Pammy and her husband Pan, the forever arguing and loving couple, come home from a dinner party at the house of Pan’s office manager of the financial company Pan works for.
“How nice Mrs. Marino is. She gives me her recipe for her risotto.” Pammy says.
“You praised that rice dish too eagerly, almost like forcing her to give you … Don’t tell me you don’t believe it. It’s a fact.” Pan says.
“Really? Am I too eager? You told me that I am either too silent to look reserved, or too eager to be almost tactless. I don’t know how to deal with this subtlety. You know only the native English speakers know how to behave in their subtle ways. We Asians don’t know how…” Pammy says.
“Oh, never mind. Don’t feel bad about it. We only go to such kind of party once a year. Well, even their food is too subtle, isn’t it? I mean the risotto is the only good dish I think. Do we still have some leftover from yesterday? I will add some chili sauce right now and eat it. I don’t feel satisfied if the food doesn’t give me a kick.” Pan says and opens the refrigerator.
“Haha, you just come back from a dinner. You make me laugh.” Pammy says, “by the way, don’t you think Mrs. Marino was a little startled when you called me by my full name? I mean you should call me ‘honey’. I told you many times.”
“I feel very weird to call you honey, sweetheart, or darling. It’s just a little too sweet for me. I feel like laughing whenever I say ‘honey’. We didn’t grow up with it and I feel unnatural saying it.” Pan says.
“We are Asian immigrants. We want to learn and emulate. Now just say ‘honey’ several times a day and you will get used to it.” Pammy says.
“Are you sure Mrs. Marino was startled? I think it’s your imagination.” Pan asks.
“How come your observation is a fact while my observation is an imagination?” Pammy protests. “I want you to say ‘honey’ three times tonight to me, you know like our neighbor Mr. and Mrs. Brian across the street. Do you know Mrs. Brain is a mixed race? She told me herself.”
“Really? I can’t tell. She just looks like any other Italian or Irish girls of New York area.” Pan says while munching on a piece of fried tofu with chili sauce poured on it.
“I think this is why they live in our mixed town. Otherwise they would have moved to South Jersey.” Pammy says. “Anyway, Mr. Brian is honey this and honey that all the time even if Mrs. Brian doesn’t cook much. What a nice husband Mr. Brian is. You need to learn something from him.”
Pan walks to the living room window to stare at the house of Brian across the street.
“Don’t take your food out of the kitchen. You know. The sauce can fall on the carpet. Also don’t step on the new rug. Can you walk around it?” Pammy walks after Pan.
“If you don’t want people to step on your rug, you should roll it up. Wait a minute. Look, Pammy, your model husband Mr. Brian is fighting with Mrs. Brian.” Pan says, almost gloatingly. “Do you still want me to learn from him?”
Across the street, Mrs. Brian is throwing something at Mr. Brian, who was carrying two suitcases to his car.
“I guess no more honey for the Brians.” Pan says and comes back to the kitchen to put the bowl in the sink. He starts to hum a little happy tune as if the Brians are putting up a performance just for him so that he can win his argument.
“That’s just a lover’s quarrel. I am sure.” Pammy stares out of the window and thinks that if this were in her hometown, neighbors would come to lecture them on forgiveness and help negotiate a peace pact. “Love is a turmoil and it is messy, you know. Fighting is better than false harmony. You hear me? Where are you going? You still need to call me honey.”
Pan has already disappeared to the bedroom upstairs and Pammy comes back to the kitchen fretfully. She knows this sounds absurd but she can’t help feeling that Mr. and Mrs. Brian are fighting deliberately to disappoint her.
“Pan, I told you not to put your dish in the sink like that. When the chili sauce dries up, it’s hard to scrub off.” She raises her voice to the direction of the bedroom, “Oh, I should have said, ‘honey’.”
This is the kind of story I would love to read on my podcast.
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can I read this, credit you as author with a link to your blog ?
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Sure. You can reblog it on your site. LOL. Thank you for asking. πππ
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Oh, sorry, I misunderstood. Yes, you can read it in your podcast and make a link to my website. Thank you.
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thanks my podcast is strictly stories written about anything by all kinds of people from throughout the world.
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Great.
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Oh.. I just loved this argument. It’s like everyday conversation in the Asian families. To be frank, I too feel a bit odd when someone calls their partner as honey.
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Thank you for the comment. It is coming from the everyday issues. LOL. We have different reactions when hearing “honey”, especially when hearing “honey” used among Asian couples. LOL.
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Well, verbal expressions are not the only way to show affection or any emotions. Sometimes a few gestures are enough. We can guess what a person feels just by looking into their eyes π sometimes only that is.
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Oh, that is so true, especially among family members and close friends. I totally agree with you.
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I think I have been in some of the conversation you describe so well.
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LOL. I love discussions, especially a heated discussions. LOL.
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Comparison is the thief of joy. We Asians love to compare ourselves a lot.
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I mean *compare. Whoops.
I need my covfefe.
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Yes, I edited it. LOL.
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LOL! Thank you very much!
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LOL. Yes, we just can’t help it.
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π Haha that was super cute and funny!
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Oh, thank you. ππππ
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So true! A beautiful article!!
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Thank you.
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Haha π π€£, expressing our emotions can be super hard sometimes π
Poor brians tho
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Yes, we have formed a habit as to how to express as we grow up and it is hard to change it. LOL.
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This post is soo true!!
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Thank youπππ
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Hi! I was conducting and online baking workshop. My very first being 13ππ!
Would you like to join in? I have given some details in my most recent blog postπ
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I always have this problem- I feel like people think I am cold or aloof because I am not super friendly but as an immigrant I’m just not used to being like that. We express ourselves differently and it can be awkward to act so unnaturally.
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Same here. I can chat forever only with people I’m really familiar with. Otherwise I am kind of quiet and reserved, which is considered to be sulky and indifferent. LOL. I wonder if there’s a way to cater to myself as well as to society. I wonder. Life is a problem without solutions. LOL.
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If you ever figure out the solution let me know…
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Yes, I would surely let you know.
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The poor Brians. Would people really go out and lecture them? That seems really nosey and intrusive but I don’t know, maybe it would be a better way. My wife and I don’t use a lot of pet names for each other, like honey or sweety.
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LOL. When the fight got really intense, the neighbors would come and the men would go out with the husband (to drink and to vent grievances) while the women would stay to chat. People live much closer to each other back there. LOL. Yes, it is very nosy and will not happen in America.
Oh, I imagine you have your secret endearment and “honey” is too commonplace for you.
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Hahahaha…Perhaps you’re right as I think on it.
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ππππ
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Very true. Γsians are not so expressive!
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LOL. We have our non-expressive manifestation.
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