Two ostriches, obviously dating, the male being a little bigger than the female, are walking leisurely on a grassland sparsely donned by trees. Suddenly two cheetahs jump out of nowhere. They chase after the male ostrich first since he’s closer to them. The male runs for his dear life. Then the cheetahs realize that the female is probably a better target since she runs slower. So they change their course and go for the easier prey. There’s a chase and soon it’s all over. When the cats go hungry, the bird has to die.
“Haha. Haha.” Pan chuckles as he watches. Pan only watches soccer, professional wrestling, and animal shows on TV. Today he happens to be watching a BBC nature documentary.
“How can you laugh? It’s gross.” Pammy says. Pan didn’t know she’s standing behind the sofa. He thought she’s still in the kitchen, but she has already finished cleaning up after dinner. She’s about to go upstairs to take a shower, only to stop by the living room to retrieve something.
“What do you mean? Gross? That’s just nature.” Pan smiles and says in his usual relaxed voice, which he reserves for a night after a good dinner.
“The ostrich just watches his girlfriend being eaten. And you just chuckle and feel happy about it.” Pammy says.
“What do you expect from the male ostrich? Go fight the cheetahs? Get real, Pammy.” Pan says, “And come sit here. Stop being so busy around the house all the time.”
In the old days, Pammy used to feign an interest in sports and animal shows. They watched TV together, but not for long. The two just don’t have the same preference. Pammy wants to watch South Korean soap operas. Soon it was settled that Pan would watch his programs in the living room while Pammy would go upstairs to continue her Korean drama in the bedroom.
“I can’t believe you get entertained by this. You should feel indignant–the male ostrich just watches while his girlfriend is bullied.” Pammy says.
“OK. I will call up the safari police to teach the ostrich a moral lesson and arrest the two big cats.” Pan says and starts to chuckle again, this time at his own joke, but Pammy is determined not to be amused.
“I don’t mind about the ostriches, but I feel that there is something in your chuckle.” Pammy says, taking a step forward to be close to Pan and sitting down beside him. “It’s almost like you are happy that the male ostrich gets rid of his girlfriend. Now he can find a new one.”
“Pammy, you are stretching everything. How can you feel anything from my little chuckle? Glad you are not a judge or a police. You can condemn people for imaginary crimes. If you are upset, be upset with BBC. It’s not me. I am just an innocent viewer.” Pan complains.
“How come I feel that you are a participant? Did you feel a sense of relief and a sense of freedom? I mean from the restraint of a relationship? Now that the girlfriend is gone, the male ostrich is liberated. Confess. The truth will set you free.” Pammy says and grabs Pan’s hands while staring into his eyes.
“Wait, wait. This is too much. Are you insane? I am not going to carry on with this mad conversation.” Pan takes his hands back. Just to show his displeasure, he flips the channel and pretends that Pammy is not there.
Pammy goes upstairs and the argument seems to be over, but Pan knows it is not really over. He knows that Pammy is going to broach this topic again when something else comes up–Pammy’s ability to connect unrelated issues is boundless. Also he suspects that Pammy is going to punish him subtly with food, for example, refusing to make homemade rice wine for several months or deliberately cooking ultra healthy food. “Healthy food must be invented by vengeful wives.” Pan says to himself.