Different Cultures Different Choices

Reflections 3 Minutes

Image by Jess Bailey from Pixabay

I talked with my friend L who told me that she and her colleagues went to an Asian restaurant last Friday. And they ordered two edamame and two miso soups as starters. She wanted to say they should not do that since one can boil edamame at home and whip up a miso soup in two minutes. “They should not order these. It’s a waste.” She said and I agreed. She wanted to tell them but she didn’t want to be the killjoy who spoils the pleasant atmosphere of a Friday outing.

In her company, there are one Asian team, one Latino team and one real American team–I don’t know if this is the politically correct way of saying this, but you know what I mean. She works in the Asian team and her immediate boss is an Asian immigrant just like her. They do their sales, targeting the Asian community. People would go out for lunch on Friday regularly. Most Asians don’t go for a lunch like this since we want to save money. However once in a while, when the chosen restaurant is an Asian restaurant that my friend likes, she would go.

And this brings me to the notion of cultural differences. Americans like to order whatever they like on the impulse of the moment, but we Asians only order food items that we don’t know how to cook at home. We don’t do impulses very often. We tend to think more about “worth it or not worth it”. However this cannot explain why Asians like to go to casinos so much. I mean casinos are the worst places to practice the notion of “worth it”.

Perceptions About Long Line

The other day, I watched a food vlog on YouTube by a person who has lived in various Asian countries for more than 10 years. He is at an open air food market with many food stalls selling all kinds of steamed or fried food. At one point, he says, “look, there is a long line here. The food must be good. Now I’m thinking like an Asian.” So he queues up. And it turns out people are lining up for fried durian, but he doesn’t like durian.

And this brings me to the fact that Americans don’t like long lines except when they are in Disneyland. Outside of the fairy tale kingdom, they often try to avoid long lines. However for the Asian psyche, a long line always seems to suggest that there are something popular or something sought-after or something on sale, which we should not miss.

Sidewalks and Balconies

Sidewalks here are always under-utilized (except in NYC). You don’t see anybody except an occasional dog walker or jogger. Other than that, they look quite desolate and deserted. Same can be said about balconies. Nobody utilize their balconies. If one’s condo or apartment or townhouse has a balcony, one doesn’t do anything to it except putting several potted flowers there.

I’ve heard stories of several Asians who wanted to utilize their balcony in the proper Asian ways, but the condo board or townhouse association ended up giving them a fine or threatening them with a penalty. You know we like to utilize our balcony as an outdoor kitchen for daily stir fry, or extra storage space, or a place to air dry the laundry.

Grandparents

The concept of grandparents is very different in America. Here grandparents are not really involved in a child’s growing up experiences. They only see their grandkids on holidays and they don’t have a say on important issues concerning their grandkids.

Back home, grandparents are very involved. Many kids live with their grandparents before they attend primary schools. Actually the ability of their parents offering a full-time helping hand in child-rearing is taken into consideration when a couple are pondering whether they should have kids.

However, I think Asia is getting Americanized right now, which is why the birthrate is plummeting. The reason for the low birthrate is not really due to the unwillingness of young people to have kids, at least in my opinion. It is more due to the fact that there is a grandma revolution right now, which means grandmas are refusing to take care of grandkids. Asian grandmas want to enjoy their retirement, plan trips, meet friends etc. They don’t want to behave like surrogate mothers so that their daughters or daughter-in-laws can have full time jobs.

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Published by haoyando

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25 thoughts on “Different Cultures Different Choices”

  1. You can count South Asians in when you say Asian because we’re the same way. When we go out we usually eat things we can’t make at home. I would never in a million years order miso soup or boiled edamame at a restaurant either.

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    1. So true. Soooooo True. I will never order miso or edamame in a restaurant. That’s an absolute million-year NO. Yes, I do understand Asians and try hard to understand other value systems. It really fascinates me how different people think so differently.

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      1. I think Asians are more conscious of prices when we eat outside and tend to pick things that we can’t make at home because we feel like it’s a better use of the money. At least that’s how I feel. Like I don’t want to pay for something basic I can make at home. If I eat out I would rather buy something I can’t cook.

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        1. Yes, we are more price conscious and can calculate by heart how saving $10 here and there can contribute to the early pay up of mortgages. LOL. I know a person who knows the number by heart.

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        3. Yes. I kind of understand why some people order miso soup and edamame–they do monthly budgeting. And going out to eat has a pre-allocated budget amount, which they can spend in whatever way they like. So they can give in to whatever impulses they have at the moment and order the most “unworthy” dishes as long as they are under the budgeted figure. However for most Asians, we save every penny. LOL. We frame our life differently.

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        4. I wish I was like that and didn’t overthink things. But I think us Asians are taught from a young age to make certain decisions when it comes to money and we grow up like that.

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        5. Yes, it is very hard to go beyond one’s upbringing since one’s emotion, aesthetics, aspiration and a lot of other things are all built up on the premise that is set up in childhood. And whenever people want to let go of a long established habit, they become … a little strange or unhinged even. It is hard to describe.

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  2. What an interesting post … I also order food at restaurants I don’t cook at home. I’d never order Spaghetti Bolognese or other pasta dishes with sauces cause I cook them myself and I’d rather have the pizza, vitello tonnato or other more complex dishes. Or schnitzel, of course. It’s such a mess to do for one person 😁. My grandparents lived 3 car hours away, so I only saw them on vacations or holidays … but I guess today everything is quite different with all the moving around due to jobs etc. In the old days grandparents, parents and kids lived together, especially in rural areas. Caring for each other.

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    1. Me too. We have the same kind of thinking. I mean having pizza or dishes difficult to make at home is why we go to restaurants. LOL. I will have to look up what vitello tonnato or schnitzel is. Wait… Vitello tonnato looks wonderful. And so true that schnitzel is too much to cook just for one person. schnitzel sounds very delicious and I wonder why there are no Austria or German restaurant in this area. I mean we have all kinds of restaurants in this area from all kinds of nations. I even saw an Afghanistan restaurant and Tibetan restaurant in NYC.

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      1. There might be Bavarian restaurants in NYC. Their food is similar to Austrian food. No Austrian restaurant here in my German vicinity either. I’d have to drive an hour … and then it’s more a high end restaurant.

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  3. Interesting what you say about sidewalks (or “pavements” as we call them in the UK). When we were in Los Angeles we decided to walk north from the airport hotel. Because we were in LA (and because I’m a Brit) I doubted this was even possible. It did turn out to be possible but the sidewalks were deserted there too. In fact many of them were broken and churned up by tree roots so the walk had an almost rural feel to it!

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    1. So true. I learned pavement growing up. Also trousers, dust bin, how do you do, porridge, and all the extra “u” after “o”. Then I have to switch to an Americanized version of English. L.A. is so sprawling and people drive like crazy. And different towns and areas have different ordinance to govern who should fix the pavement. For example, if one lives in a town near Edison here, one is supposed to pay for the repair of the pavement right in front of one’s house.

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  7. You can always find an exception. My wife and I are grandparents in America and have had as many as three (and currently two) grandchildren living in our home since 2013. I have been very involved with their upbringing. And not because it’s my vocation. And not because I am good at it!

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  8. Maybe it is a generational thing but my grandparents were very much involved in my upbringing. I can see this changing in the coming decades.

    And very spot on about the restaurants. My parents always order what they cannot make at home.

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    1. Thank you for your nice comment. Yes, my narcissistic grandma was very involved in her grandkids and help raise more narcissists in the grandkids generation. Yes, grandparents are very involved with grandkids in many cultures. It is changing right now.

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