The Professor’s Wife (Flash Fiction Part 5)

This is the 5th part of the story. The previous parts are here: 1, 2, 3, 4.

Well, her husband Daneu has always been a good provider for her despite his over-enthusiasm in helping his mother and his brother. Alotus has never had a problem with it before, but now with her father’s death and her existential crisis, she begins to see displeasure in places that she has never paid attention to before. And she starts to question what was unquestionable before.

She thinks about it day and night. What really upsets her is that all the disadvantages of the family are falling on her shoulders, while all the advantages are enjoyed by everybody else. Her husband is advancing in his career and does academic work that he has always enjoyed, although sometimes he does complain about his not getting a better salary and not getting better recognition in the field. Her children are growing and start to talk back to her in English in reply to her questions asked in the “unfashionable” Asian language she speaks at home. Her mother-in-law enjoys her life with her son, which has always been her dream. Daneu’s mother admires Daneu ever since he was born–she wanted to live with her son much more than she had ever wanted to live with her husband. And obviously she has realized her dream. Everybody gets what he or she wants, and Alotus is the only one who is disappointed, un-communicated, disregarded, unloved by her own family. This is not entirely true, but Alotus feels this way. She has to suffer horrible discomfort to give birth to her two children; she had to go to live in Pennsylvania, alone, in order to make more money for their growing family; every weekend, she had to chauffeur her mother-in-law to senior gathering or mahjong party or doctor’s appointment while Daneu, her mother-in-law’s adorable son, doesn’t do any of these chores. She has sacrificed so much for her family, but has gained so little. And her own family members, who have blossomed out of her sacrifice, don’t even give her much affection in return.

With so much to think about, she sometimes lies in bed at night, wide awake for hours. Her husband Daneu would do some puzzles, flip through several pages of math magazines, or read some comics or cartoons before he goes to sleep. She used to love Danue’s nerdy interests. She used to think he was profound, erudite, clever. She was proud of him and sang his praise to others. Now she feels that Daneu is a pervert or a nut case in a non-antisocial way. How can a normal human being have nothing to talk with a fellow human being lying next to him, while paying all his attention to some boring math figures or symbols? How can that be possible? And he always sleeps so well. He is like a math robot who likes to eat, breathe, do math, and sleep. He looks healthy, happy, fulfilled while she is the exact opposite. He looks 20 years younger than her with almost no wrinkles at all, while she feels and looks so old that she is afraid to look at a mirror–every time she looks, she finds new wrinkles. 

She doesn’t understand how she gets herself into the current situation. She has always done the right thing and has always been a good girl. How come? She has always considered herself lucky. And she still thinks she is lucky. After all she is not H, her neighbor, whose husband has a mistress that everybody knows except H; she is not like L, whose husband works across the Pacific and only comes back once or twice a year; she is not like M, whose ex never pays a penny of child support since he works for the family business and his parents make sure that he has no income to his name; she is not like P, whose husband is an expert in losing money in casinos, stock market, or whatever business interest he sets his eyes on. So she is still the lucky woman she has always been, but how come she is so unhappy? How come she feels so bitter?

She is not going to be as silent as a clam about this. Unfairness is being done to her, although she is not sure what it is, and she wants revenge.

(To Be Continued Here)

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