My Unbelievable Friend

Let’s just call him Wai, which is not his real name, and I’ve changed several details so that nobody can recognize him even if they read this blog. However the story is true. I’ve always felt that at least half of my friends are mad, and I think my friends are probably thinking everybody else is mad. So it is a world of mutual madness here.

Wai:”I need a new GPS right now because the one I am using is too old with inaccurate road guide.”

Me: “It’s a pandemic. You don’t drive as much as before. Just several routine routes. What’s the urgency?”

Wai: “I need to drive down to Texas and I can’t do it without a new GPS. How far away is it from New Jersey to Texas?”

Me: “I don’t know. Why do you want to go there? There’s a snow storm and no fresh water.”

Wai: “My cousin moved there three months ago, didn’t I tell you? Their company moved half of the operation there. They bought a house down there and just moved in. Then the pipe burst last week and half of the house was damaged.”

Me: “So, you want to live in a damaged house?”

Wai: “Do you know the renovation cost? It is astronomical. They can’t afford to hire a contractor. You know everybody wants to hire them and their price is just through the roof.”

Me: “Sorry to hear that. Can they hire someone from Flushing, New York, and ask them to travel there?”

Wai: “No, you don’t understand. I am going down there to help them.”

Me: “I never know you have such skills. You can’t even install a door bell for your store with instructions clearly printed on the cover. You told me when the window of your store was jammed, you had to call in …”

Wai: “I hate people with good memories. They always remember other people’s faults. How about those successful things I’ve done.”

Me: “Yes, you have a lot of merits and achievements, which by the way I remember clearly, but not in the area of home improvement. Wait a minute. Did you present yourself as an expert in home renovation. Your cousin and his wife are convinced by you and now they hire you to …”

Wai: “It’s a pandemic. My store is not doing well. So going down to Texas to make some money for a month is a good deal I think.”

Me: “Living in a damaged house and doing work you don’t know how to do for a month? You surely know how to torture yourself.”

Wai: “People eat sh*t to make some money.”