t feel the pleasure that I think I should have felt.
Am I in a negative bubble? Am I not assertive enough?
Haoyan Do 
I know I’ve struggled with writing when faced with a schedule and especially since I started college, I’ve had to write when I feel called to write, regardless of whether I share that writing or not. 🙂
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I publish three times a week, sometimes I write ten, sometimes none, over time it all works out. Write what you like, when you like – maybe give yourself a week or two to build up an initial ‘stock’ – and reserve you schedule for publication dates. Mostly I find my best posts are written with an empty head.
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you are just you. Stay that way 🤣😎🙃
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Not at all. Creativity can’t be forced. Write when you feel it coming from inside, about something you feel you need to express. Identified a lot with what you’ve said in this post.
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I only write when I feel like it. Unfortunately that’s not often at the moment!
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It’s hard to schedule and stay motivated. Write when you’re feeling it.
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