Image by Christine Sponchia from Pixabay
Two ostriches, obviously dating, the male being a little bigger than the female, are walking leisurely on a grassland sparsely donned by trees. Suddenly two cheetahs jump out of nowhere. They chase after the male ostrich first since he’s closer to them. The male runs for his dear life. Then the cheetahs realize that the female is probably a better target since she runs slower. So they change their course and go for the easier prey. There’s a chase and soon it’s all over. When the cats go hungry, the bird has to die.
“Haha. Haha.” Pan chuckles as he watches. Pan only watches soccer, professional wrestling, and animal shows on TV. Today he happens to be watching a BBC nature documentary.
“How can you laugh? It’s gross.” Pammy says. Pan didn’t know she’s standing behind the sofa. He thought she’s still in the kitchen, but she has already finished cleaning up after dinner. She’s about to go upstairs to take a shower, only to stop by the living room to retrieve something.
“What do you mean? Gross? That’s just nature.” Pan smiles and says in his usual relaxed voice, which he reserves for a night after a good dinner.
“The ostrich just watches his girlfriend being eaten. And you just chuckle and feel happy about it.” Pammy says.
“What do you expect from the male ostrich? Go fight the cheetahs? Get real, Pammy.” Pan says, “And come sit here. Stop being so busy around the house all the time.”
In the old days, Pammy used to feign an interest in sports and animal shows. They watched TV together, but not for long. The two just don’t have the same preference. Pammy wants to watch South Korean soap operas. Soon it was settled that Pan would watch his programs in the living room while Pammy would go upstairs to continue her Korean drama in the bedroom.
“I can’t believe you get entertained by this. You should feel indignant–the male ostrich just watches while his girlfriend is bullied.” Pammy says.
“OK. I will call up the safari police to teach the ostrich a moral lesson and arrest the two big cats.” Pan says and starts to chuckle again, this time at his own joke, but Pammy is determined not to be amused.
“I don’t mind about the ostriches, but I feel that there is something in your chuckle.” Pammy says, taking a step forward to be close to Pan and sitting down beside him. “It’s almost like you are happy that the male ostrich gets rid of his girlfriend. Now he can find a new one.”
“Pammy, you are stretching everything. How can you feel anything from my little chuckle? Glad you are not a judge or a police. You can condemn people for imaginary crimes. If you are upset, be upset with BBC. It’s not me. I am just an innocent viewer.” Pan complains.
“How come I feel that you are a participant? Did you feel a sense of relief and a sense of freedom? I mean from the restraint of a relationship? Now that the girlfriend is gone, the male ostrich is liberated. Confess. The truth will set you free.” Pammy says and grabs Pan’s hands while staring into his eyes.
“Wait, wait. This is too much. Are you insane? I am not going to carry on with this mad conversation.” Pan takes his hands back. Just to show his displeasure, he flips the channel and pretends that Pammy is not there.
Pammy goes upstairs and the argument seems to be over, but Pan knows it is not really over. He knows that Pammy is going to broach this topic again when something else comes up–Pammy’s ability to connect unrelated issues is boundless. Also he suspects that Pammy is going to punish him subtly with food, for example, refusing to make homemade rice wine for several months or deliberately cooking ultra healthy food. “Healthy food must be invented by vengeful wives.” Pan says to himself.
Haoyan Do 
Pan has to go through this every day. Girlfriends/wives can be stubborn.
The little arguments can be fun sometimes though😂
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Yes, Pammy and Pan are perpetually engaging. it can be exhausting and it can be fun too.
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I’ve never fully understood women. That could help solve most of the problems. I don’t think anybody does but it’s fine.
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In the same way, women don’t really understand men either. It is fun to experience.
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I agree 😂
The spark might disappear if we both understood each other.
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Yes, that is so true.
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“OK. I will call up the safari police to teach the ostrich a moral lesson and arrest the two big cats.”
Very funny.
If only he hadn’t chuckled…
Excellent story. 🙂
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Thank you. I am glad you like it. Yes, Pan is trying to be funny, but Pammy is not amused. LOL.
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I have a cousin who was almost attacked by a cheetah and ostriches- it was on two separate occasions though and to be fair it was mostly his fault. I think Pan and Pammy need to have a proper conversation about their relationship because it seems like Pammy just holds in her anger till it boils over which is never healthy.
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Wow, your cousin has to be careful. It is said you want to carry a big stick with you to ward off any potential attacks. Well, I have to say Pan and Pammy are in their forties and their marriage has evolved to a dangerous stage when women are increasingly feeling insecure while men have more options and are more sought after. Many women have to go through cosmetic surgery to stay young and it is so sad to see many of my acquaintances go through various procedures. If life is a poker game, women are not dealt with a good hand. Even though Pammy is not really saying as bluntly as she does in the story, the insecurity is the big elephant in the room and it seeps into daily conversations in all its anxious and disheartening forms.
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Yeah a lot of women go through that in their 40’s and it’s very sad. I know a few of my aunts and mum’s friends who have similar insecurities and ended up get cosmetic procedures. Women have been dealt a bad hand in every walk of life.
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It is more important for women to know how to protect themselves and how to pursue happiness. I mean real happiness rather than those unreal goals of felicity, which can be so deceiving to gullible minds.
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Yes absolutely. We as women also need to learn to put ourselves first because a lot of times we are taught to ignore our needs especially as a wife and/or mother. We need to learn to live for ourselves.
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There’s an old saying that women’s life have more dangerous spots, for example emotional maturity, marriage, child birth, child rearing, housework, juggling different responsibilities etc. Women are facing all these difficulties in their life. I sometimes hear people say that girls are more emotionally mature than boys, which is just not true. Probably a little bit or in different style when emotion is concerned, but girls are definitely not born to be emotionally mature or stronger. Whenever gender is concerned, there are so much misinformation and girls have to be very careful as to what they choose to believe.
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An enjoyable original story.
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Thank you, Patrick. I am glad you like it. And thank you for visiting.
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How does Pammy feel about the female praying mantis eating her boyfriend after they are done mating?
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That’s a great question and I will use this question in the second half of this story when Pammy talks about this incident with her friends.
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Awesome!
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Either reader or writer, curiosity drives both. Wonderful work, haoyan.👏👏
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Thank you for reading. I am glad you like it.
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Sorry, Pammy, but Pan is right on this one and you sound a little bit…off.
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Oh, Herb, I understand what you mean. Pan is like that; Pammy is very different from Pan. Glad you like it.
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I enjoyed your work of short fiction. I guess healthy food could be considered cruel and usual punishment for a guy who watches carnage on TV.
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Yes, “cruel and usual” punishment. Indeed. Thank you for your comment. I’ve always felt that those big cats TV shows cater to many people’s warring instinct. The same reason for the popularity of sports.
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